


Stay

by Reylogirlforever



Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Epidode Vlll The Last Jedi, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars episode Vll The force Awakens
Genre: AU Compliant, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Canon Compliant, Dark Magic, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Post Star Wars the last jedi, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Rebels, a/b/o in later chapters, extended Universe Compliant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-04-03 18:28:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 55,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14001987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reylogirlforever/pseuds/Reylogirlforever
Summary: This story starts before The Force Awakens.Rey is left as a child on Jakku. She dreams of an older boy that helps her survive. The dreams stop until someone made an offer too vile to speak of and a dark figure brought justice for her. Somehow she knows, he did it for her.Just as the Dowuton thug was about to touch her, his enormous body flew through the air. His massive hands grasped his throat and he was choking and sputtering. Rey sat up and tried to get air.She felt Ben’s fury, she heard his thoughts. It was swirling and dark. How dare he touch her, try to desecrate her. He would not touch something as sacred as that. That was his to touch, his to worship.“She is mine!”Then Rey saw him. He was wearing his black clothes and cape, she knew now who he really was, the dark figure from her dream, Kylo Ren, but she didn’t care. He snapped the Dowuton’s neck with the force and threw him far into the distance. When she calmed, he put his cloak around her and made her a promise.





	1. A Childhood Lost

“Stay!”  She screamed.

“Come back!”

“Be quiet girl!” Unkar Plutt had said as he dragged her away by the arm.

  They had left her. Left her, left her, left. She was all alone. Why had they left her? What had she done wrong?

There must be something wrong with her. But what? Why, why why? She could have tried harder, done something better, been a better girl. But they had not even given her the chance to, they just flew away and left her, without even saying goodbye.

Tears streamed down her face and sobs racked her tiny body. She cried and cried until there were no tears left. Unkar Plutt told her she would sleep in a tent in the village with the others and she would do what he said, if she wanted to eat.

She had tried to talk to some of the others, but found them to be cold and cruel. She could not stay in the village because the other slaves had thrown rocks at her. They didn’t want to share anything with her, so she was completely alone.

Later she would understand that each person had to fight for every little thing that they had on Jakku; a tool, a scrap of clothing, a crust of bread.

   She wandered out into the desert, hopelessly. The fight had gone out of her. She was worn out, exhausted from the mental anguish, even though she was just a little girl. Unkar Plutt had said if she brought him back parts and scraps from the dead ships in the Jakku sand that he would feed her. Well that was something.

She came upon a ruin of an At-At. It was getting dark and she had no light, so she stayed inside the foot mechanism. She was so hungry, she hadn’t eaten for a few days and had been too upset to even think about it.

But now as she settled down, she was really feeling it. Her stomach hurt and she felt weak and dizzy.

She made a little wallow in the sand and tried to sleep, curled up in a ball like a sand rat, but the tears and the questions came again and she cried and cried until she cried herself to sleep.

That was the first night she dreamed of the boy. He was older than her, tall with dark wavy hair and soft brown eyes. In the dream, she saw herself sleeping and the boy kneeling next to her stroking her hair and rubbing her back, saying everything would be okay and that he was with her and would watch over her.

The next morning she felt a little better. She decided to take some of the At-At parts off to give to Ungar Plutt. He finally gave her some portions to eat.

  
The At-At became her home. Every night she would scratch a mark on the wall to count the days and usually cry herself to sleep. When things seemed really bad, like on the days she didn’t have any portions and she was so hungry, or on the nights that were really cold and she shivered, the boy would appear in her dreams. He would teach her how to make a stove for a fire, or where to look for little plants that grew in the desert that she could eat.

He was always a comfort to her, made her feel that she wasn’t completely alone and told her that one day, when she was grown up, he would come for her.

After a while she would just pretend that he was there with her, in the At-At. She would imagine that her left hand was his hand and her right hand was hers. She would then hold her own hands, so it was like he was holding her hand. She would stroke her own hair and imagine it was him comforting her, like in her dreams.

She would imagine her Mother saying “we’ll come back for you sweetheart” even though she knew she had never said that, and tell herself that they had left her for some good reason, one she just hadn’t known about, so they must be coming back for her as soon as they could. After a while, she began to believe it herself.

She hugged herself. It was much easier then thinking that they had never loved her. They would come back someday, and she would wait for them. It was the only comfort she had. This was her life.

  
One night, she dreamed of the boy and it was different. She saw him sleeping on his mat and someone held a light sword over him. That person was going to kill him. “Nooo!” She screamed in her sleep. The boy awoke and he was afraid.

She felt his fear, and his sense of confusion at being betrayed. Was this someone he had trusted? No, this was someone he had loved like a family member.... A light sword flew across the room into his hand and he blocked the other sword with it. Then he waved his hand and the whole room flew apart.

She called out to him in her sleep.

“Ben! I’m here. Don’t be afraid.” Ben. Was that his name? Yes.

“Ben!” But a darkness had fallen over him and she couldn’t get through to him. And that darkness was terrifying.

She awoke with a start, crying and drenched in sweat. The next few times she dreamt of him, he was crying out in pain. Someone was hurting him.

He didn’t look the same. She would call out to him.

“Ben!’ What can I do to help?

“Ben I’m here.” As soon as he would notice her there, she would wake up. She had felt that same darkness every time she dreamed of him and those dreams became nightmares for her.

Then the dreams just stopped. She missed the good dreams of Ben for awhile, because those had been the only thing keeping her alive, keeping her sane, but as time went by eventually she forgot all about those dreams and the nightmares.

She hadn’t cried herself to sleep in a long time. She had grown stronger she guessed, she must not have needed the tears or the dreams anymore to survive.

  
Years had passed. The marks on the wall covered almost all available space. Rey was older now. She had figured out how to live on Jakku. She had grown used to the solitude, used to the loneliness.

She had tried to learn everything she possibly could from the different species that lived there about spacecraft, scavenging, different languages and found that she was good at fixing and building things. She knew the other slaves now, but found it was better to keep to herself out in the At-At. She didn’t like how some of the men had started looking at her and liked the fact that no one knew where she slept at night.

  
Now she avoided going to the village when other people were there. But she had to go today if she wanted to eat, she was out of portions. She felt some of the men staring at her as she waited in the line. She just wanted to get her portions and leave.

When she approached Unkar Plutt to trade for her portions, he made her an offer.

“Rey, if you agree to work in the pleasure tents as a skin girl, I will pay you triple the amount that these parts are worth, say 100 portions for the first time. Tsarid Ra’ has offered me that much for your first time.”

“You’ve never been with a man right? The first time is worth a lot of portions. Then later you will be paid a lot more than you make scavenging for me and you will only have to work at night, you can sleep all day and I will buy you pretty things to wear and you can take a bath in real water every day if you want to. It’s a fair deal.”

Rey turned beet red. She thought fast, quickly grabbing the portions that were on the table for her parts before he could snatch them back and spat out

“ I’d sooner starve to death than do any such thing as that!” She sprinted across the street for her speeder as he called out after her,

“That can be arranged!”

She sped off into the desert her mind reeling and tears spilling down her face. She was angry and sad and afraid at the same time, her emotions were a cyclone in her head as she sped mindlessly through the desert. When she was far from the village and sure no one had followed her,she stopped under a lone desert rock formation.

She climbed off her speeder into the shade of the rocks. How dare he think that of her, about her, that she would sell herself, become THAT (she couldn’t even think the word, the idea was so abhorrent to her), just to survive.

  
Did he think so little of her? Wasn’t she worth more as a person? The tears just flowed out of her, tears that hadn’t been cried in many years, since a time when there were only a few hundred marks on the wall of her At-At. What if he did withhold portions from her? He could and would do it. Would she be forced to do that?

She was breaking.

  
A foreign thought entered her mind.

“I will hunt down and kill anyone who tries to touch you.” It was angry but somehow familiar. Was she losing her mind now? She was hearing voices. She felt a strong presence full of anger and possessiveness.

She stumbled and fell back against the rocks. She felt dizzy and put her head between her knees, breathing deep breaths to clear her head. The voice. This time it sounded more tender.

 “Don’t be afraid. I told you once that I would watch over you Ad’ika .” Then it was gone. The name he called her seemed familiar. Was it Mandalorian? Stars. She was going mad! She took some water from her canteen and splashed her face.

She wanted to be home. She climbed on the speeder and headed back to her At-At. She had enough food to last a month maybe two if she was careful with it, thirty three portions. That would give her some time to figure out what to do.

Upon returning home, she prepared her small meal and felt better with the food in her stomach. Sleep came with difficulty. Her mind was still whirling. She tried to think about her imaginary island in the middle of a vast ocean.

When she finally slept, she dreamt of a dark figure full of fury and anger. Somehow the anger was for her and for what had happened today. He was angry because she was hurt by the vile creatures that lived on Jakku.

She felt strong emotions swirling around him, his sanity on a string. Then she saw Tsarid Ra’. He was an off-worlder, he didn’t live on Jakku. He was the one that made an offer for her.

She didn’t know what planet he was on, but she saw the dark figure towering over him. Tsarid was groveling, begging for his life.

“Please Lord Ren, don’t kill me. What did I do?”He held up a crackling red light sabre and said:

“This is for what you _thought_ you could do to Rey. How dare you think that she could ever be your whore!" He said that last word with such venom, he was shaking in anger, face red and distorted, all the veins popping out on his neck.

“She could never be that. Her innocence is _mine_ to take, not yours. She will be an Empress one day, ruling the galaxy at my side. She _is_ mine.

“Now you will die for even thinking of her in any other way.” He lifted the Sabre and lopped off Tsarid’s head with such violence that it flew out of sight.”

Rey was horrified at witnessing the murder, but there was a tiny part of her that was too mesmerized to care. There was a part of her that was excited the way it felt knowing the figure was doing this all for her, because she deserved more.

She was strangely intrigued. A heat began to grow inside her, her heartbeat started to match the dark figure that had swiftly executed justice for her.

He did it for her. Somehow she was certain of it. Why would he?

Something sprang to life inside her, something that had either been waiting, or had been asleep. But this was just a dream right? At that thought, the masked figure looked right at her, and she awoke with a start.


	2. Hunting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girl. The one he had connected with so many years ago when he was still Ben Solo, he felt her calling to him amid swirling emotions. Someone had caused her pain and they would pay. He was going hunting, hunting for her. It felt good.

    The girl. He was feeling her again, feeling her light. Even in her distressed state, she was pure light, a balm to his own dark soul. He basked in her presence for a moment before Her emotions came pouring through. He had forgotten how soothing her light was to him.

He got lost in his memories of her for a moment. He thought about the first time he had seen her. It was in a dream. The girl was cold, she was hungry, she was so very sad. She had been left there, she was all alone. She had no one.

For some reason, the force kept showing him this poor little thing and he was feeling all of her emotions as if they were his own. Ad’ika. Little one. She couldn’t have been more than 5 or 6 years old. She had three little buns in her hair. He could see that she was huddled in the sand, somewhere in a desert.

He felt sorry for her. He had known loneliness too, although a different kind, the kind you could feel even when people were around. He knelt down and rubbed her back, petted her hair.

“ Sleep now, Ad’ika, everything will be ok.”

He felt so peaceful whenever he dreamed of her. He would have to speak to Master Luke when he woke up.

He barely had that thought when he felt Snoke probing into his mind.

“Young Solo, do you know who that girl is?’’ He asked. His voice was like a reptile snarling, and it sent a cold chill down his spine.

“Get out of my head!” He had yelled just a little bit too desperately.

“Ok, I’ll just go ahead and tell you, I’m sure would want to know how important she will be to you later...he paused dramatically, she is your future queen after all. Yes, she is a child now, but when she is of age, you will take her from where she hides, and she will be yours.”

“If you join with me, I will _ensure_ it.”

Images of the girl as a beautiful woman standing at his side, flooded his mind. He was older and more powerful and she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.....

”The Jedi will never let you have her. It is forbidden to them. It would be forbidden for you.”

“But _I_ can make it happen. You are already force-bonded. I have started the connection _for_ you.” He sounded like a snake hissing out the words, then he was gone.

He had taken another look at the girl who was sleeping soundly. She felt peaceful, she was dreaming of him.

   He had awoken immediately. It was still night. He needed to tell Master Luke! But then he thought about it and realized that if he told him about the girl, then he would have to tell him that Snoke was the one to tell him about the force bond and he didn’t want to do that.

But he needed to find out more about force - bonding. Was it safe for her? She was so young. He did not want to damage her mind. He decided to stay distant, unless she were in dire need of him, then he would try to connect, but only in dreams. It worked for a while.

Until the day when Skywalker had betrayed him. In fact, it was the girl that saved him. She called out and woke him up, just in time to block his uncle’s death blow. He could feel the bond then, but he was in shock, so angry and fearful.

He had blocked her out after that. She was still just a child and she didn’t want to risk her experiencing all of that with him. She had her own emotions to contend with. He still wasn’t sure if it would harm her mind.

He had called on Snoke and what happened after that was definitely nothing for a child to see, and it was not what he had expected, nor intended.

He had successfully kept her blocked except for when Snoke had been breaking him, teaching him how to use all of that terrible pain as part of his training.

It was so excruciating that he had subconsciously called out to her and she had briefly felt his anguish. As soon as he realized it, he had shut down the connection immediately. That had been years ago. The bond had been silent until today.

     Today, when she unknowingly called out to him from her own swirling emotions; fear, confusion, pain.

It was Unkar Plutt. He was responsible for making her feel that way. He wanted to make her a skin girl. Tsarid Ra’ had made a bid for her innocence.

Her anxiety and fear were shrieking at him across the bond. She was innocent and untouched, and they wanted to take that from her and _SELL_ it to the highest bidder. The idea of being with a man had scared her, as it well should have.  She would _not_ be demeaned in such a way.

His rage was rising. He balled his hands into fists. He was shaking with fury. But he had to calm down, so that he could try and calm her down. He didn’t know if she could sense his emotions yet. He didn’t think so, but he did not want to frighten her even more than she already was. He took a few deep centering breaths.

He spoke to her mind, as softly as he could, given that what he had just learned filled him with so much possessive fury.

“ I will hunt down and kill anyone who tries to touch you.” His voice had trembled when he said it.

He could feel that he had scared her even more with his own poorly masked intensity. He had never directly spoken to her when she was awake. But he had to try, try to soothe her somehow. He could not bear having her this distressed. He tried again, even softer this time;

“Don’t be afraid, I told you once that I would always watch over you Ad’ika.”

She was still not quite ready, the time had not come for him to take her from that wretched planet just yet, but he would take her early in order to protect her if he couldn’t put a stop to this.

She was hurt, confused, sad, angry. This would not do. How dare those vermin treat her in such a way! Her, His future Empress! She’s mine! Mine. Mine. Only mine. His rage was rising again, the need to possess her overwhelming, almost out of control, almost.

Her emotions were beating at him like waves at the side of a rocky cliff. She was sobbing..how dare ANYONE cause her pain. Kriff! In her mind, she had actually believed that blob Plutt had valued her more than that.

If he had, it was only because he knew that Kylo Ren would be coming for him if she was ever harmed. He had seen to it that he understood that! He probably thought that if he could convince her to give herself up that it would be okay. Ha! What an unintelligent piece of trash, he was.

Oh, he would pay for this, but unfortunately he had to be kept alive so that Rey would be fed until it was time for him to take her. He walked to a panel on the wall and summoned Plutt via Holo. Plutt had been asleep, but snapped to nervously when he saw Ren.

“ Lord Ren. How may I be of service?’’ he said nervously.

Ren paused. He chose his words very carefully.

“What happened today with the girl will NOT happen again. You will NOT ask this of her. Furthermore, because you have spoken of this, others will now try to take her.”

His voice was rising, he was coming unglued at the thought. He took a deep breath to regain control of himself. And he said very softly through his barred teeth;

“ I will hold you _personally_ accountable if anyone touches her, if her innocence is stolen from her, from _me_. You will apologize to her and you will deliver the 100 portions you mentioned to her immediately.”

“But Lord, we don’t know where she.....”

 Ren sent a force choke over the distance, and Plutt was sputtering on the other end of the Holo. Yes, how he wanted to end him now, to make him pay for putting her in danger, for everything. but no. no, he had to wait. Now he would have to check on her regularly to make sure she was safe.

“ Do as I have commanded you or I will know, and you will die.” He said flatly. It was a promise. He cut the connection.

He may have to _wait_ to take out Plutt, but Tsarid Ra’ could be handled right _now_. It would feel so good to take out vengeance for her.

Yes. He was going to die. Die for even thinking about taking from her. Die for thinking he could take what was his.

No one would ever be allowed to harm her in any way. He would see to that, no matter the cost.

He was going hunting ; hunting for her. He was finally able to do something for her, carry out justice for her, to bring her a prize. He would lay Tsarid Ra’s Head at her feet, if he didn’t already know that it would terrify her.

Hunting for her. This kill would be a first step. It felt good.

He opened a Comm. “ Prepare my ship.”

   Oh, how he wanted to just go and sweep her away from there right now. Dry her tears, ease her pain.

She had grown into the beautiful young woman he had seen in the vision years ago. She was strong, she was smart, she was full of glorious light, she was made for him, meant for him and him alone. Mine, mine, mine. A low growl escaped his throat.

The things he could teach her, the prospect of them ruling side by side almost made him decide to go there right now. Almost. He was stronger than that.

He imagined carrying her back to his ship and taking her. Taking her from the planet, taking her hand, taking her lips, taking her body. His own body was responding to that idea even as he was thinking it.

But it was still too soon. They needed more time to connect, for her to accept him.

She didn’t know him yet. She didn’t know what he already knew, that her destiny was with him.

She was so pure and innocent. She was light and warmth.

He would have to proceed very cautiously with her, so as not to frighten her away.

For now, she would have to stay.

    He was no longer Ben Solo, he was Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren and heir to Lord Vader. He needed to be secure in his power before he could go to her, bring her home.

His training was not yet complete. Snoke still held the Throne. All of that would change in time. Until then, he would obliterate anyone or any thing that threatened her.

Today Tsarid Ra’ would be dealt with. The idea excited him. There was a beast hidden inside him, clawing to get out, to get to her. But he couldn’t risk unleashing it just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this, I know formatting is still a bit wonky, but we’re getting there.....


	3. Dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren knows Rey is awakening. He has to approach her carefully, so she will not flee in fear. He has to be Ben for her if he can.

     Rey had seen him make the kill. He hadn’t realized she was there, until he heard her thoughts. She was horrified, but a part of her knew. A part of her knew, that the kill was all for her and that part had liked it.

She was awakening. It was time to start approaching her. He would have to be so careful, careful not to scare her in any way. He would have to go to her as Ben Solo, she didn’t know him as Kylo Ren. The last time he had seen her he was Ben. He could be Ben again for her. Anything for her.

He would have to proceed so slowly, much slower than he wanted to, but it was worth it. She was worth it. Everything that he had done, everything that he had endured had been for the promise of her.

It was starting to happen. He would create a safe place in a force-dream for her and he would explain everything to her. _These were the first steps._ The idea filled him with something he hadn’t felt in a very long time, _hope_.

_________________________________

     She was dreaming. She lay on a bed covered with white petals. The smell was sweet. Gauzy curtains surrounded her, and when she looked up she saw trees? She had never actually seen a tree before, there were branches and leaves, and a soft breeze blew through them, making the most wonderful, peaceful sound.

It was warm, but not scorching hot, like on Jakku. There was a sound of running water. She looked to her right and noticed a hot spring with water trickling out of the wall, down into the bubbling spring basin below.

There were flagstones on the ground, this was somehow a room that was actually outdoors. Someone had left her a tray with brightly colored fruits on it and a pitcher of clear water.

She picked up a fruit and took a bite, mmm it was delicious. Then she heard that familiar voice. It was soft and kind.

“ I’m glad you like it. I had it brought here just for you.”

She jumped at the sound. She felt like she should have been afraid, only she wasn’t.

She hadn’t bothered to notice what she was wearing. She looked down and saw that she was wearing a long white silk gown. It was very simple and very sheer. She blushed and looked for something to cover herself with.

”I’m sorry.” The voice said.

“Your robe is just to your left, if you would like to put it on.”

She found the robe and slipped it on. It was also white silk, but heavier and not so sheer.

“Um, what is this place?” She was starting to feel a little nervous.

" _You are my guest_. There’s no need to be afraid, I’d like to sit with you and talk with you about that. I just wanted to give you some time to get comfortable with your surroundings before I enter the room. (He had actually purposely made it an “outdoor room” with no walls, so she wouldn’t feel confined.) Is it okay if I come in now?”

She was nervous. Her insides felt like they were full of butterflies. Her hands were trembling just a little bit. He could tell she was on the edge of fleeing.

“ It’s ok Ad’ika, I can return another time when you are not so nervous. I only want to talk with you and tell you why you are so precious to me, to explain everything. Please don’t be afraid. I would never want you to fear me.”

“My name is Rey. Why do you always call me Ad’ika?” 

”It’s a name I have always called you, since the first time I saw you, it’s Mandalorian for..”

“Little one.” She completed his sentence for him.

“ I can call you Rey if you like, it’s just that everyone else calls you that, and I wanted to call you by a special name, one that was only between you and I.”

He could feel that she was unsettled by that. Even though he felt like he was crawling toward her knowing him, accepting him, he was still going too fast for her.

“Well ok then Rey, (the name felt awkward coming out of his mouth), I’m going to leave you to relax and we can talk about things another time. Do I have your permission to?”

To his surprise she said, “You can call me Ad’ika, I do like it.”

His heart did a little flip at those words. He was still leaving though. Best not to rush in any way, and to leave on a positive note.

 “ You can stay as long as you like and everything here is all for you. The hot springs are very soothing.” I will see you another time. Until we meet again, Ad’ika”

“Wait.” she blurted out. “I’m always alone. You can come in, but I’m going to sit over there by the tree, not on the bed. I do want to talk. It would be _nice_ to talk.”

Her apprehension was slowly melting away. She padded over to the settee under the tree and sat down. He peeked out from around a wall that was made entirely of flowering purple vines. He struggled to keep his emotions in check. He did not want to mess this up by being too intense, she needed time to catch up with him.

He picked up the tray of exotic fruits and slowly walked to where she was sitting. He offered her the fruit. It was really just so he could pull himself together. It was all he could do to stop himself from running into her arms, and crushing her into a kiss.

Instead, he said “I’m happy you are here.”

He sat down beneath her level, on the ground, so that he had to look up at her and not the other way around. This was a submissive stance, anything to make her feel more at ease.

She was so beautiful to him. Her face was open, her eyes wide and clear of the most intriguing hazel color. Her lips were plump and pink, not unlike some of the ripe fruit on that tray. How he wanted to taste those....but no. Not yet. It would be too much too soon.

So they talked about nothing and ate the fruit. She relaxed eventually and even gave him a shy smile. Her smile pierced his heart with its beauty.

He told her that this was a force-dream, one that he had designed and invited her to and that she could wake up whenever she wanted to and that she never had to enter the force-dream unless she wanted to. There would be no confinement, no making her join him in the dream.

He just wanted to spend time with her there and get to know her better. He couldn’t do that yet outside of the force-dream because of his circumstances, but he hoped to very soon.

Rey thought that he looked familiar. He was wearing grey robes. Were those Jedi robes? She wondered. He was very tall and had very broad shoulders and soft brown eyes. He had full lips and dark wavy hair. She had seen him before, in a dream, in a nightmare. It didn’t matter. Was he the boy that had soothed her as a child? Yes. It was Ben.

She suddenly felt very drawn to him. He was handsome. He reminded her of royalty, like a prince. Why would he be interested in her?

“ So, you have been visiting me in my dreams since I was left on Jakku as a child?”

“Yes Ad’ika, do you remember me?”

“ You helped me build a stove when I was cold and you told me where to find the arrow plants that I could eat, and you stayed with me when I was afraid.”

“Yes.”

“But then you stopped. Why?”

He knew this was an accusation in disguise and he hoped his answer would be enough.

“I didn’t want to, but I was in training, and it was painful. I didn’t want you to share my pain, I didn’t want to hurt you.”

”Share your pain? What do you mean? How would I?”

“ I know this is a lot to take in right now, what do you know about the Force?”

“ I don’t really know much. Isn’t that what the Jedi use to fight with?”

“Yes and no. What is important to know is that we were connected by the Force when you were a child, that Is why I could come to you and teach you in your dreams. That is why, I was afraid you would feel my pain.”

“With this connection, we can dream together and feel each other’s feelings over time. It is something that will grow. That is why you are so very precious to me Ad’ika, I see you and I know you, know the bright light of your soul.

“You don’t know me yet, but you will. Please don’t fear it, or fear me.” He was looking for her reaction intently. She could tell that her response to this was very important to him.

”Ben, I’m not afraid. I could _never_ be afraid of you. You have been with me since I was a child, you always brought me comfort. When I was so alone, you were there for me. I missed you when the dreams _stopped_ , only I thought they were just dreams, something my mind had created, some kind of survival mechanism.”

She reached out for his hand and he gently took it. It was if time stood still and they both had forgotten that they had to breathe. She looked into his eyes and she saw compassion reflected there, she was looking into his soul.

How he hoped what she was saying was true, because she didn’t know him yet, didn’t know the darkness in him. She did not know that his very soul depended on her acceptance of him, even as dark and scarred as it was. He needed her in the same way that the moon needed the sun to reflect light across its scarred surface, for without it, the moon would be in infinite darkness. _He_ would be in infinite darkness without her, that much was clear.

He gazed up into her eyes hopefully, turned her wrist and pressed his trembling lips to her palm in a chaste kiss, and willed them both awake.

____________________________________

Ray woke up. She was in her At-At. What a dream! Why was her heart aching, longing for him, for Ben? He had looked and spoken like a prince. It couldn’t have been what he said, he a force-dream could it? It was so detailed and she had remembered dreaming like that when she was a child.

Just as she had the doubtful thought, she heard his voice in her head:

“It was real Ad’ika, _I_ am real, thank you for being with there with me. I’m going to give you some time to process all of it. I hope we will meet again soon.” Then he was gone.

Ok. Force! She was either certifiably insane, or this was real, _he_ was real. She had believed him to be real once, she could believe it again. His voice did something to her, it soothed her, yet it also made her remember what it was like to look into his eyes. _Those beautiful brown eyes_.

Full of longing and hope, only focused on her, like she was the only sun in the Universe, yet there was a sadness there. No one had _ever_ looked at her like that. He had said she was precious to him. She hoped it was real. She wanted to take his sadness away.

____________________________________

 

The force-dream, it had gone well. She said she wasn’t afraid, she took my hand, she had called me Ben, she looked into my eyes, she hadn’t run from me. This was all he could think about. These thoughts were swirling around his head in a loop.

He would have to stop this or Snoke would pick up on it. He blocked his force signature partially, just enough so that if Snoke wasn’t looking, he wouldn’t notice. Of course if Snoke wanted in, he would get in. The key was to not draw his attention.

This was dangerous territory. He needed to control his thoughts. He could feel her now questioning herself, so he spoke to her mind briefly. He needed to step back and keep a little distance because he could anticipate just how quickly his feelings were escalating.

He had to move slowly, even if every fiber of his being was screaming at him to run to her. He found he was enduring a new kind of torture, waiting, staying away from her, when he was so close to getting everything he had ever wanted. She was like a drug to him, a balm for his soul, and he was becoming an addict.

He would wait. He was stronger than this. He went off to train. It would do him good. He tried to proceed with his day normally, without thinking of her. It was more difficult than he could have ever imagined.

Later on, when he could stand it no more, he looked in on Her. She was sleeping soundly in her At-At. Even there in Her dirty scavenger clothes sleeping on her worn cot, she looked beautiful.

He couldn’t help but wonder what she was dreaming about and well, he had lost all self -control where she was concerned, so he looked in on her dream. She was sitting on a beach, staring out into the sunset. She was all alone and she was wishing that he was there too.

Tears ran down her face. Her loneliness asaulted him. He was not going to allow her to suffer this way, even in her sleep, so he joined her in the dream. He approached her slowly. Her hair was loose and blowing in the wind and she wore a gauzy white dress. Her shoulders and feet were bare.

He reached for her hand and she gave it.

“Ad’ika”he breathed. He kissed her knuckles. “You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.”

She blushed. He kneeled down, so that his larger form wouldn’t frighten her, his hands were on her waist. They seemed impossibly large next to her small frame. He gazed up at her, and drank in each feature of her face, her brow, her clear eyes with their fringe of long lashes, the curve of her nose, the fullness of her lips, the freckles on her skin.

“I am suffering every moment that we are apart. You will never be alone again. You don’t have to be afraid. Let me be your comfort.”

He hugged her waist and lay his head on her bosom. Stars, he was touching her this way and she was letting him. He ran his hands up and down her back. He could hear her heart pounding in her chest.

She was still nervous, even in her own dream. She wrapped her arms around his neck. He looked up into her eyes, searching for her reaction.

“Thank you for being here.” she said breathlessly.

His arms were around her.

“Let me love you.” His mouth was trembling when he said it. It was not a command, he was hoping she would say yes.

“Please.” She gazed down at him, but didn’t say anything. Words failed her.

She looked a bit shocked when he said the word _Love_. He pulled her down onto the sand with him and she didn’t resist. He positioned himself behind her, careful not to let her feel the physical proof of his love.

He could have taken her right then and there in her dream, given in to the passion, but that’s not what this was. This was about just being there for her.

He let her face away from him. He wrapped his arms around her, one around her neck, his thumb caressing her throat, the other around her waist, and he just held her, caging her in front of his larger form so that she was comforted, but she had space.

It was a possesive posture. She was _his_. She had not fully accepted it yet. But she would, in time. She clung to his arms and sighed. He placed a kiss on her temple.

”If this is how my dreams will be from now on, then I never want to wake up.”

They stayed that way watching the sun go down over her dream island until she woke up. She now knew he would be there. He would be there to chase away her solitude, she would never be alone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are getting closer, this is not going to go the way you think....


	4. Hunting Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey grow closer. Rey searches for answers. Ben searches for answers.

She awoke peacefully from her blissful dream. The dream of the beach, of Ben there with her, holding her, chasing the solitude away. His arms around her, making her feel so secure.

He wanted to Love her, and had gently kissed her temple. Love? Had she ever been loved? The thought of it made her pulse speed up. She felt happy. When was the last time she had been happy? Had she ever been? She couldn’t remember.

As much as she wanted to, she just couldn’t sleep her life away. What would she do today? She had enough portions to last her, so she didn’t have to go scavenging. But there was not a lot else to do, so she put her gear on, grabbed her canteen and headed out on her speeder.

Maybe she would check out Tuanul and visit Lor San Tekka. She had heard rumors that he knew about the Force, and he was an old man, not likely to be looking at her “that way”. It was about a two hour ride from Niima Outpost.

She arrived at the little village, a loose arrangement of sand huts and tents, with a central well. She parked her speeder an approached an old woman who was gathering water at the well.

“Water young one?” She offered.

  
“Yes please.” She knew it would be rude to refuse.

The woman dipped her canteen into the bucket for her and handed it back to her with a toothless smile.

“What’s your name child?”

“I’m Rey.”

“Haven’t seen you here before Rey. Are you looking for a husband? My grandson Tayon is looking for a wife. Let me look at you, turn around, yes, yes, good birthing hips....”

”Um no mam, I’m looking for Lor San Tekka. I’d like to speak with him. Do you know where he lives?”

”Yes of course, we all know each other here. His hut is the second one there. But Miss Rey, come back and see me when you are done. “Alright Um. I’m sorry, I didn’t ask your name.”

“ I’m Saya Duree.”

”Ok Thank you mam.”

She approached Lor San Tekka’s hut. She could see him sitting at a small table eating a meal. Before she could say anything, he said

“Come in Rey. I’ve been expecting you. Come, have some lunch with me.”

Rey peeked her head in under the beaded drape.

“Um. Hello. How did you know my Name?”

”Well Rey, I am no Jedi, but I do get insight from the Force. That’s how I knew you were coming. Look. I already had a plate waiting for you, so eat, eat.”

”Thank you” She was still trying to wrap her head around what he had just said.

“So little one, is there is something you want to ask me about, yes?”

”Well yes, some of the others said you knew about the Force, I can see now that they were right. He smiled. Um. I really don’t know how to begin.” It didn’t escape her notice that he called her “little one”.

”Let me help you.”

He closed his eyes.

”Ah yes, you have dreamed of a boy, now a man and he appears to be a real person contacting you through a force bond of some sort, and this is scary and you want to know what it all means..”

“Well yes, exactly. So, you read my mind just now?”

”Well, not really, but the force can show me things and I had a dream you were coming to ask me about this. So Rey, like I said, I am no Jedi, but here’s what I can tell you: There are only a few known ways that someone can share a force bond. The first and most common, is that someone bonds to you upon their death. I don’t think this is how yours happened, because this person is alive.

The second way is between Jedi and Master or Sith and Master. Again, not you.

The third way is that the Force Wills It, as in you are two halves to a whole soul and you are each other’s destiny. This is extremely rare. If this is how it happened, you will be together when the Force wills it.

The fourth way is through Dark Force Magic. It involves a ritual where your souls are joined with each other and with force beasts that exist purely in the force. The wielder of the magic would have to have blood from you, the other person and essence from at least one Force beast.

“Force Beast?”

”I only know of one type that remains, and that would be something like a Loth Wolf, which can be corporeal or exist within the force itself. And the amount of dark-side power it would take to do this, would be immense, so it would be done by a Sith Lord, or other High Master.”

If this is how it was done, it would still be a mere introduction to the connection, the rest of the connection would have to grow with time, as the two would become stronger in the force. And again, this would be extremely rare. There are probably only a handful of Masters left that would be capable of this.

“There may be other ways, but if there are, I wasn’t shown what they were in my dream.”

Rey sat there silently, letting it all sink in. Well this was not what she expected to hear.

“That’s all I can tell you, and it’s more than most Jedi know about Force-bonding.”

”How do you know all of this?”

”I had an old friend that was a Jedi, but he is gone now. His eyes looked far away as he remembered his friend sorrowfully. 

“I was given more information to share with you from him in my dream.” He returned to himself, brow furrowed.

“So Rey, what are these dreams about? Are they scary or tender or something else?”

Well, she was blushing now,

”I guess you could say they are tender.”

”Are you fearful of the boy, or do you want to see him.”

”I want to see him.”

”Has he said that he will come to you in person?”

”Well, yes but he said there were circumstances preventing him at the moment.”

Lor San Tekka closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Well, I don’t have any answers to that.” He did feel uneasy about the man she was bonded to, but that was all he saw.

”So you think I am really Force-bonded?”

”From what I’ve seen, and what you told me, I would say yes. As to how or why, only the Force knows. It seems you will never be alone again. It could be a great blessing. But I must warn you to keep all of this to yourself. Of course, I would not tell anyone and you should do the same.”

Lor San Tekka stood up.

“Come and visit me sometime if you would like.”

”I’d like that.” she said and said goodbye.

She stepped out and scanned for Saya. She came hobbling out of her hut...

“There you are Rey. Here, I wanted to give you a shoot of my Arrow plant for good luck.”

”Thank you Saya, but you really don’t need to do that.”

”I want to, it also helps with bruises and cuts. Just squeeze some of the juice from the fuzzy leaves onto it and it will take the pain away and help it to heal. ”

”Oh. Ok. Thank you so much.”

”May the Force be with you.” She said and Rey waved to her as she rode off on her speeder.

Once again, she found herself riding on her speeder with her thoughts whirling. This bond was either destiny or the result of dark force magic. What could that mean? Ben had said the connection would grow and that’s how Lor San Tekka had described the bond when it was created with the magic.

So did that mean that’s how it happened? Or was that common to the other way as well? Kriff, she should have asked. The thought unsettled her. And if it could be created using magic, then it could probably be undone my force magic. She couldn’t handle that thought.

Anxiety swamped her. Then she heard his voice:

“Ad’ika, Is something wrong? You seem unsettled. Please don’t be. We can talk about it tonight.” And then he was gone.

Stars, why did his voice make her feel so warm and why was it that she couldn’t wait until tonight when they could be face to face in their dream? She sped up so she would get back before dark.

 

____________________________________

  
Kylo Ren had a bad day. He had to deal with Hux, which was always unpleasant and he was distracted during training today. He made up some lame excuse about eating some bad sea fowl the night before. Kriff! He was going to have to get himself together, get his head together. All he could think about was her.

He couldn’t risk anyone else noticing his distraction, as Snoke would look into his mind, and he couldn’t have that. He prepared for bed, slipped into his silk sleep pants and settled in.

Hmm. Where would he want this Force-dream to be this time? The outdoor room was nice, but he sensed that the bed had made her nervous. So no bed. She seemed to like the ocean so he would create a Gazebo on the beach with a large lounger for her to awake on. And he would provide clothes that covered her, so she wouldn’t feel self-conscious. Everything else was easy to come up with.

He wanted her comfortable with him, she had been unsettled today. He closed his eyes and called her into the dream.

 

___________________________________

  
Finally it was time to sleep. She closed her eyes and the Force -dream was there, opened her eyes in a beautiful gazebo on her special beach. She was reclining on a padded lounger and she had a soft robe on over her gauzy strapless dress.

Ben was already there. He was sitting in a chair next to the outdoor fireplace, where a fire was crackling. He was so very handsome she thought, with his dark wavy hair and his broad shoulders, as she gazed at him.

He got up and reached for her hand. Stars, he had beautiful eyes and they were focused solely on hers. She was already feeling breathless.

“Would you like to walk on the beach with me?” He asked. She took his hand and he kissed the top of it, before tucking her arm under his shoulder. She was dwarfed next to his larger form.

He held on to her waist, his hand covering most of her hip. It felt like he wanted to keep as little space as possible between them. He rubbed her hip bone with his thumb absentmindedly. Did he not know what that was doing to her? Maybe he did. She felt protected, cherished.

“Ad’ika, What was troubling you today? He asked as they strolled along the shore, listening the sound of the surf and the feeling the sun on their skin.

“Ben, it was really nothing.” She looked up into his face. She didn’t want to ruin this moment.

“It was something, little one, because I felt your conflicted emotions.”

He stopped walking and and pulled her arms around his waist as he wrapped his arms around her. There was no distance between them, their bodies were pressed together. Stars. Her heart was racing.

”There is nothing that you have to keep from me, there is nothing that would ever make me not want you. Can you not see that your comfort and safety are my utmost concern?”

She let that sink in.

“Yes, actually I _can_ feel that.”

“So tell me then, so I can relieve your fears, and banish all this anxiety you are feeling.”

His eyes were soft, he was speaking to her gently as he knelt down, the wind wildliy whipping his hair into his face, so she wouldn’t have to keep looking up at him. He was being so tender with her, it made her heart flutter.

“Ok. Well, I went to Tuanul today to see  Lor San Tekka.  I heard that he knew about the Force and I wanted to ask him about the force-bond.

Ben tried to keep his face neutral and let her finish, but this clearly upset him his body tensed at the mention of it. 

“ He said that there were only a few ways we could have been bonded, either through the Force itself or through some Dark Force Magic. It made me afraid to think that this might have been started by someone evil. He said there were probably only a handful of Masters powerful enough to do it.”

“This doesn’t feel dark, it feels wonderful, and I can’t imagine not having you in my mind and here with me now like we are, so I guess I was thinking that if the bond was put in place by someone else, that it could be taken away too.”

She swallowed hard, trying to quell her rising emotions. Saying it out loud was a lot harder than just thinking it.

“I don’t want to lose you Ben, I don’t want to lose this.” Then the tears came and she clung to him tightly. Fisting her hands in his hair.

“Shhh. Ad’ika, it’s alright. I’m here. I’m always going to be here. We are meant to be together, this is right and beautiful and I finally feel whole with you, like you are the missing piece of me. Look at me little one, look at my face.”

She looked down into his face, the tears still flowing.

“I’m never going to leave you. I will always be here no matter what. Do you not know how _important_ you are to me?” No, that really wasn’t an adequate word anymore for what she meant to him he thought, as he choked back a sob of his own and he had to look away for a moment to regain his composure.

He was struggling keep his intensity in check. “Do you not know how much I _LOVE_ you!” He was trembling, and he swallowed hard. There was no denying it now.

“Oh Ben. I love you too. So much...I didn’t even know that something like this existed, the way you make me feel...” She was interrupted by Ben’s lips pressing into hers. It was a gentle kiss, a slow kiss. An intoxicating kiss.

She felt like she was drugged and flying, it was hard to breathe, hard to think, there was nothing but Ben, nothing but her. Her heartbeat was matching his. He picked her up and carried her back to the gazebo.

She liked being carried, being cared for, he could feel that. She could feel more of his emotions now, they were matching hers. He reclined on the chaise and moved her under his shoulder, so that they could hold each other and watch the sunset.

They gazed into each other’s eyes, matching hearts pounding, wondering at this, this beautiful bond. The robe had to go. Her bare skin was pressing against the gauzy robes he was wearing.

His hands caressed her neck and shoulders he ran his hands down her arms, he spanned her waist. He couldn’t get enough of touching her. He was drinking in the feel of her skin. She just placed her palm over his heart where his chest was bare and let him touch everything.

She could feel how comforting this was for him, for them both. It was like he wanted to be sure she was really there.

“Ad’ika, he breathed into her lips, you are all I ever wanted. Stay with me forever. His lip trembled and he continued, Please.”

She sighed and whispered, “Always.”

 

_____________________________________________

  
Ben woke up. He was still feeling blissful from the force-dream. He didn’t want to get out of his bunk, he wanted to lie there and dream of her all day. Unfortunately, he couldn’t do that.

He needed to think about practical matters, and it was hard to think with her on his mind all the time.

He arose and stepped into the fresher. Of course, the evidence of his time with Rey was there and it was a bit painful. He could take matters into his own hands he thought, but no. He didn’t want to sully her image with that. He sighed and turned the water knob to cold. That snapped him out of it, at least for now.

He dressed and tried to meditate.

  
Peace is a lie. There is only Passion.

  
Through Passion I gain Strength.

  
Through Strength I gain Power.

  
Through Power I gain Victory.

  
Through Victory my chains are Broken.

  
Strange, the Sith code wasn’t helping him at all today. He felt that it was fueling his desire to claim her through his passion, when every fiber of his being was telling him to wait. It was getting more difficult to do that. He switched to the old code, the one that Luke had taught him, automatically and without thinking about it :

  
The Force shall free me.

 

There is no emotion, there is peace.

  
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.

  
There is no passion, there is serenity.

  
There is no chaos, there is harmony.

  
There is no death, there is the Force.

 

He Inhaled deeply, he exhaled slowly, he repeated it, until he was one with the force and his mind opened.

 

That was better for now, his mind was clearer. Now he could think about what he needed to do, how he should proceed. He didn’t like her going around and asking strangers about the Force. Well truly, he really didn’t like her being around _anyone_. 

That was his job. He would be her _only_ teacher, now she was fearing aspects of their bond, and if he’d have told her himself, she wouldn’t be afraid. He would have to speak with Lor San Tekka to make sure he understood that she was _his_ to train.

That still didn’t solve the problem though. He had seen her mind and he knew that she was tenacious and would try and seek as much knowledge as she could about the Force, the bond, all of it.

She still hadn’t fully opened to the force, fully awakened, which is why she couldn’t respond to him when he spoke to her mind. Which meant she would be traipsing around Jakku looking for answers, and there were no answers there. All she would be doing would be putting herself in danger.

He had to make her see that the answers lie with him and him alone. She was his to teach, his to train, _his_. He didn’t know how much longer he would be able to tolerate knowing she was in danger with him not there to protect her _physically._

He was sure there were people looking for her right now. In fact there were at least three. Panic swamped him for a moment at that thought.

He could just go get her and hide her away somewhere safer, but then he would be faced with his other big problem, the fact that he was Kylo Ren.

She had a fear of the dark side, but she didn’t know he _was_ the dark side. How would he ease her into accepting that? If she were to be his Empress one day, she would have to accept it. She had said she loved him. Would that be enough?

On to his biggest problem and that was Snoke. He _would_ find out, it was only a matter of time. What could he do about that? He was still no match for Snoke. He would have to think of a way to present her, without baiting Snoke. For now all he could think to do would be to reinforce his mind block and hope that it would be enough to buy him more time. He had to come up with a solution soon.

Today when he went to training, he thought about the people looking for Rey and his anger and power rose easily. How dare they even think... that they could touch her. Touch what was his, try to take what was his. They were not worthy to be on the same planet with her. He would deal with them later. He thought of the many ways in which he could dispatch them and his dark power surged around him. There would be no faltering today. Training went extremely well. He felt strong.

 

Tomorrow he would go hunting. Hunting on Jakku.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hold on tight, we’re almost there...


	5. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is Awake

It was time to sleep. He thought maybe the outdoor room would be in order now, maybe the hot springs tonight, and the twilight woods. Yes.  
He invited her into the dream. Rey awoke wearing the white silk, in the outdoor room. She was lying on a blanket spread out on the soft grass. It was already twilight there, and an enormous full moon was rising over the trees.

Fireflies danced in the air, the breeze smelled sweet. All manner of night blooming flowers were opening up, some of them luminescent. Ben was sitting up beside her, waiting for her to wake. She smiled up at him and reached for his hand. He bent down and hissed her forehead. He helped her to sit up. Stars, she was the most beautiful thing in the Universe. The moonlight shining on her skin, and the expression of love on her face. He couldn’t breathe.

“I thought you might want to take a walk in the woods tonight.”

“Yes, it’s beautiful here Ben, thank you for this.”

He pulled her to her feet and held her hand. They strolled through the woods until they came to a clearing overlooking a ravine. The full moon was enormous, and seemed to take up the entire night sky from this vista. Ben bent down and gently kissed her lips. She reached up to get closer and kissed him back.

There was nothing more important in the Galaxy than the feeling of love and contentment they shared in that moment under the moonlight. Ben kneeled and looked up into her eyes.

“Rey, Ad’ika, I love you with all my heart, with all my soul, there are things that I need to tell you and things that we will have to work out. I don’t know how to make this easier for you.”

He was nervous, his voice trembling.

“We can never be parted. I need you as I need air. Know that I will hunt down and lay to waste anyone or anything that tries to harm you or take you from me. You are mine. There can be no one else. I know you feel it too. Say you will be my wife. Say you will stay with me forever.”

He paused, hopefully awaiting her response. He couldn’t breathe.

”Please.”

He was begging her, his eyes wild with love and desperation.

He offered her a necklace that had been his grandmother’s and placed it around her neck. She turned to him with fresh tears streaming down her face.

“Yes Ben, _always_.”

 _“I_ love you. You have given me so much, more than I could ever have hoped for.”

They kissed again under the full moon. The forest hummed with life and a gentle breeze was washing over them. They were both feeling intoxicated by the soft kisses. Ben pulled her down onto the grass and placed kisses on her eyelids, cheeks, and nose, and trailed them down her neck to her collarbone. He was devouring her with kisses. Rey sighed and floated in the euphoria of it all. Then something changed.

Something inside her wanted to know what his blood tasted like and it wanted to know now. Wait. What? Where did that come from? Her pulse sped up. It became difficult to breathe normally. She turned the most intense shade of pink as she lay there trying to get a grip on what was happening to her.

The thing inside her was fully awake and it wanted him. It wanted him, it would not take no for an answer. Ben heard it. He felt it. Her beast was trying to claw its way to the surface. It was coming for him. Well that was a good thing, but Rey didn’t know what was happening and it was scaring her to death.

The beast inside him roared. He had to leave now, or this was going to be a disaster. “I’m sorry he stammered, I have to leave, now...” He was all but running away. To his shock she ran him down and flung her arms around his neck.

“Please, she panted, what is this?!” It’s like I don’t have control of my own body.”

“ Ad’ika, I had no idea this would happen. I’m so sorry!”

“We either need to give in to it or put some distance between us right now. You don’t have control. It’s your force beast, it’s bonded to my beast, a Loth Wolf. Most people don’t have this problem, but our Loth Wolves recognize each other now, and well, they want to mate. So I need to go now, while I still can.”

”NO!” She growled. Her eyes changed to a glowing pale blue color. Her beast had won.

“You are mine!” It was not an entirely a human voice, it was a growling animal sound.

She bit his bottom lip and licked the blood off of it. That was it. He couldn’t hold the beast any longer. It roared to life. He was no longer in control. His eyes flickered red.

It was all a blur after that.  She ripped his robe off in a single swipe of her hand, leaving an angry scratch across his chest.

He was licking her neck, biting it to mark it, mark her as his, for all to see. It was bleeding, he was lapping her blood, smearing it on his face.

He was kissing, nipping, licking, his way down her throat. She was grinding and rubbing herself against him and little whimpers and crying noises came from her.

He was getting images across the bond, everything she wanted from him. 

She wanted to feel his weight on top of her, to be crushed under his larger form. Wanted to feel him holding her down, his hands digging into her flesh. She wanted his seed inside her. Wanting it so much. Take him all, nothing else would make her complete.

A feral howl escaped his throat. There would be no more waiting.

__________________________________________

 

The humans fell awake.

 

What the Kriff was that! Rey awoke and sat straight up. She went to look in the mirror, and saw a bloody bite mark on her neck. She was wearing the necklace. She was still panting.  She had completely lost control of her body, It was terrifying.

Kriff, Kriff, Kriff. She started to cry. It had all been too much. She remembered everything about the dream vividly, especially the part where her body had betrayed her and all she wanted to do was taste his blood, to lose herself in him, to crawl under his skin as if that were possible.

Even that couldn’t decribe the degree of closeness she was seeking in that moment. But it was like it was something else, something inside of her wanting to do all of those things, like it was only a part of her that was reacting. The Loth Wolf? And Ben had been trying to flee because he was afraid of it.. Afraid that he would do something that she wouldn’t be able to forgive him for and he had run from her.

This was so confusing. Did he want her or did he not? Was there something wrong with her? She had no one to get the answers from. And she still couldn’t ignore what her body was still doing right now. Throbbing down there, moisture seeping through her underclothes...Think about something else, think about something else.....

It was just a dream, just a dream...But she knew better. She ran out into the desert sun. She ran and ran, she ran until she was completely breathless and exhausted as if she could somehow outrun _herself_.

Then she heard the sob, it was a mournful desperate sound. It was Ben. He was so disappointed, so sad... angry...She instinctively reached out with her mind...

 ____________________________________________

He sat straight up on his bunk. Kriff! Kriff! Kriff! He should have thought this through, he should have known she would have had a force beast to match his, bonded to his. The beasts existed purely in the force, so they actually could manifest more easily in a force-dream. He should have thought of this.

He had scared her, scared her away. For all of his careful planning, his attempt to make her feel safe with him had failed. _He_ had failed. He had probably just lost her. Lost her forever, his dream shattered. And it was all his fault. The dark was swirling all around him.

A sob escaped his throat. He was a broken man. Everything he had ever done, everything he had endured, he had done to make their dream come true. And now it would never happen. It was all for nothing. The pain he had endured, the horrific things he had done to gain power and favor with Snoke so that he would grow strong enough, all for the promise of her.

It couldn’t be over, it couldn’t be. He would rather die than go on knowing he could never have her. She was his, his, his, she had to be his.. He curled himself into a ball and wept for the first time since he had stopped being Ben Solo.

He felt like he had when they had sent him away, they had discarded him, he was too dangerous so he had to go, they were afraid of him, so they sent him to Uncle Luke. He was re-living it all in his head and he suddenly felt like he was a child again and losing everyone he loved.

  
Then he heard the voice. It was very soft.

“Ben? Can you hear me?”

He sat straight up. Eyes wide with disbelief. The bond must be getting stronger. _She_ was getting stronger if she could speak to his mind...

“Ad’ika, I can hear you. Are you alright?”

“I could feel your sadness and disappointment. Please don’t be so disappointed in me. I’ll try to get used to it, it’s scary, but I’ll try.”

“No Ad’ika, I could never be disappointed in you, it’s not that. I, I..”

He was stammering incoherently . He ran a hand through his hair. He did not know how to put what he was feeling into words.

“ I failed you.”

his voice faltered.

“I wanted to make you feel safe with me and I failed. I should have known that you would have had a force beast to match mine, but I never considered it, and I failed you. I just don’t want to lose you. We’re just beginning and I don’t want to let you go.”

His voice cracked revealing his emotions that were pouring out uncontrollably.

“Let me go?”

“I just thought that you would run from me now or shut me out, now that I had terrified you.”

Tears were flowing freely now. His voice was broken and he whispered with trembling lips:

“But please don’t. Please don’t. Please. Stay with me forever. Please.”

  
“ _Always_  Ben.”

”I agreed to be your wife.”

”I’m not running from you, I am running toward you.”

”I don’t want to be alone anymore. I’m willing to try. Yes, it’s scary, but I trust you. I can feel your intentions for me. I know you love me. I know you won’t hurt me. I love you.”

He could feel her warmth coming across the bond. It made him want to weep even more, but not out of sadness, out of relief. It wrapped around him like a warm blanket, wrapped around his heart. He had not known how cold he had really been until he felt the intensity of that healing light in that moment.

“I know you are trying to ease my discomfort with things. It’s just when my body, uh.. I felt like..” She was stumbling over her words.

“No, you don’t have to explain. I know what you felt, because I felt it too. Ad’ika, you are all that matters to me. Please know that.”

“ I know. I’m getting really tired, I don’t think I can talk more right now...” And then she was gone.

He needed to go to her _right_ now. He knew this had blown her mind and she was suffering the after effects. He thought about how beautiful she had looked in that white silk, how pure she was, how her own beast had risen and although it terrified her, that she was willing to try. She was running _toward_ me, she had said...

He was going. He had already intended to go to Jakku anyway. He had a plan. He headed out to his command shuttle. He would be there shortly. 

 

___________________________________________

  
Rey came back to herself. She was sitting atop a large sand dune. How long had she been there? She thought only a few minutes, but the sun was much lower and she realized how thirsty she was. She was exhausted.

She had never tried to reach out to Ben before when she was awake, and it took all of her energy. She had run out into the desert carelessly, without bringing water or any of her gear. She headed back toward the direction of her At-At on shaky legs.

It was just over the next few dunes. She thought she saw someone behind her out of the corner of her eye, but it could have just been her eyes playing tricks on her. She hurried as fast as she could to get back. She hurried into her At-At and drank a whole canteen of water.

She heard a noise outside, maybe someone _had_ followed her. Her stomach dropped, she reached for her staff. Ben instantly felt her fear.

”I’m coming Ad’ika, Stay inside.”

But just as she heard him say that, Lorius Kal, an enormous Dowuton thug grabbed her from behind and drug her out into the sand. She fought him as hard as she could, but he weighed six hundred pounds and she was no match for his size. Rey screamed and fought. 

“Ben!”

He pushed her down and held her by her throat.

“Oh, what do we have here?”

She was having a hard time getting air. He spread her legs with his other hand. She kicked and fought, but it didn’t stop him.

“I hear you were on the maiden-bid, well let me just check and see what we have here, to be sure.”

Just as he was about to touch her, his enormous body flew through the air. His massive hands grasped his throat and he was choking and sputtering. Rey sat up and tried to get air.

She felt Ben’s fury, she heard his thoughts. It was swirling and dark. How dare he touch her, try to _desecrate_  her. He would not touch something as _sacred_ as that. That was _his_ to touch, _his_ to worship.

“She is mine!”

He looked the Dowuton in the eye as he slowly suffocated. “You will _never_ touch her because you are going to die now, for putting your filthy hands on her, for _distressing_ her with your vile presence.” He was shaking with rage and spitting out the words.

Then Rey saw him. He was wearing his black clothes and cape, she knew now who he really was, the dark figure from her dream, Kylo Ren, but she didn’t care. He snapped the Dowuton’s neck with the force and threw him far into the distance for the vultures to eat.

She was in shock. He ran to her and wrapped her up into his arms.

“Ad’ika are you alright?”

She just buried her face into his neck and wept. He rode out the sobs with her and he spoke softly to her. He rocked her like a baby in his arms.

“Ad’ika, I’m here. Everything is going to be alright now. Shh. Just let it all out. I love you. Yes, little one, I’m here. You are not alone. No one will harm you ever again.”

When she calmed, he put his cloak around her and made her a promise.

“No one will harm you ever again. You will never have to worry about what you will eat. You will never be lonely. You will never want for anything. I will lay entire planets at your feet. I am not asking you. This is how our life will be.”

He then picked her up and carried her to his command shuttle. Rey just let him carry her. She was so tired and so much had happened that she couldn’t even wrap her mind around it. He carried her across the threshold. 

“Come my love, let me take you from this barren place, away from danger and sorrow. Let us begin our new life together. Let me at last take you home.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. I know. The humans fell awake. If anyone really wants the smut, it’s written, you’ll just have to request in comments. Maybe I’ll add an alternative chapter.....But sometimes clean/dirty can be just as hot... let me know what you think..


	6. Grandmother’s House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben takes Rey home.

Ben carried Rey onto the shuttle. He could not wait to be off of Jakku. His command shuttle had quarters onboard for long-range missions. He carried Rey to his bed and gently settled her. He covered her with his cloak. “Ad’ika, I’ll be right back, I just have to punch in the flight sequence.” He was speaking very softly, she was very pale and still in shock. So much had happened to her today, he was worried about her.

He quickly and adeptly punched in the coordinates to Naboo. As soon as they left the atmosphere he returned to Rey. She was softly sobbing into the pillow, curled up in a ball, tremors wracking her tiny frame.

“Little one, please don’t cry. Talk to me.” He rubbed her back, smoothed her hair and waited. He sent his love for her across the bond, tried to soothe her that way, but she was numb and still clearly in shock. She looked up at him with the eyes of a frightened animal, on the verge of fleeing. He decided what to do then.

“My love, I’m going to put you to sleep. You need to rest your mind so you can process everything that happened today and be at peace with it. It’s just going to be you, sleeping in a comfortable bed and no worries, just total relaxation. I love you.” He waved his hand and she fell into a deep sleep.

While she slept he examined the bruises that Lorius Kal had made. Oh my love, I’m so sorry. If he had only gotten there sooner... this was all his fault. These thoughts swirled through his mind. He was glad that vile creature had died at his hands. He would never stop protecting her, never allow anyone to bruise her ever again....

He found a bacta patch, and cut it to fit over the bruises. He didn’t want her to see them and be reminded of what had happened and of what could have happened, had he not arrived at that very moment.

Kriff! There were bruises on her thighs too. He covered those as well. How close that creature had come to defiling her, his betrothed. The thought of it filled him with rage. But he had to remain calm, just in case she was now sensing his emotions. He wanted her to rest. She _needed_ to rest.

He went over every inch of her body, checking for injuries and found none. She was filthy from being dragged through the sand. He got a cloth and some water and washed her as best he could.

She seemed to be dehydrated, so he hooked up an IV from the med kit. He found one of his black under garments, discarded her filthy clothes and dressed her in his clothes. Something about that made him feel satisfied.

There would be plenty of clothes for her at his Grandmother’s Palace. He combed her hair and braided it. He watched her sleep for a long while and then lay down beside her and whispered his feelings to her. He poured out everything that he hadn’t yet said, or that he didn’t have the courage to say yet. He hoped those thoughts would penetrate her dream to let her know how cherished and loved she was.

He hoped that she could accept him, now that she knew his true identity, they hadn’t spoken about it yet because of the attack, but they would have to. He sent her peace across the bond, kissed her eyes, her cheeks and her lips and then curled his body around hers and, he too slept.

 

___________________________________

Rey slept. She was in a plush bed with pillows and blankets piled on top of her. Everything was white. A white puppy cuddled with her on the bed. There was a gentle breeze and soft sounds of the ocean. She heard Ben speaking softly to her, expressing his love for her. It melted her heart. She knew he was washing her and taking care of her while she slept. She was at peace.

They slept for a long time. Ben woke when the proximity alarm blared on the shuttle. They had reached the Atmosphere of Naboo. He slipped behind the controls, and sent a Comm to his people there. He instructed everyone to clear out, he didn’t want the usual greeting at the shuttle pad.

He needed food for himself and a guest ready in the Master Suite and some clothing for Rey. He wanted everything set up when he arrived and no staff in between the Launch pad and the Master Suite. No interruptions, he would summon them if he needed anything else.

He punched in the approach sequence and went back to see if Rey was awake. She was still out. He removed the IV and the bacta patches. She had healed nicely. He wrapped her in his cloak to cover her and carried to her new home, to their home. It was the most beautiful and remote property he owned.

Everyone had cleared out as requested and he carried her to his Master Suite. He tucked her into his bed and watched her sleep. So beautiful, he thought. The bed was covered with gauzy drapes and an ornate lilac colored coverlet, that matched the lilac drapes. Lilac had been his grandmother Padme’s favorite color and he had decided to keep everything just as she had left it.

It gave him comfort to know that his family had roots here, to know that his grandparents had slept in this room. His grandparents had been deeply in love but Anakin had lost her when he became Darth Vader. He hoped he was not making the same mistake. He was already Kylo Ren, she knew and she hadn’t tried to run from him.

She had to accept him, had to. He could not go on without her. She would accept him, she would. He had seen their future. He was trying to reason it out, to convince himself. He would have to wait until she woke up.

The food was ready on the small dining table on the balcony. It had been a long time since his last meal. He sat silently watching her sleep and ate.

He picked up his holopad and sent a message to Hux saying he would be traveling for a while to obtain an artifact that he needed. It was not an uncommon occurrence for him to do so. Still, he hadn’t been summoned by Snoke for a while, which also was not uncommon, but it made him uneasy.

For now, he set that thought aside. In this moment, his only concern was Rey. She had been out for well over 16 hours now. Just as he had that thought, her lashes fluttered and she woke up. She yawned and smiled up at him.

“Ad’ika, I’m glad to see you awake. How do you feel?”

“Ben. Where are we?”

This is my Grandmother’s Estate on Naboo, one of my homes. It’s in the lake country. I thought you would like this one the best. Let me help you sit up. She stood up on wobbly legs. He helped her to the fresher. She clung to his side as she got her balance.

She went in and closed the door. He was speaking to her through the door. There are towels and soap there for you if you want to take a bath or shower and there are clean clothes for you as well. “Ok.” Was all she said. He would give her space to do whatever she needed to do.

____________________________________

When she came out she was wearing a gauzy white dress, not unlike the one she had worn in the force-dreams, her hair was loose and she was barefoot. She took his breath away.

“Ad’ika, you are truly something from my dreams. Come, sit and eat something and we can talk.” She still hadn’t said much.

“It’s beautiful here. I have never seen so much green.” The trees and flowering plants were a wonder to her. He pulled out a chair for her and asked her what she liked to eat.

 “ I really don’t know, all I’ve ever had to eat was portions.”

That realization shocked and angered him a bit, but it made sense.

“There will be no more portions for you. Let me select a few things that won’t disturb your stomach then.”

He put a roll and some fruit on her plate. She took a bite and sighed.

“This is amazing.” She was savoring the flavor of the food, never having such fine bread.

“ I’m glad you like it. How are you feeling, my love?”

“I’m feeling much better. Thank you for taking such good care of me. Ben, I can feel your apprehension. Yes, I know you are Kylo Ren, I remember everything, but you are always going to be _Ben_ to me.”

“I felt your sadness before and I didn’t know why then, but I do know why now. You have done terrible things and you are tied to the First Order. I also know that in some strange twisted way, you were doing those things so that we could one day be sitting here together. It changes nothing. I don’t care who you used to be, I care about who you will become. I still love you, of course, _always_.”

“Little one, I can’t tell you how relieved I am to hear you say that.”

Relief washed over him and across the bond. He let out a deep breath. It was like he had been holding it and didn’t realize it until that moment. He took her hand and kissed it. He looked like he wanted to cry.

“What I am struggling with, is the Loth Wolves. That was pretty terrifying. Can we keep them from coming out? I don’t like feeling so out of control.”

”Yes, I can train you on how to control your beast. They exist for us purely in the force, so it’s easier for them to manifest in a force-dream, but here it takes strong emotions, pain, or danger to bring them out. They can help you if your are in danger, or a in battle situation. We can work on that.”

”You are growing strong in the Force Ad’ika, you are now able to speak to my mind, as I can speak to yours. I can train you and help you grow even stronger. We might also want to work on some physical training if you like. Because of who I am, there could be people that would try to take you from me. Of course, I will never allow that to happen.”

”I had wanted to wait to claim you until I had more power, but I could wait no longer, with so many threats to your safety where you were. I still serve the First Order, I am still Master of the knights of Ren, and I still am apprentice to the Supreme Leader. One day I will rule the galaxy with you at my side, I have seen it, but until then I am under the Supreme Leader. He is far stronger than I. But one day, I will exceed him.”

”Ben, I don’t care about power, or ruling the galaxy, I just want to be with you. I just want us to be _together_. If you are serving Snoke, then how are you here? Did he give you this place? Will he allow you to be with me?” Her anxiety was growing.

”Truly, I don’t know what the Supreme Leader will do. He is a cruel creature and pain is his weapon. If he knew how much I love you, he might try to take you away. Right now, I am blocking his mind, so that he doesn’t know about us. I don’t know how long I can do that, but I don’t want to risk you.”

”That is why I want you to stay here when he summons me back.”

She didn’t like that idea at all. Dread was blooming in her mind, she was afraid. Afraid of what Snoke could do.

”Ad’ika, I can feel your thoughts. I will figure something out. Please don’t focus on your fears. No more talk of darkness.”

”As for this place, it is mine. It was my Grandmother’s home. She was a Princess of Alderaan and a Queen through her own right here on Naboo.”

”My grandfather sacrificed everything to be with her, they were so in love. I wouldn’t hesitate to do the same for you.”

He kissed each finger and worked his way up to her neck, whispering in her ear:

“You know that I will always keep you safe, always protect you, you are precious to me, you will have everything and want for nothing.

“Ben, the only thing I want is to be with you. I don’t want to be alone again, even if it is in this beautiful place. Please don’t leave me here.”

“Ad’ika, I’m not _leaving_ you anywhere, but you can’t come with me until I can address the Supreme Leader. I wish I were in the position now, to overthrow him, but I am not. I would have waited to come to you until I had, but you were in too much danger on Jakku, and well, I was already in love with you. I can’t bear to be apart from you either.”

“The Force will present an opportunity soon, I am sure of it.”

He knelt down next to her to get closer. He took her hand and placed it on his heart. He looked into her eyes and said:

“This heart is yours. It beats _only_ for you. It will never belong to anyone else. I love you Rey, truly and deeply.”

Stars, the way he was looking at her melted everything. She noticed that her heartbeat matched the pulse under her palm. This time, she initiated the kiss. She tasted his lips and explored his mouth, it was a dance of tongues. Time stood still.

The bond was open and it intensified everything. He sent his love across and she met it with hers. Where did one stop and the other begin, they could not tell, and it was right. So right. They were both breathless.

He pulled her down onto the floor with him and sat her on his lap, so that he could burn a trail of kisses down her neck. Kriff! He had to stop this or he might lose his self control and take her right there on the floor and that is not what he had intended for her first time. He wanted to marry her first, and show her body the worship it deserved.

No.

“Ad’ika, as much as I love kissing you, we have to stop.” He was trying to convince himself.

She looked up at him. She looked as drugged as he felt, intoxicated by the intimacy. Her hair was a mess, her pupils blown wide, and her lips were swollen from his attentions. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“Why? I rather like kissing you...” she smiled coyly. She was not going to make this easy.

“I like kissing you too, but if we don’t stop right now, I might lose all sense of reason and take you right here on the floor.”

That made her blush. Beautiful. He stood and helped her up.

“You are so beautiful.” He really couldn’t believe how beautiful she was himself, and just how _much_ he wanted her. 

“Come, Let me show you your new home.”

They strolled arm and arm through the estate. It had high vaulted ceilings, marble floors and magnificent views of the lake below. There were several servants there that bowed and addressed her as “My Lady” and it was a bit surreal. Was this not a force-dream? Ben smiled down at her at that thought.

He spoke to her mind : _No my love, this is what you fully deserve._ He ended their stroll on a beautiful balcony that overlooked the crystal blue lake. There were carvings in the railings and vines that climbed the walls. There were trees shading it and urns with flowers spilling down the sides.

“This is where my Grandmother married my Grandfather. I was hoping you would want to get married here.” He didn’t look at her, he was afraid she had changed her mind. He didn’t deserve this, deserve her.

She stepped in front of him so that he had to look at her.

“ _Really_? You still think I will change my mind? You forget, I can sense your feelings are now.”

She reached up for him but instead he picked her up. She let out a surprised squeal and wrapped her legs around his waist as he rained kisses all over her face.

“So do we get married today or tomorrow?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come soon.


	7. The Princess Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The making of Princess Rey

“Say today.”

“Today”.

”Oh Cyare, you make me feel.so...! He couldn’t say the word. Happy?

He spun her around and pushed her up against the vine covered wall, trailing a million kisses down her throat. He was smiling. When was the last time he had done that? He honestly couldn’t remember. It didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was her. The bond was wide open and it was flooded with blinding light. He reveled in it.

“Come Ad’ika, there are preparations to make.” He decided not to put her down, but shifted he so that he was carrying her.

“Ben, I can walk.”

“I know you can, but I want to carry you. “You are mine. _Mine_ to carry, Mine to _kiss_ as I please.” He planted one on her forehead.

She knew protesting would be futile, and she actually loved this deep down inside, so she let him carry her back to the suite. He lay her on the bed and indulged in a few more kisses.

He sat down next to her.

“So, do you have anything special that you would like for our wedding?”

“Yes.”

“Well tell me, so I can make it happen, anything you want.... anything at all and it’s yours.”

”I want to marry you.”

”He raised an eyebrow.”

“Truly, is there nothing you want?”

“Yes.”

“Well what is it you want? I want to make this special for you, you are only getting married _once_.”

“I want to _marry_ you.”

“Ad’ika, why are you toying with me?” He sighed.

“I want to marry you too, but we can’t just stand there naked and exchange vows.”

“Well. We could...”

“No. ok. Let me try something else. Would you like to wear my grandmother’s dress? You already have her necklace.”

”I never thought about it. Would it make you happy if I did?”

“ _Very_. Ok, that’s settled, we’re not naked, we have clothes.”

“Ben, I did think of something.”

“Yes, Cyare?”

“So I am _Cyare_ now?”

“Yes.. you know you are my beloved..” He was looking at her with those puppy eyes.

“I would like to get married in the moonlight. When you asked me, eventhough it was a force-dream, it was so beautiful.”

“Done. I have to take care of the arrangements. Stay here, and the servants will be coming in to help you prepare for tonight. Please allow them to, they are here to help you and they know what I like. I’ll be back in an hour or two.”

She looked up at him anxiously, not wanting to do anything other than stay there with him on the bed.

“ _Ad’ika_....” he teased her, she was being petulant after all.

“Alriiiiiight, see you later on. I love you.”

“And _I_ you.” And he walked briskly out of the suite. Was that a spring in his step? He looked happy. She had never seen him like this. So light and free.

  
A few moments later an army of handmaidens invaded the suite. They curtsied and referred to her as “My Lady”.

“Please call me Rey.”

“Yes, My Lady” they all said in unison.

She threw her hands up in the air.

“Truly.”

The oldest handmaiden stepped forward and addressed her.

“My Lady, you are going to be a Princess after you marry Lord Ren this evening, you will always be referred to as My Lady, or Your Highness. It is not permitted for us to call you anything else, it is not fitting for a lady of your position. Lord Ren would never allow it.

“Alright, I can see what you mean. (She knew he would insist on proper titles)

“What is on our agenda for today then?”

First we’re going to the bathhouse, then we will put up your hair so that it will be ready for tonight, then we will make adjustments to Queen Amadala’s wedding gown for you, if we need to. Then we will serve you a light meal and do your nails. Later Lord Ren will join you for a massage and afterwards we will return to dress you and fix your hair.

“Oh, thank you... I’m sorry, what is your name?”

“I’m Trayka, My Lady.”

”Thank you Trayka.”

“How long have you been serving here Trayka?”

“I was born here, My Lady, My Grandmother served Queen Amidala when she lived here, and my Mother served Princess Leia when she was here. She was rarely here and left the Estate to Lord Ren.”

”You’re not a slave are you?”

”Oh no, we are well paid and brought up and trained to serve the family from an early age.”

“If it’s not to bold for me to say so, I have never seen Lord Ren like this, he seems so much lighter, like a burden has been lifted from him. I am glad. He must truly love you.” She smiled widely.

“Alright, ladies, bring her things, we are going to the bathhouse”

“I didn’t know there was a bath house.”

“It’s lovely, I’m sure you will like it.”

They walked with her down one of the flagstone paths to a smaller outbuilding. She was surrounded on all sides by handmaidens.

The bathhouse housed a warm spring. Stained glass panels on the roof, reflected different colors into the pool. It was beautiful. There were fountains that came out of the spring wall that made soothing water sounds, much like a running stream would. The pool was encased in brightly colored tiles and there were Jasmine Vines and other fragrant plants blooming inside. It smelled wonderful.

”Alright My Lady, go ahead and step in.” Trayka pulled her robe off of her shoulders.

“Take off your underthings, you don’t want to get them wet.”

Rey blushed. This was a bit _intimate_. She hardly knew these people and here she was naked in front of them. Ben was right there in her mind, in an instant.

“ _What is it, Ad’ika? I can feel your embarrassment.”_

She sent him the situation through the bond.

 _“Cyare, this is normal for someone of your status. Try not to be nervous, they have done this a thousand times. You look beautiful, by the way.”_ Then he was gone.

Trayka picked up on it.

“Ladies, let’s give her a little privacy, she’s new to the bathhouse.” They all turned away as Rey stepped in.

“No need to be nervous My Lady, we are all ladies here. We’re going to help you wash, it’s perfectly normal for us. You will get used to it in time.”

They washed her with fragrant soap on soft sea sponges. They started on her back, to help ease her into it. They washed her hair and applied a conditioner to it that made it shiny. By the time they were done, she had relaxed quite a bit.

They prepared a raised table for her to lie on and let her cover herself with towels. They put all manner of creams on her face and painted it with clay. Then they wrapped her body in seaweed, only it smelled nice.

“This will help your skin to feel nice and soft. Then we’re going to remove some of that hair.”

”Wait. What?”

”It is usual for ladies to remove the hair from their bodies, not their head.”

“Oh. Ok.”

A little while later they unwrapped her and she went back to the pool to rinse off. She was already becoming more comfortable with her own nudity.

She lay back down and they put some sort of hot goop on her legs, which was fine until they ripped it off.

“Ouch!”

  
Ben was right there again, _“Ad’ika, are you alright?”_

“ ** _No_**.”

Kriff, she was in some sort of pain..

_”I’m coming to you....”_

“Ben, wait. You don’t need to come, they just ripped out my hair, and it hurt!”

“ _Ohhhh_. Alright.” He really didn’t want to know. He was gone.

Trayka came around so she could see her face and took her hand.

“It only really hurts the first time, and then you get used to it, and it won’t hurt so much next time.”

She was looking down into her face, it was very motherly.

“It is kind of how it is the first time you lie with your husband, It may hurt a little, there may be a little blood, but the pain is brief.”

Rey was a bit shocked at her telling her this.

“Trayka, you can tell, I’ve never _been_ with anyone?”

“My Lady, I just guessed because you were so shy about being naked, also, I know Lord Ren, I can see how much he respects you.”

“What if I don’t please him?”

“Your first time is the greatest gift you could ever give to a husband, I am sure this alone would be enough to please him. I have seen the way he looks at you and how he’s changed, if I may say so My Lady.”

”Thank you, Trayka, I’ve never had anyone to talk with me about this.”

”Well then, is there anything else you would like to ask me?”

”Um, well, I’m pretty sure I know how everything works. But I wasn’t too sure as to whether or not I would need something to prevent pregnancy.”

“If you don’t want to have a baby right away then you will need the implant, if you want to get pregnant then do nothing and let the force take its course, but this is for you to discuss with your husband, it’s not my place to say anything. But if you decide on the implant, you will need to let me know before the wedding.”

”Thank you Trayka. I appreciate your assistance and advice.”

They finished waxing her and they walked her back up to the Suite.

The dress was waiting there for her. It was beautiful and fitting for a queen. She didn’t feel like she deserved to wear it, her - a lowly scavenger. Only a few days ago she was huddling in the desert sand like a sand rat.

_“You will be a princess after tonight. You do deserve it. All of it.”_

He really needed to stay out of her head right now...she smiled despite herself.

The ladies slipped the dress over her head and began pinning it in in places. Others brushed her hair and rolled it up on rollers. Another painted her fingernails. She just stood there and let them all scurry about.

When they were done, she donned her robe. Stars, this was tiring.

“Trayka, do I have time to take a nap? I’m feeling rather tired.”

“Would you like to eat something first?”

”Yes, I’ll just have some fruit and then I’d like to rest for an hour.”

”Yes, My Lady”.

Rey put her robe back on. The ladies painted her toes while she ate. Then she asked everyone to leave and lay on the bed.

She fell asleep quickly. She dreamed of Ben with their beautiful dark-haired twins, he was so enamored of them and played joyfully with them. They were about three and he was tickling one and the other was up on his shoulders, they were all laughing. It looked like she was pregnant again. Seeing him so happy made her heart do a little flip, even in her sleep. She felt happy. The Force was showing her this for a reason. There would be no implant.

When it was time for her massage, Ben woke her with a kiss.

“Have a nice nap?”

“Yes, and a good dream too.” she said drowsily.

“Oh, what did you dream about?”

She was still half-asleep. Her eyes were closed.

“You and our beautiful twins. They have your hair and you are so good with them.”

“So, no implant then?” His heart raced at the idea of her heavy with his babies inside her....

She opened her eyes and looked up into his.

“No implant.”

”Cyare, just when I think I couldn’t possibly love you more, you surprise me again. _Babies_ it is.”

He jumped on her playfully, and kissed his way from her head down to her toes. She was giggling when the masseuses came in.

“Time for our massage. I think you will enjoy this.”

They held hands and gazed at each other as they recieved their massages and spoke to each other silently across the bond. When the massage was over, Ben left her.

“It’s time to get ready Cyare. The sun is going down. The next time we are in this room together you will be my wife.”

He smiled at that thought and left her to her handmaidens. There wasn’t much for Ben to do to get ready. He had his Grandfathers Robes cleaned, showered and brushed his teeth and hair. He thought about his father and mother for a moment and wished things were different, a part of him wished they were there to see him get married. It was a sentimental thought, it made him sad for a moment. Would they even be there to see their grandchildren?

_“Ben, is something wrong? You’re sad. What is it?”_

“It’s nothing that I want to talk about right now. Hurry and get dressed!”

 _“You have no idea what they are doing to me...ouch!”_ A handmaiden pulled a roller out a little to roughly.

_“If I survive the dressing part, well get married tonight...”_

It lightened his mood, _she_ lightened his mood.

“Thank You Ad’ika.”

He felt better. He put his father’s gambling cubes in his pocket.

  
Rey had the dress on. It was stunning. She had them remove the top overlay so that it had no sleeves. It was lacy and beaded all the way down the dress. It was Trayka’s idea.

Just then a butler knocked on the door. Lord Ren has sent a wedding gift over for the princess. He handed Trayka a red velvet box, tied with a red satin bow. Trayka handed it to Rey. She had never received a gift before. She was just gaping at the box.

“Open it My Lady! Let us see!”

She untied the bow, it was too pretty to discard, and opened the box. Inside was an ornate choker. It was encrusted with diamonds. Rey just about fainted when she saw it. She started to cry.

_“So you like it, Cyare?”_

“Ben. It’s too much...”

” _Nonsense. It’s a mere token, compared to what you mean to me.”_

“Thank you, Ben, I’ve never recieved a gift before. I love it and I love you.”

“No more crying My Lady. We haven’t done your make up yet.”

“Ok.” She pulled herself together.

They put the choker on her. It looked stunning with the sleeveless version of the dress. Now, they were powdering her face, painting her eyelids, and coloring her lips. She let them. When they were finished, she didn’t recognize herself in the mirror.

“You look stunning, My Lady!” The handmaidens all fawned over her.

Her hair was full and loose, and her make up accented her eyes and lips and the dress and choker truly made her look like a princess.

“It’s time now, My Lady.”

Trayka sent the other ladies out of the room. She took Rey’s hand.

“How are you feeling?”

”Like this is all a dream.”

”Are you ready? Is there anything else that you would like to ask me, anything else you need?”

”No Trayka, Thank you again for being so kind to me. I am ready.”

”Then I will leave you now to be married to your Prince. He’s right out there on the veranda waiting for you.”

She smiled and bowed and left the suite, closing the doors behind her.

Rey’s stomach dropped. She was suddenly _very_ nervous. Ben was there immediately.

“ _Ad’ika, don’t be nervous, its just me. I am waiting right outside with the official. Please come out here so we can be wed at last.”_

She took a deep breath and walked onto the veranda. There were torches lining the walkways. The moon was right over the lake and it cast a blue glow over her skin and dress and the lake sparkled like it had been covered with diamonds. A the night air rustled in the trees and made shadows dance on the flagstones. Someone was playing soft music on a flute in the distance. Wind chimes tinkled in the breeze. There were night blooming flowers brought out and they smelled sweet. She paused, she wanted to take it all in. Ben had seen to all of this. For her.

  
Ben gasped when he saw her. His bride, his, his at last. He really didn’t deserve someone as beautiful and filled with light as she was. She was pure light. She was glowing in the moonlight, the diamonds on her neck twinkling. She looked like a Fairy, she was so luminescent, his Princess, his Rey, his. She was the most amazing creature he had ever seen.

He trembled in awe as she approached him. He held out his hand to her and she took it. Her eyes were so clear and full of love. Love for him. How could that be? He reached across the bond, because he was too emotional to speak.

_“Ad’ika, I have never seen anything in the entire Universe as beautiful as you.”_

She blushed.

“Ben, you are all that I want, all that I need.”

She thought about how he had filled all the empty spaces in her heart. A happy tear rolled down her cheek.

The official cleared his throat, they were silently staring into each other’s eyes for a long moment.

“Are you ready to begin?” “They both nodded, never taking their eyes off of each other. It was all a blur of words, until the official said: “I now pronounce you Husband and Wife.

When their lips touched and they kissed or the first time as husband and wife, they felt the Force move, as though it was also joining them together in a new way. It felt right. The missing pieces that had been Rey and Ben were now completed, filled in, whole. The bond was wide open and they were closer than they had ever been within it.

Their breathing and heartbeats matched. Their thoughts became one. They felt so much love and contentment and overwhelming peace. When had they ever had such peace before? Tears streamed down both faces. Let it stay this way, don’t let this moment end. Stay with me forever. Always.

The Officiant quietly excused himself as their kiss continued on for a long time. How long, they didn’t know or care, they had forever. When their breathing became too difficult and their hearts were beating too fast, their hands trembling too much, they broke the kiss. “Stars, Ben.” Rey was breathless. Her eyes were wide, her pupils blown.

“Cyare. Riduur. Wife. What you do to me...” He was all but panting.

He swooped her up into his arms and carried her to their suite, kicking the door open. He lay her down on the bed. Good, they had put the white petals down, just as he had asked, and kept it dimly lit by the candlelight. He gazed down at his bride. My wife. Vhey Riduur. Mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay thirsty my friends...


	8. Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Wedding night. Smut Alert. If you are under 18 or a recovering porn addict, or someone who is avoiding smut, proceed to Chapter 9. It will not affect the overall story. You have been warned. Explicit depictions lie ahead...

Mine, he thought.

“Ben” she breathed.

He was kneeling at the side of the bed softly kissing her hair, her cheeks, her neck..

“Yes, my love?”

“I...” she was completely breathless, her body on fire.

“I know, you don’t need to use words.”

“Let’s just get these cumbersome clothes off.”

He threw his tunic off, leaving him bare-chested. He drew her to his chest, and nibbled on her ear as he unfastened the back of her gown. His skin smelled so good, she thought, like a forest fire. He quickly pushed the top of her gown down and released her corset at the same time, so she didn’t have time to think about it too much.

He pulled her to his chest. He could feel her soft skin, her breasts pressing against him. She sighed. The contact of their bare skin together was intoxicating. They stayed this way for a long while, just savoring the heat of each other’s skin. He ran his hands all over her, rubbed her back. What a gift she was.

He laid her back down and pulled the rest of her gown off. He was surprised to learn that she hadn’t been wearing any under clothes. She was completely naked, lying atop the soft petals save her diamond choker. It glistened in the soft candlelight.

“Cyare, I am going to make love to you. I want to ensure that you understand, that I wish to worship your body in this, to show you how precious you are to me, that your body is sacred to me. There is no rush. There is nothing to fear. You are completely safe with me. I wish only to give you pleasure.”

He sent his reassurance across the bond, and she could feel his loving intent. He lay down beside her and wiggled out of his trousers. She didn’t look at him, she was still too nervous and shy. They had time.

He kissed her head, then her cheek and lingered to slowly and very tenderly tasted her mouth. The bond flared, it was blinding light, there was no beginning or end to it.

“Touch me, Ad’ika, don’t be afraid.”

She ran her hands down the hard plane of his chest, around his shoulders, down his muscled arms. Those arms. He was so solid and strong. She couldn’t touch him where he really wanted her to, not yet. Were they actually speaking out loud, or was this the bond? It was hard to tell.

He ran his hands down her neck, over her abdomen, before lightly smoothing them over her breasts. She jumped at the sensation, when his thumbs brushed her nipples.

“It’s alright my love. Just feel. Feel how much I love you, feel how good it feels to be touched. You are so beautiful. These will feed our babies one day. This is so right, let me give you this small pleasure.”

His touch became a little firmer, as he rolled her nipples between his fingers. She relaxed a little. It did feel good, made the throbbing down below more intense. He kissed her collarbone and worked his way down to take a pink bud in his mouth. He lightly sucked and nipped.

He moved lower to her navel, kissed his way down, caressed her skin with his hands. Lightly drug his nails across her flat stomach. Goosebumps followed.

“You are so precious to me. This is where you’ll carry our babies.” He kissed her belly. “One day soon, I hope.” He smiled up at her.

She was running her fingers through his hair, looking at him with adoration. It was hard to breathe, to get enough air.

He rubbed his thumb across the tight curls of her mound. She tensed. He stopped.

“My love, I now ask your permission to claim the most sacred part of you. The place that no one has ever touched you, the biggest gift you could ever give to me. Say that you are freely giving this to me.”

“Yes Ben, all for you, anything for you. _Take what is yours_. You are the first and you will be the last.”

She was panting, her body wanting, wanting something that she needed. She didn’t know what it was yet, but _she would_ he thought. He would see to that.

He smoothed his hands down her thighs and she opened her legs for him. He could feel her nervousness, so he just petted her mound with his palm a few times before opening her to reveal the tender bud. He lightly brushed his thumb across it. She felt a jolt go through her entire body. She sucked in her breath. Panic gripped her for a moment.

“Are the Loth Wolves coming? I feel like I’m going to lose control again...”

”No Ad’ika, it’s just you and I, let me pleasure you, don’t be afraid. Just feel. I love you, let me make you feel good.”

She was entirely too tightly wound, he needed to bring her at least once before he could join their bodies. He took the bud in his mouth and rolled it on his tongue. It only took a few strokes and her orgasm hit them both.

“Oh!” She yelled out in surprise. He was feeling it all with her, but held on, he wanted to last.

He moved and pushed a curled finger inside to keep her flying, then two. She was creamy and pliant under his touch.

She was still taking heaving breaths with unseeing eyes, feeling the new pleasure, when he moved quickly to thrust inside her, to break her maidenhead. There was no time for her to be nervous, no time for her to think about it and he had made it so quick, that she only felt the pain for a second. Before she could even react, he pulled out and saw her maiden blood spill onto the white petals. She was his. Finally. All his. No one before, no one after.

Mine. mine, only mine, at last, he thought, as he gently entered her again, this time with slow deliberate strokes. He wanted her to know that this was not going to hurt, it would always feel good. He reached around and rubbed her bud slowly as he continued his slow invasion of her temple. She was so small and tight, he had to really work to get inside.

Her head was thrown back, her eyes closed, he could feel her pleasure with his own.

“Ad’ika, look at me.”

He stopped moving. That got her attention.

“My wife, my love, we are one. Do you see how perfectly we fit together? We were always meant to be like this. Thank you for this gift Ad’ika. You are mine.”

He kissed her lips, nibbled on her jaw as he moved again. The bond swirled around them. Love you, mine, so good, let this never end... Which one of them was sending it? It was both, together as one thought, one action.

She gazed at him as he continued his slow deliberate thrusts. The love on his face was so raw, it made a tear run down her cheek. The pleasure was building again and she tightened around him.

Kriff. He didn’t think she could get any tighter. He hardened even more. She bucked her hips up uncontrollably to meet his. A low moan escaped her throat.

He grabbed her hips, digging his fingers into her flesh, and sped up, pinning her in place. He was mindless with the feeling of her pinned underneath him, of him inside her. He couldn’t hold on much longer. She was close.

His breath was ragged. He wanted to wait for her. She looked into his eyes and said :

”I want to carry your babies.”

That was all it took. He exploded, shooting hot ropes of his seed inside her. He moaned and threw his head back, tears streamed down his face. As soon as she felt the heat of his seed inside her, she came, clenching and milking more from him. She cried out, her entire body trembling as the orgasm shook her. She clung to his neck as they spasamed in pleasure together.

Yes. This was what she wanted, what she needed. It seemed to last for much longer than should have been humanly possible, as they were suspended in ecstasy within the Force.

They didn’t know how much time had passed, but when they came down, they were both hungry. Food had been brought in for them earlier and they had dinner in bed together. Ben introduced her to all kinds of food, things she never had on Jakku. He liked to see her react with delight at each new flavor. He found that her favorite thing was chocolate.

They lay in bed together, naked, just holding each other, for a long while. She sighed. He was what she had always wanted.

“Ben. Thank you for being so tender with me, so gentle. I could see in your mind that you did that for me, so I wouldn’t be afraid. I love you.”

“Cyare, you know I will do anything for you. I can’t believe that you are finally my wife. I’ve waited so long for you. You are all I have ever wanted.”

He looked down at her with soft eyes.

“Really?” She smiled coyly.

“Yes, my love, you know this to be true.”

She crawled up and straddled his legs. His body responded to that immediately. She pulled him into a kiss. She was feeling bolder now, and tugged at his bottom lip with her teeth. He gave her a satisfied growl.

“Truly, are you trying to kill me this night, little one?”

“Mmhm. I know you wanted _more_ when we made love, I want to give you exactly what you want.”

She finally had the nerve to look at his manhood. Stars, he was so big. A smug grin radiated from him at that thought. She slid her hand down its length. She was already wet and ready again just at the thought of what she wanted to do for him.

A gasp escaped his throat when she eased herself down onto him. He threw his head back and let out a breath through his teeth. Oh. So good. So tight, hot, wet, mine. He wrapped his arms around her and rocked back. Don’t move, he thought. Soo good, soo good. Yes. Perfect.

She waited for a few moments and just felt the pulse that was _them_ throb between her legs. She needed to move, but she waited, gave him what he wanted, them joined together, frozen in time and space.

When she could wait no longer, she slowly moved up and pressed herself back down as far as she could, stretching herself, arching her back. With each breath she took, she stretched a little more, until he was fully inside her, their pelvic bones pressing together. Yes, he thought, take all of me.

He kissed her ferociously now, their need escalating together. When she moved again, he thought he was going to lose it right then, but he held on. She would always be first, he would always want her to come first.

She was riding him now, following her instincts. She would always need him inside her, she would _never_ not want this.

He caged her inside his arms and pushed her down hard as he thrusted up. It was rough, almost painful, almost. She knew he wanted it that way. She was panting. Trying so hard for him, to handle his roughness, his size, to meet his raw need to dominate her.

There was no longer a need for words between them, because they were one in the force when they were joined like this. Ben bit into her neck, barely holding on. He sucked a bruise there, to mark her, to mark this. His hands seemed impossibly large on her small frame.

He needed her to come now, because he wouldn’t be able to wait. He shifted her back, just enough so that he hit that special spot inside her, where he could feel her pulse. He stared directly into her eyes, he was looking into her soul.

“Come for me.”

He pressed hard into the pulse. She flew apart in his arms, her body squeezing him so intensely that he shouted out as his release came with hers. His seed ran down her legs. So much. They transcended into the force once again, their bodies quivering together, their bliss complete. This time, the Loth Wolves were swirling with them in the force, but Rey was not afraid.

When they came back to the world, Rey crawled under the covers to sleep.

“Ad’ika, let me wash you before you sleep.” He knew his seed was all down her legs.

“No Ben, I like having your seed in me and smelling like you, I don’t want to wash it off. I’m completely yours. Come hold me.” She closed her eyes.

If that didn’t do something to his ego. She was _his_ and she wanted to be his in every way. She liked his seed inside her. It was almost enough to harden him again. He had been rough with her and she took it, took it for him, because she knew he needed it. He wrapped his arms around her and she clung to him as they slept for the first time as Husband and Wife. Mine. All mine.


	9. Always

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The honeymoon continues and something notices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you readers. I appreciate the feedback, it’s really what keeps me writing. Y’all are awesome! 
> 
> Warnings. More honeymoon. Not quite as graphic. Mature content. If you are under 18, skip to 10.

Sunlight streamed through the windows of the Master Suite. It painted light across the sheets, across Ben’s face. He awoke. When had he ever slept this well, felt this much peace? Never.

She was his. He held her as she slept and nuzzled into her neck taking in her scent, the unique smell that was Rey, sunshine and wind. He ran his hands over her bare shoulders, he kissed the little freckles there. He could never get enough of touching her. Maybe a part of him needed to be reminded that she was real, he didn’t know.

Just the feel of her breathing, the rise and fall of her chest was arousing him. He instinctually sent waves of his love to her through the force. His beautiful Rey. She smiled in her sleep. The sunbeams danced across her skin. He kissed her neck, down her spine. He couldn’t get close enough to her, or keep his hands off of her.

He was back to nibbling on her neck when he spotted the little bruise he had sucked there. It reminded him of how she had abandoned herself to him last night. He was wanting her again. Would he ever not want her? He didn’t think so.

He spooned in behind her when she started to wake. She opened her eyes.

“Ben...”

“Mhmm”

He was nibbling on her ear, holding her around her neck and waist. Like a dragon protecting his golden prize, Pure possession. Mine.

She was still half-asleep.

Good, she was awake, he thought as he pressed himself into her.

Rey gasped at the feeling. Ohhhh.

“Good morning wife.”

“Ummm, good morning...”

She was already becoming breathless. 

“Is this how you intend to wake me from now on?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

She arched back into him. They made love in the sunbeams that danced across the bed.

______________________________

Ben arose from the bed and pressed a button on the wall. He was speaking to the servants. All Rey heard was something about making sure everything was prepared as planned.

 _Her Ben_ , she thought. Stars, he was the most attractive man she had ever seen. He was solid muscle everywhere. His chest, arms, thighs, abdomen, all made of stone. He looked like a chiseled sculpture. His body told the tale of countless battles through his many scars. His hair. It was like a raven’s wing, blue-black and wildly long but so masculine. Then there was his voice..... the sound of a pure seduction.

Setting all that aside for the moment, the way that he looked at her, the love in his eyes, those carmel- colored eyes, soft and hard all at the same time, especially when they were making love.... Her thoughts were wandering and she forgot for a moment that he could hear them.

“I can look at you that way again right now if you like, we don’t have to leave the suite today.”

He purred into her ear.He had his arms wrapped around her in an instant.

“Hey. That’s not fair.”

She punched him in his very. solid. stomach....

“You had better get used to me being in your mind all the time, I can’t stay away. Your every desire is my concern. I want to make sure you are fully satisfied in every way.”

A crooked smile appeared on his face.

 _So smug_! She sent to his mind.

“Ad’ika, I know you are hungry, I have made plans for breakfast, or we can just lock ourselves in here all day.... it’s up to you.”

“We can do whatever you had planned. I already know you went to a lot of trouble.”

“Anything for you Cyare.”

He swooped her up into his arms, carried her out onto the veranda.

“Ben, we’re not exactly dressed.”

He was wearing his black silk sleep pants and she her white silk robe.

“We will have complete privacy, you know I have already planned for this.”

“So, you sent the servants away?” 

“Of course. They will only come if I summon them. Relax. Let me spoil you in peace.”

“Does that include carrying me around everywhere?”

“Mhmm”

She sighed and lay her head on his chest as he carried her down the flagstone path to the bath house. How did she get here, when just last week she was toiling in the desert, all alone?

_The force willed it, my love. This is where you were always meant to be._

Yes. She was finally home.

When they got to the bathhouse, he set her on her feet. There was a full buffet set up with enough food to feed a dozen people.

“Who is going to eat all of this?”

She gaped at the spread. That would have been 6 months worth of food for her on Jakku.

“We are, and what ever is left the servants can eat.”

He felt her relief at knowing the food would not be wasted.

“Besides, you may be eating _for 3 soon_ , if the Force wills it.”

He wrapped his arms around her and caressed her belly. He imagined his twin babies growing inside her. The thought filled him with warmth and overwhelming love. He placed a kiss on the top of her head and tried to regain his composure.

“Ben, I want them too. Don’t be afraid to let me see the love in your heart.”

Rey turned in his arms to reach for his face. He knelt down for her so that they were closer in height. He wrapped his arms around her waist and gazed up at her, his _everything_.

“I want to ensure that you are healthy and get the right nutrition. I hate that you had to suffer for so long on Jakku. If it somehow damaged you, I could never forgive myself for not coming to you sooner.”

“I know. I am home now, and I know that you will take care of me. Like you said, when the Force wills it, it will happen. I love you so much, I feel like my heart could burst.”

She traced his face with her hands, ran her fingers through his hair. He met her lips in a drugging kiss that was full of hope. They always lost track of time when they were like this. Rey’s stomach growled loudly. Ben broke the kiss.

“You need to eat. We have all day for more of those kisses...”

They sat at the table that had been made up for them and ate quietly. They spoke over the bond and just basked in each other as they ate.

“Ben, I hope we always feel this way. I’m so happy and I never want to lose this.”

Her voice trembled when she said it.

 _His Rey._ Her difficult life on Jakku had left its mark on her soul. She was always so full of hope, but also had a fear of loss whenever she was happy or even content.

A memory came across the bond: She was on Jakku. On of the transient traders had told her that he ran into her parents off-world and that they had said they were coming back for her the next day. She had beamed at him and felt so happy. She thought her dream was coming true at last. She hadn’t slept the whole night preparing her little home for their arrival, trying to clean it and make her clothes clean so she wouldn’t be so ragged. She packed up the few belongings that she had: an arrow plant, a rag doll, and some shiny stones she had collected. She was sure they would take her with them if she was just clean enough, just good enough. The next day came and her parents never showed. She waited at the landing pad all day in Niima Outpost. She saw the man at the tavern and asked him if he had seen them and he told her that it was all just a joke. He just wanted to see if he could get her to smile as part of a bet. Everyone at the bar laughed. She had spiraled into despair for a long time after that as she came to the realization that people were really that crueI. She had learned that lesson over and over on Jakku. Happiness couldn’t be trusted.

“I’m so sorry Rey.”

He came around the table and held her in his arms. I hate that you had to go through all of that. He stroked her hair.

“Who was this man? Tell me so I can find him and make him pay for doing such a thing to you..”

He felt like he was going to be sick. His rage was rising. He would find him. Oh yes. But no, he had to be calm for her. She needed his love, not his anger right now.

“Cyare, I can feel your fear at losing this, losing _us_. Try not to focus on the fear. You don’t belong in the darkness. I am here. I will never let anyone take you from me. You are my everything, my entire world. My heart cannot beat without yours, I cannot breathe without you. Say you will stay with me forever.”

It was what he had said to her when he had proposed to her in the moonlight and just what she needed to hear. She gave the same reply she had given then:

“Always.”

He pulled her out of her chair and down onto his lap on the floor. He trailed burning kisses down her neck. He had to make her see that she was his and that he would never let that end. He would _always_ be hers. The last time they had ended up on the floor after breakfast like this he had to stop himself, but didn’t have to stop this time. They were a frenzy of hands and kisses and desperate to be joined again.

He pushed her up against the side of the bath and gripped her waist. She _needed_ the domination of him pounding into her from behind, she needed it to _see_ , to fully understand that she was his. She was his. He would never let her go, never let anyone take her from him. Rey gripped his hands on her waist as he thrusted into her. She was allowing him to bend her over the side of the bath, taking it, taking it for him. She could see that he needed this, he needed it as he needed air to breathe.

He opened his heart as fully as he could to her so she would see the depth of his love for her, his rawest emotions laid bare. He didn’t try to hide the dark from her. The dark was where his basest desire to posses and protect her lived and it was vast. She needed to see it, to understand the lengths that he would be willing to go to to ensure her safety and well-being. To have her remain his for all time.

She needed to understand that in this, he was not very different from the Loth Wolf, his force-beast. At that thought, both Loth Wolves joined them, and joined with each other in the Force. She let him see the darkness in her, all of it centered around her abandonment and abuse on Jakku. It was a small darkness.

He showed her his light, which was growing and all centered around her and their love. She responded by blinding him with the brightest light he had ever seen, he melted into it and she pulled him from his darkness as they communed their bodies, minds, and spirits, together as one, powerful light and powerful darkness. Humans and Wolves together.

When they finally became one in the Force, one in their joined ecstasy, the ground actually quaked, as he filled her with his seed and whispered into her ear:

“Mine, _always_.”

After the tempest of their lovemaking had subsided and they lay boneless in each other’s arms for the second time that day, Rey couldn’t help but ask:

“Did you feel that?”

“You mean the earthquake produced by our lovemaking? I think everyone on the planet felt that... Good thing there are no other force-sensitives here....We’re going to need to work on our shields....”

“That was really from us?”

“Us, and in case you didn’t notice, our Loth-Wolves were there too. They are very strong when they are joined with us in the force. That is why they can be very helpful if we are ever in danger. You’re not afraid of them anymore, are you?”

“No. I just think of them as a part of the Force now. I don’t fear them taking over my body again. I only have to fear _you_ where that’s concerned..”

She smiled. Her smile always melted his heart.

“ I sense what your Loth-Wolf is about, protection, possession, loyalty, hunting, provision for his mate, but I really don’t know my Wolf yet.”

“Well, she’s his mate, his equal, the other half to him, just as you are to me. She’s also a mother, the protector of her children and a nurturer. He’s darkness, the bringer of death to their enemies and she is light and the bringer of life to their family. Another reason that I know you will be an amazing mother.”

He was looking at her with those eyes again.

“Ad’ika, I didn’t hurt you did I? I know I was really rough.”

“I’m a little sore, but I know why you were so rough with me and I actually should thank you for it, because now I see. I know all of you, Ben. I know you need that sometimes, just as I need your kisses.”

With that his swooped her up into his arms and kissed her soundly. After a while, they entered the bath together.

“Let me care for you Rey, the way you should have always been cared for. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

He washed her with those soft sponges. He washed her hair, massaging her scalp. After he had washed himself, he carried her out of the bath and lay her on the massage table. He covered her with warm towels.

He was going to make up for all the harsh things she had to endure on Jakku. He rubbed her body with expensive perfumed oils, taking in every inch of her, furrowed his brow at the handprint shaped bruises he had made on her hips from pinning her to the bath. He didn’t want her bruised, but he did like how she got them... He kissed the bruises then kissed her everywhere else.

She needed to know she was precious so precious, worth more than any treasure, she _was_ the treasure, so loved, so loved. Always. He sent all of that over the bond to her and she sighed in contentment.

It was then that he felt it. A darkness scraped across his mental barriers. He must have felt the quake too _. It was Snoke._


	10. Prince Ben Solo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prince Ben Solo introduces his Princess, his everything. Just when he thought he couldn’t be happier they make a shocking discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you faithful readers for your continued support. : ) This chapter does contain some smut. As they grow closer, the smut just flows....anyway, this is a long chapter and I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> Also here’s a little Mando language primer, since Ben likes to call Rey by a bunch of Mando endearments:  
>  Cyare - beloved, Ad’ika - little one, Riduur - wife

Kriff! He was running out of time. Now Snoke would know that he had been blocking him. He didn’t want to do this now, in fact, he didn’t want to do this ever. He needed to protect Rey from the reality that Snoke could destroy them both. She was already nervous enough about Snoke. Her fears were well-founded, but he wasn’t going to tell her that.

He was hoping to have a honeymoon at least before he would have to return. How was he going to leave her here, even if it was only for a few days? He couldn’t fathom it now. He needed her near, needed to be able to _touch_ her. How did he ever live before?

His life before Rey now seemed so far away. If he could only be free of Snoke, they could live their lives the way they wanted to but Snoke would _never_ let him go. It was time to think and get his story straight. He had said he was hunting for an artifact. If he could obtain one, especially that enhances dark-side powers, that might cover his lie, and grant him access to enough power to overthrow Snoke.

He had heard that there might be some shards left of the Hand Artifact on Cularin. If this was true and he could find a shard, it could be the answer to his problems. In the meantime though, he would have to train Rey to build up her mental shields. But, should he risk taking her to Cularin? He didn’t want her to be suspicious either. He had to protect her from the truth that Snoke could tear them apart if he wanted to. This was supposed to be her honeymoon, she was supposed to be spoiled and pampered, not burdened with anxiety. At that thought, Rey picked up on his conflict.

“Ben, what is it....what’s wrong?”

“I uh.. I think Snoke felt the quake. I’ve been blocking him, and he’s still blocked, but now he _knows_ I’m blocking him. I was just thinking about working with you on some mental barriers, so it doesn’t happen again.

“Ben. Tell me everything. Please don’t shut me out.”

“It’ll be fine, I’m strong enough to block him. It just caught me by surprise is all.”

His eyes were far away. Rey knew he was keeping something from her. She didn’t like it.

Before she could say anything else, he jumped on her and started tickling. It was a diversionary tactic. ( _Imagine the Master of the Knights of Ren using tickling as a diversion, he thought to himself.)_ But she couldn’t stop laughing and every time she tried to talk, he would devour her lips in a sloppy kiss that left her breathless.

He was kissing down her neck now, down to her belly, down lower. He looked up at her with _those_ eyes, as he took her tender bud into his mouth, licked and stroked it until she was mindless with pleasure and all thoughts of anything other than him disappeared from her mind.

“I love you Ad’ika”, he said as he gazed into her eyes after he had thoroughly ravaged her. She was boneless yet again, but fully sated. She looked at him with half-lidded eyes. He joined her on the daybed in the bath house and drifted off with her wrapped in his arms.

His dreams were fitful and full of anxiety. His fear of having Snoke take her was consuming him, but he knew these were just ordinary dreams borne of his human mind. He woke up before she did and decided that it would be better to contact Snoke from the ship then to wait to be summoned. He would have to mentally prepare, completely block Rey out and only keep mental walls up around the part of him that was claimed by her.

She was still sleeping soundly when he left her in the bath house to contact Snoke. He dressed in his black garments and sent a message. 

”Supreme Leader, I am following a lead on a Sith artifact, It may take some time to procure. Please advise.”

With that, a holo popped up.

“My apprentice, another artifact mission?” His voice was deep and slippery.

“ Yes Master.”

“And this artifact is important?”

“It could be very useful Master”

“Alright, I will allow it. Take as long as you need, but be ready to return quickly if I have need of you.”

“Thank You Master”

“There is something else. I sensed a _vergance_ in the force earlier today, did you feel it?”

“Yes Master, I did.”

“Any Idea what it was?”

“No Master.”

“Hmm..”

He looked suspicious.

“You may go.”

With that the holo disconnected.

He hadn’t mentioned the fact that he _knew_ he had blocked him, but that was not unusual for him. Still, he would have to be very careful. He felt a little relieved though, given that he gave him more time. He would actually have to go to Cularin now....

It was then that he felt her emotions.

She was crying. He stepped out of the shuttle. Only to see her running toward it with tears streaming down her face.

“Are you leaving me?”

“I woke up and you were gone and I didn’t know where you were....I reached out to your mind and I couldn’t _find_ it....I couldn’t _touch_ it..” her voice cracked.

The words were pouring out of her as the tears kept coming.

He closed the distance between them and lifted her into his arms.

“And I asked the servants upstairs and they said you they saw you going to...to the shuttle...and here you are dressed like this...Are you leaving now, without telling me...without me?”

She was angry now. Her eyes were burning with accusation, with suspicion.

“No Ad’ika, never. I’m sorry. I’m not leaving you. I could never leave you..”

“But you said...”

He was walking now, carrying her again up to their suite.

He would really have to be more careful with her. _Of course_ she panicked, everyone she had ever loved abandoned her....he should have thought of this....her tears were his fault.

“Shh. Cyare. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think it through. This is my fault. Your distress is entirely my fault. I don’t want to ever make you cry. You are my _everything_.”

He stroked her face, and opened his mind to her. She saw what he had done. He hadn’t intended to _leave_ her after all. Relief swamped her. She melted into the peace that they shared in the bond.

“I had to contact the Supreme Leader. I didn’t want him to summon me, so I contacted him first. Of course, I had to block you out of my mind, because he would see you there wrapped around my heart, sharing your light with me. I bought us some more time, to be here together like this.”

He bent his head down and kissed her nose.

“I suppose we should get you dressed.... it’s 1700, you know....”

She knew he was not telling her everything. She felt _unsettled_. She would wait and try to speak with him about it again later.

“Wait. Why do we care that it’s 1700?”

“Because you and I are going to a feast at 1800 to celebrate our wedding tonight”

“We can’t really invite anyone though...I mean no one can know yet, right?”

“True, but I bought you a new dress to wear that is fitting for a Princess like yourself. There will be chocolate. And I thought there might be some dancing..” He gave her that crooked smile.

“Dancing?”

“I’ll teach you of course”

He put her down on the bed.

“But..”

“Your ladies will be in to dress you in a few minutes......”

He left the room before she could protest....

_Was he always going to have plans like these_? Before she could dwell on it any longer, the handmaidens were there.

“My Lady, so good to see you.” Trayka smiled.

“You are absolutely glowing. Married life must suit you.”

Rey blushed but smiled back.

“You’ve already bathed so we just need to do your hair and make-up and put on your new dress.”

A flurry of handmaidens descended on her. They brought her a new corset that laced in the front and there were sheer silk stockings that attached to it on satin ribbions. They put her hoops on, then lowered the ballgown over them. 

It was white and blue swirled silk underneath with sheer silver silk adorned with silver crystals in diamond star patterns overlaying the skirt. It reminded her of the twilight sky. The handmaidens placed matching stars in her hair and put silver slippers on her feet that also were adorned with the crystal stars.

They painted her eyes and attached little diamonds near her brows, applied silver leaf powder to her face and shoulders. _It looked like fairy dust_ she thought. They painted her lips with something that tasted like berries. She really didn’t see what all the fuss was about just to have dinner with her husband, but her ladies were giggling and fussing over her and seemed to be enjoying them selves. When they seemed to be satisfied with her appearance, Treyka handed her a blue velvet box tied with a blue satin bow.

“Another gift from your husband, My Lady.”

_Husband_ , she let it sink in.

She opened the box to reveal dangling diamond earrings in the same diamond star pattern as the rest of her dress and hair adornments. She was never going to get used to this.

“ _Yes Riduur, you have a husband now, a husband that will love you and care for you always. A husband that will spoil and pamper you. Did you like the diamonds? The earrings are beautiful. All of the stars are diamonds, Cyare. Ben, I love them but you don’t need to keep giving me diamonds... Of course I do, you are a princess now. You deserve to be adorned from head to toe in_ diamonds. Then he was gone.

“Trayka?”

“Yes, My Lady?”

“Did you know that all of these stars are diamonds?”

“Yes, My Lady.”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“The prince wanted to tell you himself, and it’s really not my place...”

“I love them, but I also know there are so many people that could use the credits that were spent on these just to eat or clothe their children...”

“Spoken like a true Princess, My Lady. If I may say so, I think the Prince has chosen wisely in making you his wife.”She smiled.

“It seems silly to get this dressed up just to eat dinner, when it’s just he and I.”

“With your permission, I think that he wants to make sure that you understand fully that you are indeed a princess. Also, he might want to prepare you for the day when your wedding is made public knowledge. When that day comes, I’m sure there will be many formal dinners to attend, many occasions to dress for.”

“Thank you Trayka, I never thought about it that way. You are such a help to me.”

“It is my pleasure to serve you, My Lady. Come, it’s time to go”

Rey reached out for Treyka’s hand and walked arm in arm with her surrounded by handmaidens to the grand ballroom. She hoped she had found a friend in Treyka.

When they finally arrived, a servant announced her entrance:

“Announcing Her Royal Highness, The Princess Rey of Naboo”

There was an orchestra playing soft music, that had stopped when she was announced. She didn’t see Ben. The ballroom was decked out with candles and fragrant flowers, and all the chandeliers were lit with real candlelight.The orchestra resumed. A servant escorted her to a high table on a raised Dias. She noticed that there were other tables set with expensive looking dishes as well. She wondered who they could be for. It seemed that all of the servants were there. The orchestra stopped again and she saw Ben standing in the doorway. The announcer proceeded:

“All hail His Royal Highness, Prince Ben Solo, first of his name, rightful heir to the Supreme Governorship of Birren, Master of the Knights of Ren, last son of House Organa of Alderaan, last son of House Naberrie of Naboo.”

All the servants replied:

“Long live the Prince”

Hestrode towardher.

There he was. _her prince. So handsome_ she thought. He was wearing a black silk tunic trimmed in silver. He wore high boots and a long flowing black cape that was lined with the same silver material as her dress. The clasp on the cape bore the same diamond star as her earrings.

_How could someone be so refined and so masculine at the same time? She knew underneath all of that was a passionate Loth-wolf.._.. He heard that and graced her with a wicked smile and a smug growl over the bond.

“ _We could just skip all of this and stay in our suite tonight.._.” Again, she forgot he could hear. She shot him a look.

“ _You wish. It took me an hour to get into this dress._ ”

” _And I’m sure it will take me a lot less time to get you out of it._ ”..He climbed the Dias to the table with a crooked smile on his face.

“Cyare, you look stunning. Truly, you look like an angel.” Then over the bond, “ _but I know you’re really a Loth Wolf inside.”_

He smiled at her and kissed her hand. He was looking at her with _those_ eyes......The eyes that were both hard and soft at the same time, the eyes that said he wanted her in every way and that his heart belonged only to her. They sat down.

“Who are the other tables for?”

“Well since we couldn’t celebrate with society yet and we have to keep our love a secret for now, I decided to invite other people, people that are sworn to protect our secrets, people we trust. And by now my love, I know your heart and I know your mind, so I have invited the families that serve us to join us in celebrating. Some of them will still have to serve the food of course, but they will get to feast later.”

“Are you saying that you’ve invited all the servants?”

“Yes my love, and their children. I know how much you appreciate them and how much you think of those that have less than we.”

“Oh Ben, nothing could have made me happier!”

“I knew you would love it.”

She pulled him into an enthusiastic kiss.

They were panting again and in front of an audience.....

“ _Cyare, I thought you said you didn’t want to go back to the suite right now.....”_

She broke the kiss reluctantly.

“Let’s begin the feast, Princess”

He stood. The orchestra stopped playing. The announcer tapped a glass for attention.

Ben spoke:

“My guests, I welcome you whole-heartedly to our Wedding Celebration Feast. Let us ask the Force to bless this feast and to bless our union. May the Force be with you.” The crowd replied:

“And with your Spirit”

The orchestra began playing and more servants paraded out with silver platter upon platter of food.

Rey noticed that there were blue, white and silver flowers on the tables and blue white and silver swags made out of the same material as her dress hanging from the arches in the ballroom. Everything matched her dress.

“Ben, why does everything match my dress?”

“Because You are my _everything_. This is all for you. My world revolves around you, and I want everyone else to know that. You are my most precious wife. I don’t deserve anything or anyone as beautiful as you, yet here you are, keeping me anchored in your light.”

“I never want this feeling to end, I Never want a day to go by that I can’t _touch_ you and have you here with me in my very soul.Do you still not know how deeply I love you?” His eyes were turning liquid. He pulled her onto his lap.

“Oh Ben. I do see. It’s not necessary to go to all of the trouble that you doto show me.”

“I want to Rey. I want to do everything in my power to let you know how deep my love for you is. Please, _let_ me.” He kissed her neck.

She was getting teary now. How did this happen? This man was everything any woman could want and he wanted her, a lowly scavenger from Jakku.

“ _No, Cyare. No. You are a Princess now, you are my wife. You are going to be the mother of our children one day. You were always meant to be my Princess. There will never be another for me. I love you beyond all reason.”_

He put his hands around her waist and kissed her collarbone. He sucked in a breath of shock. _Could it be? He had suspected, but so soon? Was that a life force under his palm?_ His heart did a little flip in his chest. _Maybe_ , he thought. He didn’t want to be wrong, but he wasn’t completely sure. He decided to wait until after the feast to try again.

“What is it Ben, you seemed surprised there for a moment.”

“Not surprised, I just love you beyond anything in the known Universe.You’d better hurry and finish your dinner, I do have a surprise for desert...”

She slipped back into her chair and moved it closer to his, so that they were touching. _Stars, how she needed his touch_. When did that happen? She didn’t know or care, she just reveled in their legs touching under the table, his arm draped around her shoulders, his thumb swirling little circles on her arm. The dessert was being brought out now.

“Ad’ika, you are going to love this”

A large silver cauldron full of chocolate was set in front of her. Fruit and other delights were set out. Ben dipped a strawberry into it on a long fork and held it to her lips. 

“Try it.”

She took a bite. “Chocolate.... mmmm.”

“I remembered how much you liked it.”

“This is amazing.”

She was all but consumed by the fondue.

“Oh, I have to stop eating all of this, I’m going to get fat.”

_I hope so,_ he sent her.

She gave him a raised eyebrow at that..

When everything was cleared off. He held her hand. It was so small compared to his. He pulled a blue velvet box out from his tunic.

“Cyare, I have one more surprise for you.”

She opened the box and inside was a diamond ring, shaped like the stars that were all over her dress. There were two blue stones embedded in the design. He took it from her and placed it on her finger. She looked up into his face. This is your wedding ring. I’m sorry I couldn’t get it there in time for the wedding. I had to measure your finger when you were asleep.

I had them add the two blue stones right before the ceremony for a reason...”For our twins?” “Yes.” They shared a long look. 

”Ben, I...”

“I know. You are carrying them already”

“Yes, I think so.. it’s just so soon..”

“I’m pretty sure the Force had something to do with that and the earthquake. There was a vergence that occurred in the force at that moment and I think it was our babies coming into existence.”

Tears streamed down her face.

“Rey, I’m so happy.”

He picked her up and twirled her around.

“You’re crying. Say it’s because you’re happy too...”

“Yes, yes of course.” They shared a long tearful kiss.

“My love, we’re supposed to start the dancing. Your make up is everywhere....”

He ran his thumbs across her cheeks.

“Let’s not tell anyone just yet about our babies. We don’t want anything to appear unnatural.”

“I agree.”

He waved his hand at Treyka. “

“When I say _anyone_ , that includes Trayka too. I know you are fond of her, but we need to wait just a week or two, alright my beloved?”

“Alright.” She smiled up at him with the most radiant smile.

“Although, somehow I think she already suspects....are you sure she’s not force-sensitive?.......She was saying how I was glowing...”

“Ah, Here she is now.”

“Trayka, Can you help my beautiful wife fix her makeup really quickly so we can start the dancing? I think she cried it all off.”

“Come My Lady, let’s get you fixed up.”

“Thank you Trayka.”

“My Lady, if you don’t mind me asking, what in the universe happened to your make-up?” She was wiping her face, applying powder.

“Trayka, I’m just so overwhelmed and happy, I just couldn’t stop crying..”

“I’m glad My Lady, I’m so happy for you. If I may say, Lord...uh.. Prince Solo has never been this generous. You are making him a better man. Here, close your eyes.” She powdered her eyelids.

“Ok, let me look at you. Good as new. You look beautiful.”

“Thank you again, Trayka” she gave her a warm smile and gave her hand a squeeze.

She made her way back to Ben. He took her in his arms and gave her a quick dance lesson.

“Cyare, this is going to be so easy, because we can use the force. Just watch my mind to see what I plan to do and do it.”

He swayed her to the left, dipped her to the right and gracefully twirled her. Remember, here is nothing to be nervous about, most everyone here is new to dancing too. He led her down to the dance floor.

The announcer introduced them:

“Ladies and Gentleman, Prince and Princess Solo will like to invite everyone to dance.”

The orchestra played a waltz. Ben held her tenderly and swept her around the dance floor. _He was surprisingly graceful for a Loth Wolf_ she thought at him. He chuckled and twirled her sending her skirts flaring out. Then he pulled her in tightly, stealing a kiss, his hands smoothing down the sides of her gown, his arms wrapping around her waist. Several people oohed and ahhed at the sight.

“Um Ben, that might be a little bit much for dancing in public”

“I can’t help myself Cyare. You are that beautiful....you make me want to ravage you right here....”

The music faded. A new song started and the dance floor was full. Ben pulled her off of the dance floor and raced with her out to the veranda.

The moon was not quite full, but Rey still glowed in the moonlight. Ben pulled her into a passionate kiss. No one was out here, _he wanted to feel her skin, so beautiful, so beautiful, my wife, mine...._ ”He stroked her cheek with his fingers.

“Ben, don’t you think we should stop? I can’t breathe, and what if someone comes out here...”

“If someone comes out here, they will see how much I love my wife.....he was kissing down her collarbone, down to the tops of her breasts..... _he had plans for those later_ he sent her.

“I just want you so badly, Riduur. We can take our leave once I do the toast.”

“Alright.” she was still breathless. They strolled back in and when the song was over tapped a glass for the toast.

“Ladies and Gentleman I would like to propose a toast to my beautiful wife Princess Rey: Long live the Princess Rey!”

Clink and everyone was drinking, except for Rey, who pretended to drink.

“We will now retire. Goodnight friends.”

He took her hand and led her back to the veranda outside the Master Suite. He held her close and danced slowly to the music that was coming from the ball. He breathed into her ear.

“My love, my _everything_ , you make me so happy. I can feel you underneath this dress and I want you so badly. I want to show you with my body, how precious you are.”

He ran a hand over her breasts, freed a nipple. He sucked and nipped, ran a thumb across the peak. Rey sighed and threw her head back. They were still swaying to the music and she could feel how hard he was even through the layers of her gown. Suddenly her corset seemed way too tight.

“Ben.... can we get this corset off...”

“I thought you’d never ask Cyare......he said as he swooped her up and carried her to the bedroom. He lifted her gown over her head and helped her get the hoops off, then he laid her down and very slowly untied the corset with his teeth whilst gazing at her with that passion in his eyes.

_Stars, this man was pure sex._ He caught that and gave her that crooked smile. He massaged her lacy panties as he took his time with the corset strings. It was making her long for him to touch her in just the right spot, but he was denying her that, just to see her breathless and wanting. She knew now what it was that she wanted, not like before when she was completely innocent.

She knew she wanted him, no _needed_ him, buried deep inside her where he belonged. But no. He was going slowly, making her squirm under his palm. He was enjoying torturing her this way, way too much.

_My Rey, my wife, my love...._ He bent his head and she thought for a moment he was going to give her some relief to the throbbing bud between her legs...but no again, he unhooked her stockings with his teeth and slid the silk down each leg before finally freeing her from the corset. She arched her back and breathed a sigh of relief.

He quickly removed his clothes. She was laid out on the bed, waiting for him, wearing nothing but those little lacy panties. _Perfect_. He joined her on the bed and devoured her breasts with kisses and little nips whilst rubbing her through the panties. She was going mad with wanting him.

“Please Ben....” she was panting and breathless.

“No little one, not yet.” His voice was firm.

_This was different,_ she thought. It wasn’t like him to withhold anything from her......why was that strangely intriguing?

“My love, you’re being such a good girl for me...”

_What_? He slipped a finger under her panties and brushed her bud. She gasped. _Oh_. Strange how that one little touch just about sent her up in flames. But then he removed his hand and she found herself wiggling under his palm again.

“No. Not yet. Be still for me.”

She was trying to, she _really_ was. She had been wanting him since she first saw him arrive at dinner. As soon as she got control of her body again and was still, he slipped his hand inside and pressed a finger into her. _Ahhh_.She was close now, wanting to rock against his hand.

“No.”

He removed his hand again, She was so close, so close...

“I said be still little one, so be still if you want your reward.” His voice was stern.

_What was this_.....but she was becoming too mindless with her need to comprehend. He moved down and nipped around her navel. She was hoping he was going to go _lower_ , but instead he sat up.

She tried to be still, willed her body to. She was throbbing so strongly down there now, _wanting him, wanting him inside_. When she stilled, he hooked a finger into her panties and slid them off.

Now she was really trying to be still.

“Oh my good girl, my sweet Rey. So good, so very good for me.” He massaged her thighs.

She wanted to writhe, squeeze her thighs together, do _anything_ , to get some friction, but she stayed still.

It was then that he parted her thighs and slowly entered her, very gently and not all the way inside. She immediately came hard shouting for him, with tears streaming down her face. She clenched around him and he remained still for a moment, but the heat of being inside her, with her body clenching so tightly around the head of his manhood was just too much.He threw his head back and came immediately after her, whispering her name as he shuddered with pleasure. “Rey.”

_Good. He didn’t want to hurt the babies with his usual roughness._ He lay down behind her and wrapped her in his arms. He placed one hand over her belly, to protect the little ones inside while they slept, and drifted off into a blissful sleep.


	11. Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The honeymoon is over. Plans must be made.

“Good morning, my love.”

He kissed down her neck, over her shoulders. Rey stirred and leaned into his kisses. He rubbed her shoulders.

”Did you sleep well?”

“Mhmm.” She was still drifting in between being awake and asleep.

“Ben, do we have to get up right now? I’m so tired.” Her voice was thick with drowsiness.

That set off an alarm in his head. He was instantly scanning her body through the force to see if anything was wrong. He ran his hands over every inch of her. If anything was wrong he would find it.

He reached out for the babies. They were there, just two tiny sparks of light. It was too soon for heartbeats. That was it. They were implanting now, attaching inside her.It was common for women to feel exhausted during this time. Normally it would take 10 days, but these babies were special and everything was happening very quickly.

“It’s okay Cyare, just sleep as long as you like.” He kissed her cheek. She had already fallen back to sleep.

He breathed a sigh of relief and layed back down with her for a while. He thought about Rey carrying his children. He had never been happier about anything in his entire life. He considered what his life had been like just a few weeks ago. This was a dream, it had to be because he felt so happy. When had he ever known happiness like this? It brought a tear to his eye.

He bent his head to whisper in her ear: “Thank you Rey, for loving me back...”

He felt like she was the only one who ever had. He knew his parents had loved him on some level, but they never really had shown him love at least not in the way he needed it when he was a child. They sent him to his uncle who had feared his power and tried to kill him. Rey was the only one to ever accept him fully. She knew his darkness and loved him just the same. He really didn’t deserve her. She was a balm to his very soul.

He had hoped to leave for Cularin today, but with Rey so exhausted, he would have to wait. He knew it was normal for her to be fatigued at this point, but he didn’t have to like it. He read everything he could find on pregnancy and nutrition. He could at least make sure that she would have enough nutrients to keep all three of them healthy. He made a list of the foods she would need and sent it over to the kitchen staff from his holopad. He ordered extra supplements from the city to be sent in. They should be there by the end of the day.

Meanwhile, he watched her sleep, the rise and fall of her chest, listened to her breathing and the little sounds she made in her sleep. She was in his care now, where she belonged. He would see to it that she had everything she needed. He tucked an errant strand of her hair behind her ear. The force hummed with his contentment. If only they could stay here forever.

He sent orders for the ship to be prepared for the trip and decided to crawl back under the covers with her. He wrapped his body around hers and kissed her cheek before he dozed off with the most precious thing in the universe wrapped in his arms.

_____________________________________________________________

Several hours later Rey woke up. Ben carried her to the fresher. She had been out for 16 hours. He already had water and light foods ready for her.

“How are you feeling Cyare?”

“I’m so groggy, but I want to get up.”

“Do you want me to wash your hair for you?”

“You spoil me, Ben. I’ll let you only because standing up takes too much effort at the moment.”

He ran a bath for her and gently lowered her into the massive marble tub in the suite. He made sure not to make the water too hot.

“Here little one, you need to drink this water. You were asleep for such a long time.”

Of course it was not ordinary water, he had added the electrolytes that he had ordered earlier in the day. He stripped off his clothes and joined her in the tub. He washed her hair and then cuddled with her in the tub planting little kisses on her ear, down the nape of her neck. His body wanted more, but it wasn’t happening today, because Rey seemed so weak.

He scanned her body again just to reassure himself that everything was fine, which it was. After a while he dried himself off and lifted her out of the tub, drying her and laying her on the bed. She pulled him in for a deep kiss, wanting more of him. He broke the kiss and smiled down at her.

“Cyare, you need to eat. You are eating for three now. How are you feeling?”

“I’m just tired Ben, but I’m not too tired to love you.”

“Yes you are. We have the rest of our lives to love each other, but not today. Today you just rest and regain your strength.”

“What are you not telling me?”

“Our babies are implanting, that’s why you’re so tired. It’s a very delicate time. I’m not going to do anything to jeopardize that, as much as I want to make love to you right now.”

“I love you so much.” she said as she gazed up at him.

“And I you. You really need to eat, my love. Do you want to stay here or eat on the veranda?” He tapped his holopad to notify the servants.

“Let’s go outside.”

He dressed her and carried her out to the veranda.

The servants were bustling around setting the table and setting up the meal.

“Eat whatever you like Rey, just please eat.”

“Oh, I’m hungry and I will, Ben. No need to worry about that.”

She sent him over the bond: _Watch what you say, the servants will talk._

He raised an eyebrow at that. 

“I can’t help it that your care is my utmost concern. I promised you that you would want for nothing and I meant it.”

He took her hand. Their bond was stronger than ever and it hummed with peace at their joined hands. Rey sighed.

Over the bond: _Who would have thought Kylo Ren was so squishy inside_.... she smiled.

 _It is you that make me squishy and the thought of our little ones growing inside you_.

His eyes softened even more. Her heart did a little flip in her chest at that.

The food was set out and they ate. The sun was already setting. They just sat in peace together and watched it. The air was warm and a light breeze caressed their skin. This was what bliss felt like.

When Rey was finished eating Ben handed her the supplement pills to take.

“What are these?”

“I’ve done my homework while you were sleeping.”

 _Of course you did_.... she sent him and swallowed the pills.

“Thank you Ben. I am feeling stronger now.”

“I want to talk to you about something important.”

Rey’s stomach dropped.

“I’ve been avoiding this because I didn’t want to burden you with worry. With our babies on the way, we need to work on your mental barriers.”

“I agree.”

“I’m going to try and invade your mind, but if it hurts your head I want you to tell me and we will stop.Close your eyes. Feel the force all around us. What do you feel?”

“Everything. The planet, the trees, you, the servants,our babies, and even the little mice under the floor.”

“Good. Now I’m going to press into your memories just a little. I want you to press back. Let me know if it hurts.”

He closed his eyes and focused on her mind, and tried to extract a memory. He started to see her as a child again on Jakku, but only for a second. She had shut him out.

“Good. You did it. Did that hurt?”

“Not at all. Do you think it matters that it was you? Is that why it was so easy?”

“No, I don’t think it matters. I’m going to try harder this time.” He pressed harder.

Nothing.

“Are you okay my love?”

“Yes. When are you going to start?”

Huh. She didn’t even feel that.

He unleashed considerable power and attempted to see that memory. She pushed him right out of her head easily. That same effort had made grown men shriek in agony, but not his Rey.

“Did that hurt Rey?”

“Nope.”

“I actually saw what you were doing and learned how to do it.”

“Interesting.” He smiled.

“Can I try it on you?”

“Of course.” She entered his mind and pushed as she had seen him do. She saw him being tortured by Snoke. He was screaming in agony. She screamed with him in his memory.

“Rey you screamed. Are you ok? Did it hurt?”

She was sobbing now. he wrapped her up in his arms.

“Ben, I saw Snoke torturing you, I felt your pain. Ben, I had no idea it was that bad.....what you had to endure..” She was trembling.

“Shh... Cyare, that is in the past. You are here now with me. All is okay. Shh.”

“Oh Ben....”

She was weeping for his lost childhood, his lost innocence, for all of the pain he had to endure with no one to love him.......

“Ben, we have got to do something about Snoke. As long as he exists, he can hurt you like that. Kriff!”

Stars, she wasn’t even worried about Snoke hurting her, she thought only of him. He didn’t deserve this pure soul..

“Rey, we are going to do something about Snoke. I have a plan. By the way, I don’t think I have to worry about your shields anymore...”

He smirked. That got a smile out of her and got her to stop sobbing at least.

“Let’s go inside and talk about it.”

He scooped her up and carried her. She didn’t even bother to protest. This is how things were going to be until she was too big for him to do it. She saw it in his mind. He layed her on the bed and sat down next to her. 

“What’s the plan?”

“I have told Snoke that I am going to Cularin to look for a Sith artifact.”

“So tell me about this artifact.”

“It is called the hand artifact because it was a huge stone literally carved into the shape of a giant hand. It enhances dark side powers and can be used to suck the life force from another to enhance someone else’s power. It was destroyed long ago, but if I can find the right cave there may be shards left. Those shards could be used as a weapon to help me against Snoke. I won’t really know what a shard would do until I find one and I try it. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this, but I didn’t want to ruin our honeymoon.”

He pulled her to him, caged her in his arms as if somehow his body could protect her from the difficult truth he didn’t want to reveal. He looked down into her eyes.

“You were right to be worried about Snoke. I am blocking him now, but I can’t do it forever. He will find out about us. I can only hope that he will allow this or that I can kill him myself. Preferably the latter, so we can be free. If I find the artifact, I might be able to do it. Until Snoke is dead, our life is not going to be easy. I actually thought I could leave you on Naboo until things were settled, but I know now that it’s going to be harder than I ever imagined. I need to be able to touch you and feel you near. I need to be able to protect our babies. Rey, my mother told me that Snoke came to me when I was still in her womb. I’ll never let that happen to our children, even if that means that I die trying.”

The thought made him shake in anger, his rage rising.

“Ben, I know you can protect us, and I don’t want you to die. Please don’t talk that way.”

Snoke was abusing him from the womb.... she let that sink in.

“Oh Ben, I’m so sorry. That monster took so much from you. We will stop him. We have to.” She buried her face in his chest, hugging him tightly.

He nuzzled into her neck. “I’m sorry Rey. I want your life to be easy. It’s my fault that it’s so complicated. You deserve more than that.”

“Ben, I don’t care about any of that. I just want to be with you. Snoke terrifies me. There’s got to be a way...”

“I’ll find the shard, then we will see what I can do with it. My ship is ready to leave and when you are feeling better, I’m going to have to go.”

“No Ben. I’m coming with you. You’re not going to just get me pregnant and leave me here. I need you. I don’t want to be alone. You said yourself that the babies have to be protected from Snoke. I can help.”

“Rey, it’s too dangerous. That planet is inhabited by all sorts of dark creatures, and the terrain is difficult.”

“You said it yourself, that it’s too hard to be apart and I can’t even tell anyone here I’m pregnant yet. You can’t expect me to do this. Please Ben, I need to be with you.”

He knew what she was saying was true. He could protect her and the babies.

“Alright Cyare, Let’s see how you feel tomorrow and we may go. But I need you to be honest with me about how you are feeling, Cularin is a hot rainforest planet. It won’t be an easy trip. Of course if you want to stay here, you can always change your mind.”

“Never Ben. We do this together.”

“Together.” He pulled her down into breathless kiss. “I just love you so much, I want you safe, free from any danger.” He was crushing her to him, whispering desperately into her ear. She reached up and held his face in her hands.

“Ben, I know you can protect us if need be. You are the Master of the Knights of Ren. Please teach me more so I can help.”

They spent the rest of the night in each other’s minds. Rey found she could learn directly from his mind and she was a fast learner. He taught her how to put someone into a force-sleep, how to use the Jedi mind trick and how to sense when someone else was probing her mind. She learned how to move objects with the force. She did not want to force-choke anyone, but she knew how to if she ever needed that skill.

What a wonder she was, he thought. It had taken him years to master what she had learned in a few hours. Maybe she could help.

“Cyare, are you tired?”

“A little”

“Let’s go to bed now, we can train some more tomorrow. If you are feeling well we can leave for Cularin. I think you’re ready.”

He got into bed and pulled her to him. He buried his face in her hair and breathed in her scent and whispered into her ear.

“I love you Rey. Thank you for loving me back.” She didn’t answer, she was already asleep.

 

___________________________________________________________

The next morning they rose early. Rey seemed to be well-rested and feeling better. Although Ben wasn’t satified until he had scanned her entire body twice. After a light breakfast they boarded his shuttle and began the journey to Cularin. It would take a few days to get there even at light speed.

They had plenty of time to practice her use of the force. They meditated together. Rey sat in Ben’s lap and they joined hands. The force surged whenever they did this. They were even stronger together. If Kylo Ren was the strongest dark-side user in the Universe, then Rey had to be the strongest light-side user. The combination of them together formed a tempest of swirling dark and light forces together. Ben had never seen anything like it. They drew from each other’s power and it multiplied.

They practiced enough that they could anticipate each other’s actions before they were carried out. Their bond grew even more. They were constantly in each other’s minds and it was effortless. Talking took more effort than just speaking through the bond. They even dreamt together. They found that they wanted to be touching at all times. It was bliss for them both.

“We’ll be arriving at the planet in about 12 hours. Let’s get some sleep.”

He lifted the sheet for Rey to get under the covers with him.

“Did you take your supplements, Ad’ika?”

“Yes husband.” She rolled her eyes at him and smiled.

“Are you still feeling well?”

“You know I am, you’ve been in my mind all day.”

“Well, I don’t know, you could be blocking me, you’ve gotten so strong in the force. You are amazing. You have mastered what took me years in a few hours.....and there is no one more beautiful than you.”

He took her face into his hands and gently kissed her lips.

“Whatever skills I have came directly from you.”

“You really don’t understand my love, you are magnificent. It makes me want you so much more, if that were even possible, because you already own my heart and my body, my entire existence is yours.”

She rolled on top of him and rained little kisses all over his face. When had anyone ever adored her like this?

Ben gazed up at her. His whole world there in front of him, smiling down at him. He had been holding back his intensity from her, just how much he loved her. He decided it was time to let it flow through the force.

The moment he opened his heart, Rey gasped. She saw all of it, how he had loved her in a protective way when she was a child, how much he had longed for her when she was of age, how he had survived Snoke by clinging to the hope that one day he would be with her this way, his raw desire for her and his intense passion and love. So much love. It swamped her senses, she was swooning from it.

“Now you see, Cyare. Now you see.”

The force was humming, vibrating as a tangible thing on their bare skin, as she sent her love back. Blinding light, absolute ecstasy. They transcended into it. Their bodies were joined in an instant and they were immediately crying out in their combined pleasure, pleasure that lasted as they were suspended in the Force. Nothing else existed but them, time stood still.

They came out of it when the proximity alarm blared in the shuttle. They fell back onto the bed. Ben jumped up and ran to the cockpit. They had arrived at Cularin. Stars, they had been suspended in ecstasy together for 12 hours..... He set an orbit around the green planet and padded back to the bed.

“What was that?”

“Um. We arrived at Cularin.”

“What? That would mean that our incredible force-gasm lasted 12 hours. “Force-gasm? “Well, what else would you call that? Stars Ben... that was... I really don’t even know what that was, but it was amazing. I couldn’t love you more..” She pulled him back down into the bed.

“I am tired now though. Do we have time to sleep?” She snuggled in, using his arm as a pillow.

“Of course we do, Cyare, anything for you.”

He reached around to cover her belly with his other hand. He felt for the babies there, to make sure they were unharmed. They were growing well. “Goodnight little ones.” They slept well, their bodies entwined as they were always meant to be.

 

_________________________________________________________________

 

Ben woke to the sounds of Rey being sick.

“Ad’ika, are you ok?”

Kriff! She had morning sickness. He panicked. He ran to the fresher where she was leaned over the basin and held back her hair. He rubbed her back.

“What can I do little one?”

She couldn’t speak so she sent over the bond : _Don’t panic, this is normal right? Oh._ This was miserable.

“Wait, I read up on this. Ok. give me your wrists”

He was gagging with her. What was childbirth going to be like if he was sharing her morning sickness....

He took her wrists and pressed into them with his thumbs, right below the junction of her palm. He felt pressure points pop up there and he held them firmly.

“I’m so sorry Ad’ika, I know this is all my fault..”

“It’s just part of being pregnant Ben, and I want our babies so much. It’s no one’s fault. I asked you to give me babies, remember?”

He did remember and that memory hardened him, even now.

A crooked smile appeared on his face.

“Yes, I do remember you asking.”

“Oh, I think whatever you are doing is working. I’m feeling a bit better.”

He released her wrists.

“Still better?”

“Yes, I think it’s passed.”

“Cyare, next time wake me. You don’t have to do this alone. I am here for you.” He swooped her up and carried her to the bed.

“ The holos say you still need to eat a little something like a cracker to keep your stomach calm.” He handed her some crackers and water.

“Just little nibbles, little sips” He fetched a damp cloth from the fresher and put it on her forehead.

“Still ok?”

He climbed back onto the bed and cradled her in his arms.

“Let’s just rest for a little while longer”

She sighed and nodded. Peace flooded them and they rested that way for a long while.

 

____________________________________________________________

It was daylight on the side of the planet they were going to land on. They dressed and ate. Rey was able to keep the food down.

“Are you sure you are feeling well enough to go down to the planet today? We can wait until tomorrow.”

“Ben, my mornings are probably going to be like this for awhile. I feel better now. Besides, the sooner we go, the sooner we can handle Snoke.”

He scanned her body again. She seemed fine.

“Strap in then, we’re going to enter the atmosphere.”

Ben piloted them to a spot near the mountain where the caves were. The shuttle landed without incident. They put on their packs and brought their water.The shuttle doors hissed open, gasses venting from the sides as the stepped onto the ramp. Ben wore his black garments as he usually would have done on any artifact mission. There were spies everywhere and he had to keep up his persona until he could be free. Rey wore plain grey garments suited to the rainforest environment.

He sent her over the bond: _Stay behind me until we see that we will be left undisturbed._ He closed the ramp and armed the shuttle against intruders.

The force was considerably stronger on this planet than most. There was so much life. There were all manner of tropical plants and trees. Strange blooms and fruits everywhere and a plethora of insect life. The force hummed with it all.

Their bond pulsed and phased pulling them even closer, easily keeping their minds buried inside one and other. Rey wondered at the greenness of it, the plants and animals. _So much life_ she thought. They had only walked a short distance when Ben felt a group approaching them. He felt their murderous intent just as they revealed their presence around them.

“Get behind me Rey!” He held his light sabre in one hand and her body behind his back in the other.

Kriff! What was he thinking bringing her here...it was far more dangerous than he had anticipated. They were surrounded by a group of angry Tarasins. They were a reptilian species known to be force-sensitive and for their volatile nature. When they were agitated, their fins would turn red. They were red now.

“Go away! We don’t want the First Order here.”

He spoke to Rey over the bond: _Cyare, this is going to get ugly. I have to be harsh to assert power here...please forgive me._ But before he could do what was in his mind, the angry mob fell to the ground. Shocked, he realized that Rey had put them all to sleep.

“You don’t always have to kill to assert power, Ben. Did this really never occur to you?”

She walked ahead of him, stepping over the sleeping forms of their aggressors. She was annoyed that his go-to move always involved killing people.

“They wanted to _kill us_ Rey.Could you not feel that?”

“Yes, but they didn’t know any better.”

 _Ugh. You’re so light._ He sent her over the bond.... He smirked at her.She truly was a wonder...

They hiked for a few hours. The trail was all uphill. Rey was tiring, he could feel her aching back and shaky limbs. She wasn’t telling him though..

He helped her step over a big rock and kept his hand at her back as they made their way up the mountain in search of the cave. It was hot and the air was thick with humidity. All manner of creatures scurried about their feet as their walking disturbed them.

“Rey, I can sense your exhaustion. Let’s take a break.”

“I’m pregnant, not helpless.”

“I didn’t say you were. I’m tired too. Let’s stop for awhile.”

“All right.” She sighed.

He handed her her water and she drank deeply.

“Does your back hurt? Come here and let me rub it for you.”

She sat on his lap and he massaged her lower back. He placed a kiss on her neck and wrapped his arms around her running his hands over her belly.

“Even sweaty, you’re so beautiful.”

She turned in his arms and kissed his nose.

“I don’t know about that.”

“Well I do. You are the most beautiful woman in the Cosmos. He leaned his forehead against hers.

“And you are mine...”

“Only if you can catch me!” She had to prove to him that she could do this physically. She took off running up the trail.

“Kriff! Rey! Come back here, it could be dangerous..” He sprinted after her.

She was giggling as she ran. He finally caught her and swooped her up.

“I caught you. You’re mine.” He kissed her soundly. The force hummed around them. They lost track of time.

 

 

 

_____________________________

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you readers for your feedback and support. I usually post one chapter per week or one long chapter every 2 weeks, but I have had a bit of writer’s block. I know where the story is going, it’s going to take us all the way through TFA to TLJ. So much more to come. Your comments keep me going, even if they are brief. ;)


	12. Alphas and Omegas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The planet has a strange side-effect....

She had run and he had chased her. There was something strangely intriguing about it that made his blood boil with desire. He caught her, she had _let_ him catch her. She _wanted_ him to catch her. She had baited him and then submitted herself to him. These ferile thoughts swirled through his mind.

There was a clearing of soft grass to the right of the trail. After so many kisses, they found that they had become completely sidetracked from their mission. Ben pulled Rey on top of him as he lay back in the grass, peppering her collarbone with little licks and nips.

She smelled so good to him and her scent was flooding his senses. She smelled like Lyris flowers and musk and the summer woods. He rubbed his face on her neck to fully take it in. He rolled her over so that he was on top of her, being careful not to put any pressure on her belly.

Why was her smell so distracting suddenly? He couldn’t get enough of it.

“ You smell amazing” He licked her just below her ear where the scent was the strongest.

Rey moaned.

“Stars, Ben, that feels so good...” A whimper escaped her throat.

He nipped her neck where he had been licking. It made Rey shudder as the feeling seemed to shoot straight down from her neck to her core. She gave out a little cry.

At the sound Ben realized what was going on a moment too late as his Loth Wolf sprang to life. He growled at Rey, his wild eyes flickering red. The sound called to Rey’s Wolf who rose in an instant.

Through the force bond he was able to reassure Rey.

“Don’t panic Cyare. They aren’t going to hurt us, that is we aren’t going to hurt each other. Just stay here with me in my mind. He sent her as much reassurance as he could across the bond. She wasn’t afraid at all.

Something was different though. They seemed to have transcended into the force, floating above everything. As they watched from above as the Wolves took their corporeal forms. That had never happened before. Dume was an enormous White Wolf with cognac colored eyes and Birya was a much smaller black. They were much larger than Rey had imagined, the size of Thunes. They circled each other rubbing and licking muzzles.

“Ben, why are they able to do this? Is it because the force is so strong here?”

“Just as in a force-dream they had manifested easily, this planet and its strong force atmosphere made it possible for them to take their other forms.” He could feel the wolves intentions.

“Can you hear your Wolf Rey?”

“Yes. I think they just want to run.”

“Yes, they do. It’s been far too long for them being suspended in the force.”

Dume spoke to both of their minds: “Bond-mates. This planet allows us to take our earthly forms and speak more clearly to you. I am the Alpha Dume and this is my Omega mate Birya. We wish only to run for a while in our true forms.”

Birya spoke directly to Rey, “I am sorry for frightening you little Rey. When we were in the forest dream, my mate called to me and we had never been so close each other. I had waited years for you to awaken to the force so that he could claim me as his Omega. We are bonded together as you and your Alpha are. I did not mean to startle you when you were still a maiden as I did. I didn’t realize that you were then still unclaimed by him.” Rey could feel her remorse and how much she had longed for her Alpha through the bond, how she had suffered knowing he was so close, but unable to reach him. She sent her forgiveness to Birya.

The Alpha spoke.

“We know of your plan to rid the galaxy of the Snoke and we will assist you when the time comes, for it is he that is responsible for trapping us here with you in the force. “

Rey hated the idea of them being trapped.

“I’m sorry that you are trapped with us. What can we do to make it better for you?”

“Kill the Snoke. If you succeed in that, we can all be free. He can tear us apart in the same way that he put us together.

I know you are pregnant, as is my mate.”

He looked up at Ben.

“As Alphas we protect our females. We cannot endanger them or our offspring. The Snoke must die.”

Ben nodded solemnly.

“Dume, We need shards from a Sith artifact to aid us in killing Snoke.If you sense it, would you let me know? That would spare my wife from having to climb anymore than she needs to.”

“Understood. I will see what I can find.”

“Thank you brother-wolf.” And with that the wolves bolted off into the jungle. They could hear the wolves thoughts and see through their eyes, feel their freedom in running and their affection for each other as bounded through the undergrowth, their hearts singing at the long awaited freedom to run.

They remained suspended in the force. It was not unpleasant, they were joined together, and that always brought peace. Watching the wolves was not unlike watching a holo-vid, except they could actually experience the sights, sounds and smells through their bodies, if they wanted to. They chose to remain separate and give their bond-mates as much privacy as they could.

Instead, they focused on the peace they were feeling from being bound so closely in the force. They knew that Dume and Birya had done the same for them on many occasions.

Dume and Birya ran. Running was freedom, running was life. They pressed their bodies together as they ran side by side. It had been so long, years and years had passed since they had run and this was the first time together.

The jungle rushed by and multitudes of creatures fled up into the canopy when they saw them coming. A herd of Pikobi bolted when the wind shifted and they smelled them coming. Flocks of Convors scattered and took to the trees, squawking out their warning calls to each other.

“You are running with me at last Omega, right where you belong. They fear us, Birya as they should. Your Alpha is well pleased.”

This filled Birya with joy. Her Alpha was everything, his pleasure the best compliment she could ever hope for.

“I am yours Alpha.”

“Yes. Now let us hunt together as we were always intended to do.”

They stalked a Cularin wilderbeast together.

“Can you smell it’s blood Birya? It calls to me.”

“Yes Alpha, I smell it too, it is injured.”

“Then it is our duty to remove it.”

They worked as a team, one wolf distracting the beast and the other closing in from behind. The hunt exhilarated them. The thrill of the chase heated Dume’s blood. After they had caught and killed it, Dume presented Birya with the best piece of meat.

“This is for you, mother of my children.”

“Thank you, Alpha.”

The sound of those words affected him on an instinctual level. She was _his_. His to care for, _his_ to claim. After they had eaten their fill, Dume claimed his mate again, this time in bodily form.

“Submit to me Omega, you are mine.”

Birya rolled onto her back inthe posture of submission. Dume scented her, rubbing his face along the sides of her neck where the scent was the strongest. He licked and nipped her there, which made her whine. He bit a claim-mark into her neck, producing blood.

She knew what this meant and stood under his larger form waiting, even though she was already bred. She looked back at him over her shoulder.

“Take what is yours, Alpha”.

A wild sound escaped his throat as he mounted her. His instinct to fully possess her was overwhelming. She needed to understand that she belonged only to him.

“You are mine, Omega. I am well pleased.”

 

_____________________________________________________

Rey and Ben had been entwined within the force for several hours now. If they could only stay here forever....The sun was setting and the two moons were rising.

“We need to set up camp before it’s dark.”

“Ben, can we go back down there or do we have to wait for the wolves to come back?”

“I’m not sure Cyare, I’ve never done this before. Almost as if on cue, they fell from the force.

“I guess we can come out at will here.”

“It’s almost dark Cyare, we can’t stay here, it’s not safe. I saw a Nexu earlier. If you see one, you know that a dozen more are hiding that you can’t see.

Small insects were swarming about them, biting them and taking their blood. It would not do to have something as unclean as that touching Rey, much less feasting on her blood. He made a bubble around her with the force to keep them off of her.

He reached out for Dume with his mind. The wolves were headed back to them. They were a few minutes away.

“Brother-wolf, would you help us get back to our ship?”

“Yes bond-mate, we will take you there.”

A few moments later the pair trotted out of the dense jungle to the clearing.

“You and your mate may ride on my back. I am fast, I am strong, I am the Alpha. It will only take me a few minutes to get you to your ship.”

Dume bowed his head as Ben helped Rey climb up to his neck and followed behind her, securing her tightly between his arms.

“Thank you Alpha Wolf.”

The ride was surprisingly smooth and fast. The trail flew by in a blur and what had taken them a few hours to hike, took less than thirty minutes on the back of the massive wolf, a wolf easily the size of a tie fighter.

The ship was still armed and nothing seemed out of place. There was no sign of the angry mob from earlier. Ben scanned everything with the force. It was safe for Rey to get down off of Dume. He helped her down.

“Thank you again Brother-wolf for helping me protect my wife. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“No. Being free here is more than enough.” He looked to his mate. They all felt his affection for her.

“Then we will see you at first light.”

He picked up Rey and carried her onto the shuttle. It reminded him of the first time he had done this, when he had taken her from Jakku. It seemed like years had passed since then. So much had changed and they had grown so much closer in such a short time. His dream of her love had come true. A tear rolled down his cheek.

“Ben, what is it? I can feel your emotions.”

“Nothing bad, Cyare. I was just remembering carrying you aboard this shuttle like this when I took you from Jakku. It seems like a long time ago now. Doesn’t it? Anyway, I still wasn’t fully convinced that you actually loved me then, but I knew how much I loved you. I was still afraid that you would run from me. I just realized that my dream of your love had come true.” He gazed down at her with pure love and devotion on his face.

“Oh Ben, look how far we’ve come. I do love you. If anything ever happened to you, I don’t think I could go on.”

He bent his head and tenderly kissed her lips, kissed them as if it were the first time, like her lips would break.

He carried her into the fresher and helped her peel of her sweaty clothes, then took off his own. He helped her into the water-shower unit that he had installed on Naboo. There was not enough room for a tub, but there was enough for a large shower unit that would allow them to comfortably shower together with a bench for Rey to sit on and multiple shower heads. He turned on the warm water and stepped in with her.

“Let me see your arms. Did those filthy creatures bite you?” He ran his handsup and down her arms searching intently for marks. There were about a dozen angry welts on each arm.

“Ben, it’s just bug bites, I’m fine, really.”

“No, it’s not fine. They took your blood and left marks on you.”

The idea of that angered him much more than it should have.

“It’s just wrong on so many levels. Nothing should mark you like that.”

He kissed each bite and healed them with the force. He ran his hands over her once more to make sure she was restored to her usual perfection.

“I didn’t know the First Order had such luxurious showers on their shuttles. The water feels so good.”

She sighed and leaned into his chest, savoring the feel of his bare skin on hers.

“They don’t. They usually have tiny ion units and a closet. I had this installed just for you.”

She gazed up at him. “You spoil me.”

“Yes I do. As it should be, mother of my children. My love for you cannot be overstated. Here, sit down. Let me wash your hair for you.”

She was _his_ to care for, _his_ to claim.

“Thank you, Alpha.”

She smirked. She was joking but the funny thing was, hearing her say the words instantly hardened him.

“What did you just say to me Omega?”

Rey noticed that strangely wetness flooded her at the sound of those words. Huh. She looked up at him innocently and repeated her words.

“Thank you, Alpha.”

His manhood jumped at the sound of it. She saw it.

“What....”

“Does it matter?” He picked her up and pressed her against the shower wall, wrapping her legs around his waist.

“Stars Rey, it’s your scent again....he was licking and nipping that spot on her neck again, not able to get enough of it as he pinned her to the wall.

Rey was moaning at the feel of it all and she recognized that his scent was driving her crazy too. He smelled like a forest fire, musky and woodsy, with something else she couldn’t quite place. She couldn’t move, he had her completely pinned. She liked it. _Yes. Pin me down, there is no escaping you_...She licked his neck right on the spot, _the_ spot that smelled so good....

Ben shivered in pleasure when she nipped at it. A ferile sound escaped his throat.

“Is this..the.. uh. wolves?” She was panting trying to get her question out. He whispered into her ear.

“Shh. Submit to me Omega. You are mine.”

His voice, oh his voice, so deep with a purring quality to it... Firm yet tender at the same time....oh what it was doing to her....She tilted her head back an offered him her neck. He bit her, drawing blood. It hurt, she didn’t care. He was marking her, claiming her as his own, giving her a claim-mark, it was right.

“Take what is yours Alpha.”

He flipped her around and pinned her hips with his from behind, holding her by the throat. As he thrusted up into her, finding her wet and wanting, he whispered into her ear,

“You are mine, Omega. I am well pleased.”

____________________________________________

 

Later on, he ensured that she had eaten and taken her supplements.

“Ben, what the Kriff was all of that wolf-stuff in the shower?”

“I have no idea. It could be this planet, or it could be that we’ve always had the wolf-instincts and now that our wolves are somewhat separated from us for once, they are coming out. The words that came out of me were definitely coming from some sort of instinct. When the wolves first appeared in the forest dream, the night I proposed to you, I remember you biting my neck before they took over. All I know for sure, is that I have never wanted you more in my entire life.

He paused, deep in thought.

“Hmm. It could be the Loth Wolf Claiming Ritual.... I’ll have to ask Dume.”

“Don’t you dare!” She turned the most adorable shade of pink.

“Okay, I guess we’ll never know then...”

They cuddled in bed and Ben fed her some little pieces of fruit. He was hoping to save her from morning sickness. He massaged her back and her sore breasts.

“Cyare, I’m sorry this pregnancy is painful for you.”

“I’m not. This is completely normal. It’s a small price to pay for the beautiful family we will have in a few months time. I love you so much, Ben. What Dume said about Snoke is terrifying.”

Her expression darkened.

“We will succeed Rey, we have to. Tomorrow we will find the artifact shards. We can’t get distracted. Alright?”

“Alright.”

“You need your rest so come here.” He pulled her to him, wrapping her up in his arms and sheltering the babies as always. He could breathe again, everything he cared about was right here, under his care and protection.

The next morning it was Ben that woke feeling nauseous. Rey was still asleep. He ran and got her a receptacle, in case she couldn’t make it to the fresher. He got the damp cloth and her crackers ready. He pressed the points on her wrists and held them for a few minutes. His own nausea passed, so he assumed that had done the trick. She slept through the whole thing. The sun was up. He reached out to Dume.

“My wife is a little unwell this morning, I am going to let her sleep a while longer. We will join you later.”

“Birya has the morning sickness too. I was just about to reach out to you and say the same thing.”

“Try pressing below the pad of her front paws, it works for Rey.”

“I will try that, see you a little later bond-mate,”

After feeding Rey her crackers and a light breakfast, they dressed and called on the Wolves. Today was the day. They would find the shards. Dume offered to take them to the caves riding on his back again. It saved so much time. There were four caves on that mountain. They would check them all.

Ben reached out with the force. He did feel darkness emanating from the caves, but it was hard to pin-point.

“Ad’ika, come meditate with me, I can’t seem to isolate where the dark energy is coming from.”

He sat down in the meditation pose and Rey sat on his lap, placing her palms on his. The force surged and swirled around them as it had on the shuttle, only this time it was more intense, the force atmosphere intensifying everything.

“I see it now, it’s the second cave. Do you feel it Rey?”

“I do and I don’t want to go anywhere near it. It’s so evil. I just can’t.” She shuddered, a cold chill ran up her spine.

They came out of the meditation. Dume lowered his head for them to get on and sped them to the location of the second cave. Birya followed closely behind. Her fur was standing up. She felt the dark energy too and it frightened her. Dume sent her his reassurance: _I am here Omega. You have nothing to fear when you are with me._ She pressed her body to his and calmed somewhat.

Ben jumped down and helped Rey to the ground. The first thing Rey noticed was that there were no sounds from this part of the jungle, there were no insects or birds or creatures of any kind. A smell of decay wafted through the air.

The second thing she noticed, was that everything near the cave entrance was dead. There were no living plants or trees. It was as if something had flash-burned them, leaving only empty husks where lush green plants had once flourished.

“Ben, I don’t want you touching that thing. It’s vile, it feels dirty.”

“You know I need it to kill Snoke. I promise to do my best to keep it away from you.”

“I don’t think I can ride in the shuttle with it.” She gagged at the thought.

“Are you sick again?”

“No, it’s the artifact. The thought of it, the energy of that thing, makes me physically sick. It reminds me of some sort of giant parasite.”

“Rey, I’ve handled these things before. I have a special container that I can seal with the force, keeping the energy repressed.”

“Good, just keep it away from me.”

“Ben, if that thing overwhelms you in any way,  please call for help.” She looked up at Dume. He nodded at her meaning.

He ducked to enter the cave. He felt the pull of the artifact, it called to his darkness, promising unlimited power. It was more like a call to suicide.

Ben pulled on it with the force. The artifact floated in mid-air in front of him, emanating a black aura that was blacker than the darkness of the cave. It beconed him to reach out and touch it. He knew better than that.

It looked like a dagger made if dark basalt. It worked on his mind. Whispering, Just touch it, you have to wield it after all, so you will need to touch it...why not just take it in your hand now...come and claim the power, all you have to do is reach out with your hand and take it......

A dark mist emanated from it and reached for Ben, like a black fog, a fog of death.

Rey felt his wavering resolve. _Yes, he wanted to touch it._

“Ben! Don’t you dare touch that thing. Get it in the box and get out here now!”

That snapped him out if it. He sent it to the box with the force and force-sealed it with a concealment barrier and hurried out of the cave.

Rey was furious. “Do you know how long you were in there? Kriff! I felt you decide to touch that thing.” She was pacing, speaking quickly, her panic rising.

“This is too dangerous.....we’ll have to find another way.”

She was raising her voice, becoming unglued.

”That thing wanted to suck the life out of you. You listened to it for two hours...”

“Two hours? I was in there for like five minutes tops.”

“No, you weren’t. It was hours.”

She looked at Dume.

“Alpha human, you were in there for more than an hour. I was just about to come and get you out.”

“And I can still feel that thing by the way. So much for your special box.” She was livid.

Ben made another force barrier around the box.

“Is that better?”

She just glared at him with her arms crossed. She was angry beyond words.

“Dume, would you mind taking us back to our shuttle? My wife and I need to have a private discussion.”

Dume nodded and lowered his head for Rey.

She glowered at Ben. “I’m not riding with you carrying that thing.”

“Birya, can I ride with you?” She nodded and lowered her head for her to climb on.

Ben climbed up on Dume with the shard and they headed back to the shuttle.

Birya spoke to Rey’s mind on the way back.

“Little Omega, try not to be angry with your mate, he’s the Alpha. He’s only trying to do what is best for you.”

“What’s best for me? Getting himself killed would never be what’s best for me. He’s not being smart about this. He almost touched that thing, Birya. He wanted to touch it, knowing that it wanted to take his life-force.”

“The artifact is seductive, especially to those who dwell in the dark-side, that is why you must be in his mind when he uses it, so you can pull him back to the light. Even if it is uncomfortable for you. Trust in your Alpha. Has he ever not put your needs above his own?”

“No. He always places me first, thinks of me first, makes sure I have everything I want or need.”

“That is the true nature of an Alpha. You were claimed by him as his Omega. It is the nature of things that he will always take care of you and do what’s best for you even if you may not like it at the time. Trust in him.”

Thank you Birya, you have given me some things to think about. Thank you sister-wolf. She petted her head.

At the same time, Dume spoke to Ben.

“That shard is very powerful. It tricked you. You should not handle it alone. Your mate is right in her aversion to it. You need to keep it away from her, I fear it could harm your offspring. I will assist you the next time you handle it, if you wish.”

“Thank you brother-wolf. You are right, it is very strong. I felt as though I was there for a handful of minutes. I don’t want it near my wife and unborn children.”

“When it comes time to kill the Snoke, you are going to have to act quickly. You won’t get a second chance and you won’t be able to touch it. What do you plan to do?”

“I’m not sure yet. I will probably have to force throw it or something.”

“I will rise when the time comes. I will try to help.”

“Thank you brother-wolf. Tomorrow I will need your help when I test it..”

“If you want I can bury the box, so it won’t be so near to your mate.”

“Yes Alpha Wolf, I think that would be best.” They found a spot a good distance from the shuttle and buried the container.

Rey was already in the fresher when he got back. He started to undress to get in and to his surprise she wanted him out.

“Ben, just give me a little space. I just need some time to think.”

He left. This night was not going to go the way he had thought...


	13. The Shard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey remain on Cularin. It is time to wield the Shard. But it’s not as easy as Ben thinks....

Rey let the warm water of the shower wash over her and tried to relax as her troubled thoughts replayed over and over in her mind. She had heard Ben’s thoughts when he was in that cave. The dark side was still there.

She knew he was dark and had accepted that part of him but this was something different. His desire for power had not diminished, even now as she stood there with his children growing inside her womb. She had thought that his lust for power had dissipated as his love for her grew. His actions today had proven that idea wrong.

Even though he was a Prince and successor to the crowns of two planets, held the right to the Governorship of Birren and was Master to the knights of Ren, he still wanted to rule the entire Galaxy. It was his greatest weakness, and how the shard was able to hold him in thrall.

That could only lead her to one conclusion: that it was never going to be enough, that _she_ was never going to be enough......He had almost gotten himself killed and hadn’t even given a second thought to what that would do to her.... A sob escaped her throat. She didn’t want to cry, but the tears came anyway.

Ben felt her sadness immediately. He appeared in the doorway.

“Ad’ika, What is it? Please don’t shut me out. Let me help you.”

She had blocked him from her mind completely.

“Just go Ben. Leave me be. Can I not just shower in peace?”

“But you’re not in peace. You are sad and crying. I can’t bear it. Please, please tell me what is wrong so I can ease this for you.”

“You weren’t too worried about my feelings when you were in that cave, so don’t trouble yourself now.” Her voice was laced with venom. She was angry now yes, _very_ angry. “What do you mean? You are always my primary concern!”

“Ben, just get out!” She screamed at him as the tears rolled down her face.

He stepped out.

She crumpled to the floor of the shower, her body wracked with sobbing as the water rained down on her. _I’m not enough, why would I ever think that I could be_....

Ben could hear her sobbing through the door. _That’s enough. I’m not allowing this to continue anymore, whether she likes it or not. I’m the Alpha, she’s going to have to deal with it._

He rushed into the shower, scooping her up into his arms and carried her swiftly to the bed, covering her with towels. She was still crying, but the fight seemed to have gone out of her. He dried her skin and slipped a nightgown over her head as he tucked her into bed.

She wouldn’t look at him and kept her eyes down, but allowed him to dress and tuck her into the bed. He pushed against her mental walls, but she wasn’t letting him in. That’s it. He was going to have to pull the wolf card on her.

“Little Omega, look at me. I am your Alpha.”

She _didn’t want to, didn’t want to, didn’t want to_ , look up at him but somehow couldn’t resist when he spoke to her with those words.

She slowly lifted her eyes to him.

He tilted her chin up with his thumb and looked directly into her eyes.

“As your Alpha, it is my sole purpose to ensure that you are cared for and comfortable at all times. You are _mine_ to care for, _mine_ to claim.

“Tell me what has you so upset.”

She didn’t want to, but couldn’t resist his voice and his scent, _oh..his scent._ Even now she was leaning in to breathe in more of him....

“Tell me.”

When she finally replied, her voice was small.

“The cave. Your thoughts when you were there.... I’m never going to be enough....” her lip quivered and her eyes brimmed over with tears again.

“What do you mean?”Confusion crossed his forehead, furrowed his brow.

“Let me into your mind so I can see.”

“No.”

“Submit to me Omega. You are mine.”

It was impossible to resist those words. Her barrier came crashing down and Ben was swamped with her roiling emotions. It took his breath away for a second. An anguished sound escaped his throat. He reached for her and wrapped her in his arms, it felt like holding on for dear life.

“Oh Cyare, I’m so sorry. You are enough, more than enough. You are my entire world, I can’t breathe or think clearly without you...”

“But Ben, you cared more for the idea of power than you did for me in that moment, you were not afraid to die for it with no thought of what it would do to me if you died....you would have _left me._.dying a foolish death all for the whispered promise of more power.

I would have been left alone again, and you didn’t care, you didn’t even think of me... you wanted the power more. You wanted the power more than you wanted me...I’m not enough...I _had thought that we were_...” She touched her belly. I’m just never going to be enough....for you.”

“Ad’ika, I don’t like to admit this, but the shard had me in it’s thrall. That is why I was unaware that more than an hour had gone by. It exploited my weakness. That doesn’t mean that my small desire for power is more important to me than my intense love for you. You are not a weakness, you are my strength and you are more than enough for me. You are beyond anything I could have ever imagined, my everything, my entire world, my very reason for existence....”.

He took her face into his hands and looked directly into her eyes, so that she would fully understand his intent.

“Say that you understand this, Cyare. It was a trick of the shard. It not only worked on me, but it seems to have worked on your mind as well. I am not leaving you. I fully intend to be a father to our little ones.”

He placed his hand on her belly. A shocked expression crossed his face.

“Do you feel that Rey? They have heartbeats.”

“Yes, I do now.” She smiled up at him as her distress melted away.

He flooded her with his light, reassurance and love. She responded by pulling him into a desperate kiss. Relief washed over her, over them both.

Ben pulled back to whisper between heaving breaths:

“Did we just have our first fight? Please don’t shut me out ever again....that was awful..”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

Nope. He actually wanted to talk about their first fight instead. _Huh. That’s fine, she thought. She could play the wolf card too..._.

“Take what is yours, Alpha.”

He heard that.

She needed him inside her, needed it as she needed air, needed to know that she belonged to him and that he would desire her like this always.

He heard all of it cross the bond and flipped her over into a posture of submission. He pinned her down and took her roughly from behind, biting into her neck as he dominated her. Her scent only intensified his desire.

He licked her on that sensitive part of her neck and she moaned in pleasure. She abandoned herself to the feeling of being completely at his mercy.

He whispered into her ear as he thrusted his hips.

“I’m never letting you go. You can’t escape me Omega, you are far to precious to me. You can try to run, but I will always find you and bring you home.”

His voice was strained from the exertion.

_Yes... Yes, exactly what she needed from him..._

After they had thoroughly ravaged each other, he whispered into her ear:

“You are mine Omega, I am well pleased.”

______________________

They had slept well. Rey was sick again but Ben already had his routine down as far as that was concerned and her sickness was brief. They dressed and ate breakfast and prepared for the day.

“Come meditate with me Cyare.” He motioned for her to take her place on his lap.

She placed her palms on top of his and let the force flow through her. Space, the Planet, the flourishing life there, the Wolves, Ben. His force signature swirled around her, it felt like home.

_Oh, how she loved him. All of him, even the darkness and especially his intensifying light_.

She let her love flow and it enveloped them in a blinding light.

Ben’s breath caught in his chest and he shuddered underneath her, the euphoria hitting him like a drug.

_Powerful light_.

It was a few moments later when she felt a darkness creep in. It was not Ben’s and it was not hers. It was seeking to draw off of their light. She knew then exactly what it was.

The shard.

How dare it try to join with them, to _take_ from them. It enraged her. She _hated_ that thing, that parasite. She hated it with all of her heart. She drew on the darkness that swirled in her mind to push it out. A scream escaped her throat. She pushed as hard as she could and then the world went black.

Ben had been basking in her light, their combined light, when he had felt the shard on the edge of his consciousness. Before he could act, Rey had already noticed and waves of hatred and anger roiled within their bond. He heard her scream and then felt her body go limp on his lap as a tidal wave of darkness had crashed through their bond and out through the force.

_Powerful darkness_.

“Rey! Ad’ika, wake up!”

He shook her. She was out.

“Stars, No!” He leaned into her face. She was breathing.

He scanned her with the force. There were three steady heartbeats.

_She was ok, the babies were ok._

He drew a shaky breath as he picked her up and carried her to the bed. He tried to revive her by putting a cool cloth on her face. It didn’t work.

He couldn’t reach her mind. It was if someone had flipped a switch and turned her force signature off.

He had never felt so completely alone, bereft of her constant soothing presence in his mind, but she was alive.

_She had to be okay then, right?_

She wasn’t dreaming. He had hoped that she was, because then he could join her there.

He lay down beside her and wrapped himself around her body.

“Please wake up Rey, please. I can’t feel you, I can’t touch your mind. I can’t breathe without you. You have to be ok, have to, I can’t live without you...just wake up for me Cyare..I love you, love you so much...”

A wave of his love flowed out through the force. She sighed in her sleep. He realized then what he had to do. She needed his light.

Even though he still couldn’t feel her mind, he sent as much love and light as he could out into the force.

He thought about their first kiss, how beautiful she had looked in her wedding dress and for how long he had wanted her, how much he had longed for her. He remembered their wedding night and how she had abandoned herself fully to his care, even though it had been difficult for her. He wondered at the moment when they realized that she was carrying their twins.

_How he loved her, oh just how much he really did love her..._..”

Her eyelashes fluttered open.

“Ben...what happened...”

He pounced on her and smothered her face with kisses, tears of relief flowing down his cheeks.

“Oh, thank the Force that you are awake! Do you feel ok? I thought I had lost you...” He was choking on that idea, no more words would come.

He reached for her across their bond. _There she was, yes. He could breathe again._

He sent her his relief and his love.

“I’m. Not exactly sure what happened Ad’ika. I think you drew on your own darkness and it combined with mine, to fight the shard and it was too much for you and it knocked you out both physically and within the force. I couldn’t feel you at all. It was terrifying.”

“Ben, that shard, I hate it, I want it gone. It tried to feed off of our light. That’s why I drew on the dark, and trust me, I have plenty of my own darkness where that thing is concerned.”

“I know, I know...but you can’t dwell in darkness Cyare, you were not made for it. Let me handle the dark. I need you to be light for me so that if necessary, you can bring me back into it. We have to be balanced, we can’t both be all dark or all light. Can you do that for me?”

“Yes of course. What are we going to do about the shard though?”

“With your help and the help of the wolves, I will find a way to wield it.”

She didn’t like the sound of that at all.

Ben insisted that she stay in bed.

“You’ve had a terrible shock to your system. I don’t want to take any chances. “Please Cyare, indulge me in this. Stay in bed and rest. I’m going to get you some tea.”

He reached out to Dume. Dume had felt the wave of darkness and had come running to the ship. He told him what had happened.

“Alpha human, I have never felt a wave like that before. Are you sure your mate is unharmed.?”

“She appears to be. The wave came from her. It was born out of her hatred for the shard. I’m making her rest just in case. Dume, I couldn’t feel her at all when she was out, it was like her force signature had turned off. It was terrifying.”

“I have never heard of that happening and I am over a millennium old. This is important. I will have to meditate on this. I fear that other dark creatures may have felt the wave and might come looking for the source.”

“I haven’t felt Snoke probing me, so maybe he didn’t feel it, but he could be shrouding his mind probe. I hope that is not the case. I need to learn to wield the shard as soon as possible so I can remove his threat to all of us. If Rey is well, we will try the shard tomorrow. Thank you Brother Wolf for running to our aid.”

Dume nodded and stalked off into the jungle. His mate was waiting for him.

Ben stepped back into the shuttle and prepared a meal for Rey. _He had nearly lost her_. The void in his heart when he couldn’t reach her had been unbearable. He never wanted to experience that again. He had felt her despair when he was in her mind before.

He knew he had let her down. She should never have any doubt as to the depth of his love for her. He had failed her yet again. Guilt was eating him.

_When was he going to get this right_?

She was the most precious thing in the Cosmos. She needed to know this.

He returned to her with a tray full of food. He hand-fed her each bite. His doting on her knew no bounds. _He would make her see. Yes, she would know the depth of his love, he would remind her._

“Rey, when you were unconscious, I can’t tell you how afraid I was... I couldn’t feel your force signature at all. I couldn’t feel your soothing light touching my heart. I never want to go through that again. I can’t be without you, ever. I wouldn’t be able to go on.” 

“Now you know how I felt when you were in the cave. The prospect of being apart is just terrifying. That’s why I hate the shard so much, it seeks to divide us. It knows we are powerful when we are joined together.”

“I’m sorry Rey, please forgive me for that.” She could feel his remorse.

“Ben, it’s not like you had control over it. I was upset because you underestimated the danger.... but I forgive you. I love you so much. I can’t wait to be off of this planet and rid of Snoke and the shard. I just want to go home.”

“Thank you for forgiving me. Thank you for loving me back. You are my reason to live.” He kissed her tenderly.

When she was done eating he climbed into bed with her, peeling off his shirt.

“Lay back on me Cyare, just rest your head.”

He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close and just held her in his arms, savoring every moment with his precious wife, appreciating her breathing on his chest and listening to her beating heart.

He would never take this for granted again.

_Love you, Cyare, so precious to me, I’m never letting you go..._..

He massaged her shoulders and braided her hair and savored where their bare skin was touching. She was relaxed and content.

_All is as it should be_...he thought as he kissed her temple before drifting off to sleep with her.

_____________________

 

Today was the day. He would have to master the shard. He knew now he wouldn’t be able to do it alone. He would need the wolves and Rey to guide him. He didn’t like having her in proximity to the shard, so Rey and Birya would stay with the shuttle.

He rode atop Dune’s back to the site where he had buried the box. It wasn’t difficult to find the spot where it had been buried because everything within a twenty foot radius of the spot was dead. The lush plant life that had existed before was gone, replaced by chaff. The shard had sucked the life out of everything even though it was still in the suppressant box.

Rey saw the area where the box was buried through Ben’s eyes. She really didn’t like this.

_What if it overwhelmed him again?_

Birya was uneasy as well and paced outside the shuttle nervously.

Dume dug up the box and Ben opened it with the force. Darkness emanated from it, but something else too, a malevolent presence.

Rey gagged. Birya whined.

He closed it right back up into the box. He felt their distress.

“Rey, I’m going to but a force barrier up around you and Birya, you can reinforce it from there too, if you need to.”

She climbed onto Birya’s neck so that they could double up on the shield. He opened the box again.

“Are you okay Cyare?”

She sent back:  _Yes, that seemed to help_.

“Stay in my mind Ad’ika, I might need you.”

The shard called to him, but this time he was able to ignore it with Rey and Dume’s help. He moved it with the force. It seemed easy enough to move. He touched it to a small tree. The tree shriveled and turned to dust in a matter of seconds.

“How are you going to get that thing past Snoke? He’s sure to feel its presence.”

“I’m not going to try to hide it from him, I’m going to present it to him. When he opens the box, I will have to be quick to press it to his skin. I think that is what I need to practice. I will have to conceal my intent from him.

He practiced quickly opening the box and throwing the shard until it became automatic.

There was only one more test that he had to do and Rey was not going to like it. No, she would not like it at all.

He spoke to her mind.

_I have to test the shard on a living creature to be sure it will work. I can’t go to Snoke without being sure. I know this is hard for you._

_Ben, I don’t want to know then._

_Alright Cyare, I will block you from my mind for a moment._

As soon as he blocked her, the Shard intensified its whispering and calling to Ben.

_Come claim your power Master, just reach out and take it......_

Ben hesitated for a moment.

Dume picked up on it and spoke to his mind.

_It knows your mate is not in your mind. Look at me Alpha human._

Ben snapped out of it.

_Thank you Dume_.

He threw the shard into a Piloxi that was grazing nearby. It disintegrated and blew away like leaves in the wind.

The shard pulsed with black energy. It had grown stronger with the life it had absorbed.

It called to Ben. It was harder to resist now. He instinctively reached for Rey. She was in his mind in an instant.

_I love you Ben. Stay with me._ She sent him her light.

The Shard reached for her, but Ben snapped it back into the box in an instant.

Rey doubled over as dizziness assalted her from the minute contact the shard had made within her light.

She vomited.

Birya called to Dume. He buried the box and caught up with Ben who was sprinting in the direction of the shuttle, lifting him onto his back.

They were there moments later.

“Rey!” Ben vaulted off of Dume and ran to her.

She was curled up on the ground shivering.

“No. No. Rey, talk to me.” She looked up at him with glazed eyes just before she lost consciousness.

He scooped her up and ran inside, laying her out on the bed. He scanned her body with the force.

_Three heartbeats. Ok_.

He could still feel her force signature. _Good_.

It was like her body was responding to low blood sugar. It was as if all the sugar had disappeared from her system.

He covered her with a blanket and grabbed the med-kit. It only took him a moment to hook up an IV.

_Thank the stars, there was one with glucose and saline._

He sent her his love.

_Wake up Cyare. I’m so sorry, this is all my fault..I love you, love you so much.._.

He held her like a baby in his arms and waited.

He spoke to her of everything that he wanted.

“Stay with me Ad’ika, we have babies to raise. I can’t wait to see them, I bet they will have your eyes...” The thought of them choked him up.

He wanted that life so badly. _Would he be able to provide it? He had to. He couldn’t fail them in this_.

“We can live on Naboo if you want, or anywhere else in the Universe you choose, but I need you to wake up first.”

Her body had stopped shaking. That was a good sign. She appeared to snuggle into his chest. Was she now just asleep?

He kissed her lips. She sighed and her eyes fluttered open.

_Oh, thank the Force._

He covered her face in little kisses.

“Ben, I’m so tired, what happened?”

“What do you remember Cyare?”

“Um...you making me breakfast...”

_Kriff_.

“Are you hungry now? Do you want to eat?”

”Yes, I am actually. Alright, I’ll be right back..”

Her head hurt, her body hurt, she felt so weak. She reached for the babies, they had steady heartbeats.

_Thank the Stars_.

Why was she feeling this way?

_I must have a virus_ she thought _,_ her mind still fuzzy.

Ben returned with a tray of food. She felt hungry and ate.

“Ben, I think I have a virus. I feel so weak.”

“Just rest Cyare, rest. I’m leaving that IV line in for now. You passed out. I don’t want you to get up. Tell me what you need.”

“Just hold me Ben. You are all I need.” He held her for a long time until she fell back to sleep, but he could not share in her peace. _They had a big problem._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think about the wolfy-ness of these chapters.


	14. The Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The shard attacks, Rey sees Kylo.
> 
> If you are avoiding smut, you might want to avert your eyes right after “Rey was leaning in the doorway”
> 
> Stay thirsty, my friends.....

Rey dreamed of the shard. It called to her, tried to becon her into its dark energy. It was taking from her, feeding on her and she couldn’t stop it.

“No!”

  
She screamed and cried and fought but it just kept on draining her. She felt like she was bleeding to death, only she knew she wasn’t losing blood.

  
Even in her sleep, she kept a shield up around the babies. It didn’t know of them. Thank the stars for that.

  
When she realized she was dreaming she called for Ben. He was there in an instant.

  
“It’s draining me Ben, I want it to go away. It’s making me sick. It’s feeding on me somehow.”

  
As soon as the thought had left her mind, Ben pushed against the shard.

  
“I am your Master. Be gone! You will not return to her!”

  
He pushed it out with a wave of his own dark power.

  
“It wants your light. I’m glad you called for me. We are not going to give it what it wants.”

  
‘Do you want to wake up, Cyare?”

  
“Yes.”

  
She woke with a start and took a deep breath as if she had been holding it for a while. There were dried tears on her face. She was trembling.

  
Ben was there and already had her wrapped in his arms.

  
“Shh. Cyare, it’s okay. It’s gone now and I am here. I’m not going to let it get near you again. I’m sorry, so sorry. I should have anticipated this.”

  
“Ben, how would you have known? It’s not your fault.”

  
“Your protection and care is my responsibility, so it is my fault. It should have never been able to come near you.”

  
“It fed off of me. Attacked me. That parasite took from me against my will. I felt so helpless. What if it could have harmed the babies?

  
She was getting angry now.

  
“How dare it do such a thing! That’s why I feel so weak. It’s been making me sick. Fortunately, it doesn’t know of the babies. We need to make sure that it never knows of them.”

  
“It will not come near you again, I will see to that. As for our children, nothing will _ever_ be allowed to touch them. I will have to see if I can bleed the shard tomorrow. It works on Kyber crystals. It might work on the shard. If I can get it to work, then this will become much easier.  
Until we get home, we will dream together. I don’t want you to feel alone or worry about the Shard when you sleep.”

  
“Alright Ben, but I don’t want to go back to sleep yet.”

She was afraid.

  
“Please don’t dwell in your fear Ad’ika, I am here.”

  
_Kriff! She didn’t trust his ability to protect her. Why should she? He had let her down, yet again.._.

  
“Ben, I can’t help it. I am afraid. Afraid for you, afraid for our twins. This thing is unlike anything else you have dealt with. I can’t lose you.”

  
She was trembling again.

  
“I just want to forget the feeling I had when it fed on me and I was helpless to stop it. You came and put a stop to it, but I’m still afraid...”

  
“Then I will make you forget.”

  
He kissed up her neck to her claim-mark. He swiped it with his tongue and nipped at it. It sent a jolt of electricity straight through her. Before she knew it, she was drowning in his scent, getting caught up in the wolf instincts.

  
_Yes. Her Alpha was here, she had nothing to fear. He would keep them safe at any cost. She could trust in him._

  
She sought his skin. She needed to feel the warmth of it against her own.

  
_No, she was not alone, her Alpha was there._

  
_Yes, I am here Omega. Rest in me, put your trust in my care. There is nothing to fear._

  
He held her tightly and covered her body with his larger form. The weight of him soothed her anxiety.

 

 _There was no escaping her Alpha, he would always keep her safe..._...

  
Later, when her anxiety had waned, he put her to sleep and joined her in a force-dream. _She would not be alone, even in her sleep._

  
They were back on their beach, under the gazebo on the oversized chaise together. He held her as he had the first time he told her he loved her.

  
He ran his hands all over her body and she held his heart in her palm. It seemed like it had been so long ago. Still, they felt very close and peaceful when they were like this. It was just what they both needed.

  
All to soon, it was time to wake. They woke up wrapped in each other’s arms. They hadn’t felt this peaceful in a while. Not since they had found the shard. It was time to get off of this planet.

  
“How are you feeling Cyare?”

  
“I’m feeling fine, no morning sickness, I feel stronger today, Ben.”

  
“When I leave today, Dume and I are going to take the Shard back up to one of the caves. That way there will be limited life force elements for it to draw on. I am going to attempt to bleed it as you would a Kyber crystal. It might take a long time.”

  
She frowned.

  
“I will have to block you the entire time and I don’t want you to reach for me. It would be far too dangerous for you. I want you to put up a shield that keeps everything out. That shield has to stay up until I return, no matter what. Do you understand?”

  
“Yes.”

 

She was not happy about any of this.

  
“Birya will be here with you, you won’t be alone, although it might feel that way when we are cut off from each other. Please remember when you feel that way, that I am doing this so we can be free and never have the threat of Snoke looming over us again.”

  
He pinned her to the wall of the shuttle.

  
“I love you Cyare, truly and deeply.”

  
He covered her face with his hands and kissed her lips as though she were the last woman alive.

  
“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  
He strode over To Dume and climbed up onto his neck. The pair took off into the jungle.

 

  
“Birya, I’m feeling nervous about this. What about you?”

  
“I might be a little nervous, but I’m trusting in my Alpha. He would never allow harm to come to us.”

  
“I know Birya, but they have no idea what they are doing with that thing really. Do they?”

  
“They will figure it out little one. They are the only ones who can.”

  
Ben and Dume retrieved the shard from its burial site and headed up the mountain.

 

“Did you instruct your mate to set up a shield? Does she understand to stay away? I don’t think she could take another encounter with that shard.”

 

“Yes, she will stay away. She fears it now. It fed off of her when she was asleep. She called me into her dream and I stopped it, but she is still afraid.”

 

“It fed? We will have to be very careful today then, it may have gained more strength.”

 

“Dume, I’m really counting on you to be vigilant with me today. I don’t know if I can wield this without Rey’s light anchoring me. If you feel that I am being seduced by the shard, use any means necessary to bring me out of it, including harming me if necessary. If somehow it possesses me, you are going to have to kill me. I need your word on this.

 

“I won’t hesitate, you have my word, brother-human.”

 

“Ok then, let’s do this.”

 

They went inside the cave and opened the box. It sensed the lack of Rey’s light and immediately called to Ben.

 

“The power is here for you to take, just reach out and claim it...”

 

He resisted fairly easily. It had grown in strength though and that was not good. It shimmered and vibrated and moved a few inches on its own.

 

He reached out with the force.

 

“I am your master, you will obey only me.”

 

He poured darkness and pain into the shard. Usually, there would be a reaction of some sort, in the case of a Kyber for example, but it gave none. Instead it seemed to send the energy elsewhere.

 

 

 

Rey was pacing. She didn’t like any of this. They had been gone for so long. The void in her mind where Ben usually was, felt _awful_. She was bereft, alone. She hadn’t felt that way since Jakku.

 

Birya picked up on her emotions. She knew what she was feeling because she felt the same way.

 

“Little human, try not to worry, they will return soon.”

 

“It’s not that Birya, I feel so alone. I need to be able to _touch_ him with my mind, _feel_ him. I can’t sense him at all. It’s miserable.”

 

Just then, a blast jolted the ship.

 

Rey ran to the cockpit and hit the button to close the ramp. She looked out and couldn’t believe her eyes.

 

An army was coming. She powered-up the shields. How long they would last, she didn’t know.

 

“Should I call him Birya? He said not to, no matter what, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t expect us to be attacked by an army.”

 

“No. Trust in what he said. We should be okay for a while with the shields right?”

 

“Yes, I just don’t know for how long.”

 

“We wait then, little one, we wait.”

 

Waiting was the hardest thing she had ever done.

 

 

 

Ben tried every method that he knew, but made no progress with the shard. Finally, it spoke.

 

“You cannot be my Master, because I already serve one.”

 

“Who is your Master then?”

 

“I will not tell you, touch me and you will know.”

 

“Your Master is not here, he is likely long dead. Yield to me. You are but a tiny piece, a fragment of what you once were.”

 

He knew better than to touch it, but somehow he wanted to desperately.

 

Dume stepped in. “You know you can’t touch it. Look at me, human.”

 

It worked.

 

The shard gave no other response.

 

Ben snapped the lid closed and stepped out of the cave.

 

Kriff. It had seemed like an hour had passed inside, but it was now dark.

 

They had been in there all day.

 

He reached out for Rey.

 

“We’ve got to get back to the ship, _now_. Something is wrong.”

 

She still had her shield up, so he couldn’t speak to her mind, but he could tell that on the other side of her shield, she was in distress.

 

“Yes, Brother-human, something _is_ wrong.”

 

They sped through the jungle back to the ship. When they got closer, they could hear weapons fire.

 

The ship was surrounded by Tarasins. This time they brought heavier weapons with them and they were blasting the ship.

 

Rey had managed to close the ramp and put up the shields, but it appeared that the shields were losing power. How many more hits could it take?

 

There must have been 200 or more Tarasins, an entire army. It didn’t matter. No one would harm their women. They sprang into action.

 

Ben froze the cannon fire with the force. The blasts hung in the air, shimmering and sizzling. He turned the blasts back on the cannons.

 

Dume took out about 10 of them, chewing them up and spitting them out, limbs were flying everywhere.

 

Ben slew another 4 with one swipe of his light sabre. It felt good to have his sabre in his hand and his enemy’s blood on his boots, the smell of it intoxicating him.

 

His dark power rose and it was only intensified by the force atmosphere of the planet and his base need to protect Rey.

 

Yes. This is what he was made for. Adrenaline pumped through his system, he was high on it.

 

His eyes were wild. A ferile sound escaped him as he decapitated the enemy before him. They would regret ever threatening his mate.

 

Dume crushed several under his feet, mauled a few more with his teeth, snapped a few more in half with his jaws.

 

 

 

When the blasts had stopped, Rey looked out the cockpit window only to see Ben and Dume decimating the Tarasin army that had surrounded them.

 

She could have dropped her mental shield at that point, but she didn’t want to. She didn’t want know the thoughts of the man that she saw laying waste to an entire army.

 

He didn’t look like _her_ Ben. She was watching Kylo Ren. She knew in her mind that they were one in the same, she had known all along, but seeing him this way in the heat of battle made it real.

 

Strangely, she wasn’t repulsed. Shouldn’t she have been? He was a magnificent warrior and she knew his ferocity was fueled by his desire to protect her.

 

He was some how _graceful_ with his light sabre, even as he was taking lives with it. A wave of his hand threw twenty Tarasins into the jungle. It was nothing for him.

 

How had she never noticed how powerful and strong he was before? Although she didn’t want to hear his thoughts as he slew his enemy, she knew she did want _something_.

 

She wanted _him_.

 

A while later, after the remaining Tarasins had either been slaughtered or had fled in fear, she lowered the ramp and her mental shields.

 

The man in front of her had wild eyes. His dark hair was clinging to his face. He was taking in heaving breaths. There was blood all over him. He threw down the shard box.

 

She had never seen anything so masculine, no so _Alpha_ in her life.

 

_Thank the Stars you’re safe...._

 

She launched her self into his arms and pulled him into a hungry kiss.

 

He pulled back, noting the look in her eyes, the desire in her mind...

 

“The blood, it’s on you.”

 

“I don’t care.” She reached for him again.

 

“Not yet. We’ve got to get off of this planet, _now_.”

 

He closed the ramp and looked at Dume and Birya. They were licking muzzles. They barely fit inside the ship.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“We knew we would have to leave at some point. When the time comes, we will stand with you.”

 

“Thank you brother-wolf, for everything.”

 

Dume nodded.

 

Ben ran to the cockpit, set the flight sequence and piloted them into the atmosphere.

 

Rey leaned in the doorway, the blood of his enemies smeared on her face, her _mouth_. She had a fire in her eyes. He knew what she wanted.

 

He reached her in two large strides and kissed the blood off of her lips. She moaned into his. Her heart was already racing in time with his.

 

He picked her up and carried her to the fresher. He tore her clothes off, literally ripped them with his bare hands before throwing his own off.

 

He nibbled on her claim-mark for a few moments, caged her to him, his muscular arms pinning her, so that she could feel how hard he was for her as he pressed his hands into the small of her back.

 

He lapped the blood from her face. The blood he had shed for her, to protect her.... Mine. Mine.

 

 

He reached down and petted her little bud. She was so wet already. He pushed his fingers inside her and quickly brought her, as he devoured her mouth in hungry kisses. Her juices ran down her legs.

 

She was squirming in his grip, making little mewling noises, wanting more.

 

He gripped her waist tightly with both hands so she couldn’t move and lowered himself down so he could lap up her nectar. He took all of it, not wanting to waste a single drop before lapping at her bud.

He was rewarded with more of her nectar, the sweet juices of her desire for him. He was mindless with his want of it. He probed her with his tongue, seeking more.

 

Her knees were buckling, she was trembling all over. He noticed that her little bud was so swollen, much larger than it normally was. He gave it a swipe with his tongue, and it quivered.

 

She was on the edge, so close to coming for him again. He touched it with his tongue once more, ever so lightly.... it jumped and she was coming, coming hard for him.

 

She moaned and her whole body quaked with the spasms of her orgasm. He licked her some more and was rewarded again with much more of her to drink in. He couldn’t get enough of it, couldn’t get enough of her.

“Kylo please...”

 

That stopped him short. She’d never called him that...

 

“What?”

 

“I know who you are, I’ve always known and I’ve always loved all of you, but I never really _saw_ you until today. I need you inside me. Please. Don’t make me say it.”

 

She was writhing in his grip, panting, she could barely get the words out.

 

“Say what?”

 

“Take what is yours, Alpha.”

 

That was all it took. He picked her up and flipped her over his shoulder. Forget the shower. He threw her down on the bed and was buried deep inside of her in an instant. Tears rolled down her face, tears of relief, tears of joy.

 

 

They were half-way to Naboo before they ever got to shower. They slept. Ben joined her in a force dream. The box was suppressed in the back of the ship. Dume and Birya had ascended back into the force when they had left the atmosphere of Cularin.

 

 

He was just about to wake her up when he felt the dark presence brush his mind. The ships Comm beeped. He jumped up and ran to the cockpit.

 

Snoke‘s holo popped up.

 

“Master.”

 

“It’s time to return. Did you find what you were looking for?”

 

“Yes Master.”

 

“Good. Bring it to me.”

 

The holo went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, readers. I’ve been hammering away on my new fic, The Lycan in You and I. Have no fear, I’m not abandoning this story, it’s just getting to the good parts. Comments give me life, let me know what you think!


	15. Parting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben is summoned back to the Supremacy.

Snoke had just summoned him to return.

Dread was blooming in his mind. He was going to have to leave Rey on Naboo. She wouldn’t like it and if he were being completely honest he wouldn’t either.

It was already hard to breathe without her nestled into his mind. He needed her touch, her voice, her light to keep him sane, at peace.

If something went wrong, Snoke would _never_ let him keep her. It was a truth that he had been avoiding thinking about.

He _had_ to succeed, failure was not an option. The shard was very risky, he knew that, but at the same time, Snoke was a ticking timebomb ready to explode and destroy everything and everyone he loved.

They would arrive on Naboo shortly. There wouldn’t be much time to break the news to Rey, Snoke would expect him to return quickly.

He went back and curled his body around Rey, enjoying the sound of her breathing and heartbeat and the feel of her body close to his, her intoxicating scent, the two little heartbeats he could feel under his palm.

He held her tightly, not wanting to let go. He would savor this moment, he might not be able to hold her ever again if this ended badly. He would make sure she was taken care of on Naboo. He had already provided for her, should he not return.

How had he ever lived before? The thought of leaving her and the babies was terrifying. No one could ever protect them like he could.

Going back to the Supremacy was the very last thing he would ever want to do. He would have to block her from his memories and his thoughts the entire time he was there, to keep Snoke from finding out. He still didn’t know what his plan B was, should he fail to kill Snoke. He would have to come up with something.

The proximity alarmed beeped on the shuttle. They were _home_. He piloted them down to the landing pad.

He woke up his love.

“We’re home, Cyare. Don’t get up, let me carry you.”

She could tell he was troubled immediately.

“What is it Ben? You’re afraid...”

“Adika, we will talk about this over dinner, alright mother to my children?”

She knew arguing wouldn’t get her anywhere. She laid her head on his chest and allowed him to carry her.

The servants were lined up on the landing pad to greet them.

Ben nodded at them and kept going up to their suite. He didn’t want to waste time with them. He had so little time left with Rey.

He put her down on the bed.

“Are you hungry my love?”

“Ben. _Talk_ to me. I know you are blocking me.”

“Please. I don’t want to fight, I don’t want to ruin our time together.”

He couldn’t meet her eyes. Sorrow swamped him. There was no _hiding_ it from her. A tear ran down his face.

She wrapped her arms around him.

_She knew._

Now her tears were flowing.

“There’s got to be another way...Please Ben, take me with you.”

“You know I can’t.” His voice cracked, he could barely control his sorrow at having to leave, his fear that he might not return to her.

“Snoke holo’d me while you were asleep. We’re out of time. I have to return to the Supremacy. He expects me back. He will be suspicious if I take too long in returning.”

He held his head in his hands. _This is not how he wanted to spend his last few hours with her...._

“Rey, everything in me wants to stay with you, and I know I can’t. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

He swallowed hard, trying to stop the tidal wave of emotion that threatened to swallow him.

“I never knew it would be this difficult to part from you. Maybe I should have waited to take you away from Jakku. I had no idea what this was going to be like.”

He pulled her into his arms and held on to her for dear life.

Rey looked up into his sorrowful eyes.

“Please just hold me. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Let’s spend our time loving each other.”

She kissed his hand that she had been holding.

“Hold me like you did in that first dream we shared on the beach.”

She reached for his lips, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down to meet hers. She poured out all of her love for him into that kiss, opening her heart fully, flooding him with her light.

He moaned in ecstasy as it swirled around him, chasing his darkness away. She spoke to his mind.

_You will succeed Ben and you will return to us. Nothing can stop you. There is nothing to fear. You are strong. Our love knows no limits._

Just then two blue orbs of light appeared inside of Rey’s light.

It was the _babies_. They were pure innocence. They had unlocked his light then and it flowed out from his heart to wrap around them.

Down below this plane of the force, He was frantically tearing off various articles of their clothes so he could join their bodies.

He finally stopped fumbling with her panties and tore them off, plunging himself into her warm wet _home_ with a sigh of relief.

_Rey, I love you..._

He was able to give her exactly three strong thrusts before she cried out in her release and he threw back his head as his seed filled her and tears ran down his face.

He stayed inside her and rolled them to their sides, panting and coming down from the most intense orgasm of his life. He held her tightly and savored the aftershocks of their joined bodies. He was going to stay like this for as long as he could, he wanted to stay home. He gazed over at his bride.

“Thank you Cyare. Thank you for bringing me into your light and for loving me. You are everything I have ever wanted and so much more.”

He wrapped his palm around her womb.

“Thank you, for giving me children. I know they are going to be beautiful, just like you.”

He gently kissed her lips as he slid himself out of her body. He really just wanted to stay joined with her forever.

Her stomach growled loudly.

“When was the last time you ate?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Well, clearly it has been too long then. What sounds good?”

“That sea-fowl with the cream sauce...”

He opened a Comm and ordered the food for her.

“I have to take care of a few things, I’ll join you in a few minutes.”

 

He stepped out of the suite and summoned Trayka.

She curtsied to him.

“How May I be of assistance, my Lord?”

“Trayka, The Lady Rey is pregnant with our twins.”

Her face lit up and it was all she could do to keep herself from jumping up and down in excitement.

“How wonderful, My Lord.”

“I know to the rest of the world this news would be very early. Of course you understand how we force-sensitives would know. It would only be a matter of time before you would pick up on their heartbeats as well. These babies are going to be special. They are already developing at a rapid rate, and able to ascend in the force. They have very strong force signatures.”

She nodded. She would have expected nothing less from them.

“Here’s where I need your help. My wife forgets to eat and take her supplements. I need you to make sure that she eats well and keeps her nutrition up.”

“I will see to it My Lord.”

“Also, on a more personal note. She likes you. Don’t be afraid to befriend her. You have my permission. I’m going to be away for awhile, I don’t know for how long. It’s going to be very hard for her to be apart from me, especially now with the pregnancy hormones. Try to keep her occupied. I don’t want her locked in the suite all alone. If there are things you could get her to help with, she would like that.”

“Help with as in do work with us?”

“I know it sounds odd, but the Lady Rey is a very giving and loving person. She likes to help people in any way she can. She puts other people above her own status. You know we are a bit unconventional. Maybe she could start a garden or something. I don’t know, but I’m trusting you to find something for her to occupy her time with. Can you do that?”

“Yes of course, My Lord. It sounds like you are going to be gone for a long time.”

“Trayka, I wish I didn’t have to leave her at all. But with her pregnancy, her safety is first and foremost. I may be going on a very dangerous mission or I may come right back here. I have left detailed instructions for you in the event that I fall and am unable to return. Have you and your warriors kept up on your training?”

She nodded her head solemnly.

“Good, because I am counting on you to keep her safe. Oh and Trayka, let her tell you our wonderful news herself. I wouldn’t want to deprive her of that pleasure.”

She smiled at him and thought, he really did love this woman...

“Thank you for your continued loyalty and service.”

“It is my pleasure, My Lord.”

She curtsied to him and he returned to the suite.

He stepped back inside the suite. They had already brought her food and she was attacking it enthusiastically on the veranda.

He sat down next to her.

“Is that good, Ad’ika?”

She nodded, not wanting to talk with her mouth full.

“I guess I was hungrier than I thought.”

He raised his eyebrows and smiled at her.

“Think so?”

She had moved on to the risotto.

He moved his plate next to hers so he could touch her as he ate. He draped his arm over her shoulder and ate with his other hand.

“This is good..”

She nodded. Still chewing.

“Don’t be afraid to ask the servants for anything you might want. They’ll get it for you. We have everything here.”

She stopped eating. Her face had changed.

“The only thing I will ever want or need is you.”

She looked into his eyes.

“Will you be alright while I’m gone? I need to know that you’ll be alright, that I don’t have to worry about how you are feeling.”

He picked up her hand and kissed it, held it to his heart.

“I don’t like it and I’d rather have you with me always, but we’ll manage, we will get through it.”

She rubbed her belly and reached out for the babies.

He placed his palm over hers and reached out as well.

“I love you all so much.”

”While I’m gone, would you like to tell Trayka our news? Would that make it a little easier for you?”

”Yes, I would. At least I will have someone to share it with. It would help if I didn’t have to keep the babies a secret.”

”Good. Then by all means tell her. I can see that she likes you.”

 

They finished their meal and Ben changed into his black garments.

He picked her up and carried her to the shuttle pad, wanted to share every last second with her.He set her onto her feet.

It was time for him to go.

“Rey, I want you to have this. Just in case. I want you to have something of _me_. Something for our children to see.”

He pressed a bracelet made from his hair into her palm. It was a thin braid, but unmistakably his blue-black locks that fastened with a silver clasp. The clasp was decorated with the diamond star from his cloak.

The cloak he had worn at their wedding feast...that matched her wedding ring. She couldn’t even think about that right now. He was leaving her, going into battle alone, a battle he might not return from.

“Ben.... please, there’s got to be another way...” 

He was slipping away from her, she _knew_ it, like water flowing through her fingers. She started to panic.

He interrupted her.

“This is just in case. I am strong. I will come back to you. Believe that nothing can keep me from returning to you as long as there is breath in me.”

That’s what she was afraid of. Her tears were flowing now.

“You said it yourself, that we are much stronger together than apart. I don’t want you to go alone, the danger is too great. Please, let me come with you, at least to be nearby so you can draw on my light. I don’t have to be in the fight.”

“Cyare, you _know_ you can’t. It’s too dangerous. I won’t risk you. I wouldn’t allow it even if it was just you. Did you forget you are pregnant? I can’t risk our twins either. Have you forgotten how sick it made you when the shard had only briefly touched your light? You are all far too precious to me. There is no way I’m putting you in that kind of danger.

“Please at least _try_ to let me into your mind. You’ve never tried to wield the Shard alone. I can’t lose you Ben. This is too risky. We could run. I can’t just stand by and let you get yourself killed.”

She choked out that last word. _Kriff! He was really going to try this...it was real now....._

“Rey, we are not running. I promise I will keep the bond open when I can, but it will be closed for much of the time so that my enemies can’t see you and our babies in my mind. I won’t risk you.

I need you to be _strong_ for me.I need to know you will be alright while I am away. That is the best way to help me.”

“I am strong Ben. We will be okay. She caressed her belly. Just come back to us.”

She handed him a lock of her hair, that was set onto a lightsaber link. He would have it attached to his sabre. She would be there with him in this small way.

He met her gaze and he swooped her up into a hungry kiss, pressing her against the side of his shuttle. His cloak fluttered in the breeze. She clung to him as if she were drowning. He pressed his forehead against hers and whispered into her lips breathlessly, “Always.” It took every ounce of strength he had to let go of her.

He turned away quickly without looking back and hurried aboard his shuttle. He had to do what needed to be done. There was no one else in the Universe strong enough to do it.

He couldn’t look back. He might change his mind and stay.If he stayed they would always be running, never be able to live in peace, always be looking over their shoulders. That was not a life he would choose for his children or for Rey. That was not who he was.

He would step up and take care of the problem, even if it meant that he would die in order to protect his family. He had seen their future before, he had to believe in it. The Force willed them to be together. He was sure of it. He would return to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience. I will still be updating this story every week. It about to get interesting...


	16. Pure light, Pure darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey tries to cope with Ben’s absence, Ben struggles to prepare for meeting Snoke

Rey watched in sorrow as the his shuttle disappeared into the atmosphere. She couldn’t breathe. She reached out for him. She couldn’t help herself.

It reminded her of watching her parent’s ship leave her behind on Jakku. Sorrow and fear swamped her. She was being left behind, again.

“Ben.”

“I’m here.”

She was relieved that he hadn’t blocked her yet. So relieved. It soothed her temporarily, she knew it was only temporary but she was desperate. Desperate to touch him with her mind, to feel him touch her mind in return. Panic was overtaking her. It was getting harder and harder to breathe.

“Will you please stay open to me as long as you can? I...uh. It was like watching my parents leave again, only it’s you and I love you so much...”

What if you don’t come back? That was the unspoken question that tormented her.

Kriff. She was panicking and he knew it. Of course she was. He could feel her anxiety and fear. He only wished there was some way to make this easier for her.

“Of course, my love. But it will only be for a little while longer. I have to prepare myself. Cyare, breathe with me. Take some deep breaths, just like when we meditate. Where are you? Are you still outside?”

“Yes.”

“Ok, why don’t you go to the bathhouse and rest on the daybed. We can meditate together for a little while.”

“Alright.”

She made her way down the flagstone path to the bathhouse.

The atmosphere was soothing inside, just like the last time she had been there. Only the last time she wasn’t alone.

The warm humid air and the sounds of the running water, soothed her.

Soft light filtered through the stained glass above the pool and the blooming jasmine scented the air.

She sat cross legged on the day bed. The day bed where they had made love, where he had held her close as they slept.

Rey thought about how he had taken her body here, pressed her up against the side of the bath and what was it he had said? She was his. He would never let her go, never let anyone take her from him.

“Are you there now, little one?”

“Yes.”

“Breathe with me.”

She could sense his breaths, hear his heartbeat. It soothed her tremendously.

“Repeat this with me:

The Force shall free me.

There is no emotion, there is peace.

There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.

There is no passion, there is serenity.

There is no chaos, there is harmony.

There is no death, there is the Force.”

They repeated it over and over until she had calmed.

“Is that better, Cyare?”

“Yes, better.”

“Alright, why don’t you take a nap there. Just lay down. I’ll stay with you.”

She laid down. She wanted his arms around her, like the last time she had slept here. She wrapped her own arms around herself, just like she had done countless times on Jakku. She could still hear his heartbeat as she drifted off to sleep.

Ben comm’ed Trayka.

“Princess Rey is napping in the bathhouse. She’s struggling a lot more than I anticipated. By the time she wakes, I will be closed-off to her. I don’t want her to be alone when she realizes that she can’t reach me. Please be there for her. I don’t want her to feel that she’s completely alone.”

This was so hard. He felt sick to his stomach. Once again, this was his fault. There should have been an easier way to do this. Rey didn’t deserve this pain.

He had to focus now. He was not the same man he was when he had left the Supremacy. He needed to become that man again, if he were going to pull this off. He needed to be Kylo Ren.

 

Rey woke up. Immediately she felt like there was a weight on her chest. She was bereft, incomplete, something was missing. Ben was gone. She couldn’t feel him. She knew if she reached out, there would be no answer. It hurt. A lot. She cried out, “Ben....”She let the sobs overtake her. He was never coming back. She knew it. “Ben...her body was wracked with tremors. Finally, she whispered, “Ben.. She reached out for him, knowing he was gone, she couldn’t help it. There was no reply. Her belly was tight and painful, being so upset was affecting the babies. She wrapped her arms around herself and spoke softly to them. “Shh. Babies. We’re going to be okay.” She had to be stronger than this, for them.

She thought about his arms around her, his scent, the rumble of his voice, the feel of his hands on her face as he kissed her, the weight of him on the mattress beside her, How his hand was always touching her somewhere. How she had felt safe, precious, loved, and the way he looked at her, how his eyes only looked soft for her.

“Come back to us Ben. Return safely and quickly.” It was a prayer to the Force itself.

Trayka knocked on the door.

“My Lady, May I come in?”

“No”she thought but she said “Yes.” Instead.

“My Lady, it’s time to eat.”

Trayka saw the tears on her face.

“Oh, Trayka, no. I can’t eat right now.”

“Being separated is much harder than I thought it would be. I can’t do this. It’s too hard. We share a force-bond and I am used to having him in my mind and being in his. I feel like he’s _dead_. I know he’s not, but I feel like he is. I need to be able to reach his mind and I can’t.”

“If I may, My Lady, Is he not off-world doing something important that only he can do?”

“Yes.”

“What’s troubling you, My Lady?”

He is the only one that can do this, isn’t he?”

“Yes. It’s just that my parents left me when I was a child. I watched them fly away and they never returned. When I saw his shuttle leave the atmosphere, all I could think was that he was never coming back for me..”

“My Lady, it’s obvious to anyone that has eyes to see, that he loves you. He is not going to leave you here for any longer than necessary. Can you not see that?”

“I know it in my heart, it’s just my mind that’s struggling.”

“Then trust in him to come home quickly. I’m sure he’s feeling the exact same way you are right now.”

“Thank you Trayka. You have a way of always making me feel better.”

“It is my pleasure. Now, come. Let us get something to eat or at least have some tea.”

Trayka took her hand and pulled her up to walk arm in arm with her to the kitchen. They sat at the little table reserved for the cooks in the back as if they were both commoners and friends.

“I wanted to tell you something Trayka.”

She reached for her hand.

“No one else can know right now, but I wanted to tell you because I hope we can be friends and I trust you.”

Trayka smiled.

Rey was such a sweet innocent girl. She was pure light. She had no idea that she was currently holding hands with a Knight of Ren, a trained assassin, and her primary bodyguard.

No idea, that all of her handmaids were trained warriors as well. No idea, that she was force-sensitive and had been able to hear them when Ren accidentally dropped his mental shields when they were making love and that she knew the exact moment that she had conceived as the planet quaked.

How did she ever end up with Ren? She always thought he would have chosen a warrior woman like herself or simply never married at all. Force-bond...The force did have a sense of humor....

Still, she had nothing but respect for the man. She had seen a side of him she would have never imagined existed. His careful planning to ensure that Rey had everything she needed at all times, even unto asking her to try and prepare Rey for losing her virginity on the wedding night.

He deserved to be happy, and it was clear that this soul made of pure light in front of her somehow completed him. She liked her. She hoped he wasn’t out there getting himself killed, although knowing him as well as she did, he wouldn’t have had her finalize provisions for Rey before he left if he wasn’t putting himself in grave danger.

“You can trust me, Rey. Whatever it is you tell me is between you and I.”

“Trayka, I’m Pregnant with twins.”

Rey was beaming and so relieved to have a confidant. She actually smiled.

Trayka looked shocked and happy. She covered her mouth and giggled with giddy excitement.

Rey ran around the table and hugged her as happy tears streamed down He face.

Rey’s reaction to telling her would have been everything Ren would have wanted it to be.

“That’s wonderful! I’m so excited for you. Oh. We have to plan for the nursery. There’s so much to do!”

Another servant brought their food and Rey ate heartily as they discussed nursery decor.

Trayka smiled to herself.

Mission accomplished.

 

Ben meditated on the shuttle. He was in physical pain from being separated from Rey. He had a hole in his chest where she was supposed to be. He had to use it. Use it to fuel his anger, to feed his darkness. He had to get back to that state before returning, otherwise Snoke would see the light that he held, hidden deep in his heart.

He thought about Rey’s pain over him leaving, how the shard had fed off of her, the pain of their separation. How people had been trying to take her from him on Jakku. Everything he had ever endured had been for her, there was so much pain he had already taken. Thoughts about the terrible things he had done and how he had regretted them swirled around in his head. He would not be alive to take _her_.

He had to focus on those things, his pain, the darkness. If he didn’t she would be taken from him and Ri’ia only knows what other torture Snoke 

would inflict on him. Not that it mattered. Being separated from Rey was the ultimate in torture.

He needed the darkness right now, needed to use it. He just couldn’t seem to get there. Her light was planted too firmly in his heart. He would have to take drastic measures.

He took off his tunic, ignited his light sabre and ran it along his side, searing the flesh. He yelled out in pain and thought about how much he wanted to kill Snoke, how much had been taken from him over the years, even from the time he was in his mother’s womb.

Another pass of the Sabre and he could see Snoke harming Rey, rending her from him, hurting her physically, killing her and his unborn children. He could smell his own flesh cooking. He had burned through even unto exposing a rib. He let out a roar of agony. Agony from the physical pain and agony from the stark realization that his imaginings could come to pass and likely would.

He bellowed and screamed “Noooo!” Tears streamed down his red and contorted face, tears from the physical mutilation and tears from understanding that if anything happened to Rey that it would be all his fault. Tears from knowing that he would be the cause of her pain, maybe even her death. He had just seen it.

He was such a fool. How could he have even thought for a moment that Snoke would allow him to keep her? He had known all along that he would only try to take her and harm her. Snoke would tear it from his mind as he always was able to do. Nothing would have changed where that was concerned, he hadn’t really grown stronger.

He was weak. Weak and so selfish. A weak selfish fool, and now Rey would pay the price. He hated himself. He hated himself, with the same intensity that he loved her with.

His dark power rose quickly and swirled around him, enveloping him in a dark haze. The ship shuddered from the force of it and he knew now what he needed to do, the only thing he could do, there were no other options.

He had backed himself into a corner and fighting his way out was the only option. He had to kill Snoke. He felt more ready than he had ever been before. His hands balled into fists, his eyes aflame with darkness, pain, and hatred. His whole body shook with the intensity of it, as a sheen of sweat formed on his skin and his hair hung wildly in his face. Yes...He fueled his hatred, hatred for Snoke and hatred of himself. Someone like him didn’t deserve happiness. There was only pain. There was only the dark. He had returned to the fullness of the dark side. Pure darkness. Kylo Ren was back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you readers. I know it’s been two weeks. I don’t like to keep you waiting. I hope you enjoyed this. If you did, let me know. The comments have slowly dwindled.... sad sniffles... Anyway, we are almost to TFA era. I can’t wait to see what you think about how I get them there. I’ve been working on 2 other fics. The Lycan in You and I, My Reylo A/B/O Underworld crossover and Finding my Mate in New York, a Short Reylo Modern AU A/B/O Law & Order cross.


	17. Hiding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben confronts Snoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay friends, I pumped out a ten chapter fic since I last updated this one. But I promise, I am not abandoning it. The inquiries on Facebook have warmed my heart to be honest. So. I’m back to this and we’ve got about 15 more chapters to go. Thank you for your kind comments, they are what keep me pumping out chapters. ;)
> 
> The other reason I haven’t posted is because we are entering into some pain here. I would much rather keep these two in bed the whole time, but alas, there are things that have to happen to get us to TLJ.

The Supremacy loomed in front of him. Even as the darkness enveloped him, he hadn’t forgotten his mission. Kill Snoke and protect Rey at all costs. He couldn’t allow himself to think about her right now, the pull back to her into her soothing light was too tempting.

_No_.

He had to stay in this place here and now, rely on the comfort of the darkness. The shard vibrated in the box as the darkness pulsed and surged around him once again.

His Master’s voice scraped along his skull. Of course he had sensed his presence.

“Bring the artifact to me.”

“Yes Master.”

He punched in the docking sequence and waited as his ship made its way to the shuttlebay.

Dread swamped him as he entered the throne room with the box and kneeled before Snoke.

“Kylo Ren, where have you been hiding?”

His voice was drawn out, condescending.

“I have not been hiding Supreme Leader, I have been obtaining the artifact on Cularin with your permission.”

Ren kept his own voice steady, a sad attempt at confidence.

“Well, I couldn’t tell, you seemed to be blocking your force signature from me. Hmm. I wonder what it is you have been doing, that you did not want me to see.....”

His every word was a hiss, his face a permanent grimace, a perpetual leer. Snoke was truly a creature in every sense of the word. Kylo knew, that Snoke already knew perfectly well that there had been more to his absence than just the artifact, but he wasn’t sure exactly _what_ Snoke knew.

He was about to find out. This was the part where he would toy with him or torture him, like a cat with a mouse.

“Let me see exactly what you are hiding.”

He lifted Kylo up and hung him in the air with the force, and the shard box clattered to the floor. Snoke forced himself into his mind and purposely tore through it, in order to inflict as much pain as possible.

He knew better than to make a sound or try to resist in any way. He hung there with his head thrown back, his spine bent backwards rendering him completely helpless. The pain was intense. His face turned red, he balled his hands into fists and sweat poured off of him as he tried to ride it out.

An hour went by at least, he wasn’t sure, it was always hard to gauge the time when the pain was so great. He felt Rey trying to speak to him over the bond once but he had blocked her, there was no way he was going to let her feel this.

The torture went on and on, for what seemed like forever. He was at his limit and Snoke knew it. But he held on, he wouldn’t show him what was anchoring him, keeping him sane, allowing him to hold on longer.

Finally Dume came. He roared to life, snapping and growling and making his vision turn red. He wanted to kill Snoke, but Kylo held him, he knew better than to unleash him against the Supreme Leader yet. It wasn’t time, he hadn’t been able to open the box.

 

————————-

 

After Rey and Trayka had eaten, they spent the rest of the day clearing out the smaller bedroom next to her suite. There were other servants to take care of it, but Trayka knew that it would be good for Rey to focus on the baby’s room, instead of missing Ren. They ate dinner together in the suite. It was actually getting pretty late.

“Trayka, I just wanted to thank you for helping me today. It means a lot to me. I’ve never really had a friend before, I was always alone where I come from. It’s nice.”

She smiled warmly at her.

“Of course, My Lady.”

“Please Trayka, call me Rey, at least when no one else is around.”

Trayka raised her eyebrows at that.

“As you wish, Rey.”

It felt weird to use her name like that.

“I wanted to ask you for a favor. Do you think you could sleep on the daybed tonight?”

She waved her hand at the daybed under the far window in her suite.

“I don’t want to be alone in here. I’m used to having Ben with me.”

Her voice cracked at the mention of his name. Her lips quivered as she tried to hold back her tears.

“Of course Rey, Now no crying. We don’t want to get all of that started do we? It’s not good for the babies.”

She came around the table and gave her a hug.

Rey laughed through her tears.

“No, I don’t want to cry.”

“Good. Let me get you something to help you sleep and I will be right over there all night if you need anything else.”

Trayka brought her a herbal tea that had sedative properties. It was safe for the babies, she had assured her of that.

She tucked Rey into her bed and lay down to sleep on the daybed.

In a short while she could tell that Rey was asleep by her steady breathing. Not long after, she drifted off herself.

It was in the wee hours of the morning that Trayka was awakened by the sounds of blaster-fire. She yelled into her Comm bracelet.

“Report!”

There was no answer. Before she could do anything else, the doors to the suite were busted open.

“Kaden! What are you doing?”

The other Knight of Ren stood in the doorway with a few others who were stationed on the Supremacy.

“Sorry Trayka, Snoke wants the girl.”

“But Lord Ren, wants her here, unharmed. It is Ren that we serve, not Snoke!”

“Come now Trayka, are you really that naive?”

Kaden rolled his eyes and sneered at her. He’d never liked Trayka all that much, she had too much light in her, too much honor.

“No. I won’t let you take her!”

She ran valiantly toward the other Knight with her Sabre drawn, expecting him to draw his as well and fight her fairly. He drew his blaster instead. Her body landed with a thud on the fancy mosaic tile of the suite.

Rey sat up in bed at the sound, only to see Trayka drop to the floor.

“Trayka!”

She jumped out of bed and ran to her, her tears splattering on the tiles, mixing with Trayka’s blood that was pooling there.

“No!”

She looked up at her attacker, only to be met with his fist connecting with her face, knocking her out cold.

 

—————

 

The torture felt like razor blades behind his eyes, going down to his brain stem, traveling down his spinal cord and it it ignited every nerve ending, causing burning pain throughout his entire body.

Being burnt alive by molten lava probably would have been less torturous. But this burn was cold, like being sprayed with liquid nitrogen. But he held, he didn’t cry out, he held for her and his babies, they were the only reason he would endure it, the only reason he could.

It was then that he heard her scream, it was the most horrifying sound he could imagine, her in the same pain as he was and she was _here_.

_Snoke had brought her here! Force! No! No! The babies. He was harming them....please no..._.

Snoke still didn’t know of them. Rey had kept them hidden, even in her agony.

This was much worse than anything he could have ever imagined. Snoke chuckled at Kylo’s horrified realization that Rey was there.

_Good he thought, good._

Her face was black and blue and she was arched back, feeling the pain, mindless from it, just wanting it to stop.

She reached for Ben in her desperation.

_Please make him stop, please. Please. Ben, the babies...._

Tears ran down her face and she was shaking uncontrollably.

_Kriff_!

He didn’t have a clue what to do, so he did the only thing he could do: he let Dume out and he fought back.

Snoke laughed.

“Apprentice, you know that is not allowed. You think you can harm ME!”

The idea enraged him. He threw Ren against the ceiling and let him fall 20 feet to the steel floor.

 

Rey was still shrieking, but she had figured out how to unleash Birya and she sprang to life, helping her throttle Snoke, and with that Dume joined in pulling Ben’s battered body with him.

Rey sent her light to Ben even through her pain, and it was enough for him to open the box and throw the Shard at Snoke.

The shard stopped just short of touching Snoke as it sang out the word:

“Master.”

Snoke smiled.

“Yes.”

He threw the shard back into the box and moved it somewhere behind his throne.

 

It was now or never. The shard would be no help, that much was clear, but maybe the four of them would be enough. They surged forward in unison and throttled Snoke throwing everything they had at him. Birya and Dume ascended into the force and snapped at Snoke’s face and limbs as Rey and Ben used the Force to constrict breathing.

They almost had him pinned down, almost.

It only took a minute or two for Snoke to suspend them both again.

He laughed.

“Well now this is interesting. It seems that the force-bond I started long ago with the blood of Dume, has given you both Loth Wolves. You are strong together. Almost strong enough to take me, and you are untrained yet little Rey. But that is something that I cannot risk right now. So I will remove the bond and you will have no memory of each other when I am done.”

He was very pleased with himself.

He heard Kylo tell her he was sorry, so sorry and that he loved her over the bond; and she just wept.

”Love her? A knight of Ren does not get to know LOVE! So you will understand even more clearly then, why I will split your souls and you will _never_ be joined again.”

He relishing saying it, just to make it hurt more, they already knew it was true.

Kylo looked at Rey one last time and said with trembling lips and a shaking voice, “Ad’ika, you are all I ever wanted.”

With that Snoke put them Both into a force sleep and floated them to an altar in the corner of the room. He used the blood of Dume, Kylos blood and Rey’s, to undo the tie he had started. It was dark force magic and it took him quite a while and quite a bit of force lightning to tear into both of their minds to remove the memories of one and other and to sever the tie.

They would both always feel an emptiness, like something was missing from their hearts and it would never be healed. Neither would ever feel complete. When it was done, Snoke was very pleased. Now there would be no hope for Ren, no light for him to cling to, he would finally complete his training and become the monster he was intended to be.

If such a dark being as Snoke could be happy, this would be as close as he would ever come to it. Yes. His plans were finally coming together for his dark apprentice and things were going to get a lot darker.

Snoke chuckled to himself, he couldn’t wait. He had no need for Rey, she was pure light, no chance of turning her, she could go back and live her miserable little life. He would allow her to live just in case he would need to use her as bait again in the future.

 

There were a few moments once they entered the force sleep that they were able to say goodbye. Kylo ran to her and gathered her up in his arms. He was like a drowning man, holding on to her so tightly, never wanting to let go.

“My love, I’ll find a way to return to you somehow.”

His eyes were wild, desperate, the tears rolling down his cheeks. He tilted her chin up to his and gently kissed her lips.

“Ben”, she said, breathlessly, the tears flowing, her hands trembling as she touched his face, and looked into those soft brown eyes, eyes that were shedding tears for her.

”What you have already given me has been far more than I could have ever hoped for. I will always love you even if I can’t remember it.”

“What of our babies?”

“They are fading.”

It was then that he saw the blood on her.

“We have to send them up into the force. Help me.”

She poured her light on him and he guided the two little blue orbs up into it.

There was just enough time to send them.

“When I find you again, they may return to us. I will find a way to return to you, I promise.....”

With that declaration, she was ripped from his arms. He reached out his hand for her and he whispered completely broken, voice trembling, tears flowing,

“Stay with me forever. Please.”

She could not answer as before, give him her “Always..” because she was already gone. It was a prayer to the Force, to the Universe itself.

Everything went dark.


	18. Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey wakes up on Jakku. Kylo Ren is confused.

Snoke leaned back on his throne well pleased with himself. His knarled features stretched into a hideous grin. He had the means now, to fully immerse his apprentice into despair. The darkness would feel like a mercy to him. He would see to that.

No more of his childish hold on the last vestiges of light. He would be fully ready to execute whatever heinous acts would be asked of him, without the hindrance of guilt or remorse.

 _Yes._

The things that he could do with his apprentice.... His power would be unmatched and all at his disposal to use as he pleased.

 _Yes_.

His plans were all coming to fruition.

He summoned Hux.

Hux entered the room hurriedly and bowed before the Supreme Leader, his hands behind his back, his uniform impeccable as always.

“Take the girl back to Jakku and leave her near Niima outpost in the sand. She must not know she was ever off planet. Use whatever means necessary to accomplish this.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

Hux had to hold back a smirk. He loved the idea of putting her back where she belonged. A mere scavenger. Especially since Ren had seemed to want her. He reveled in the fact that he was being deprived of his desires.

“Her memory has been sufficiently altered. As far as she knows, she passed out in the desert from heat exhaustion. She will also need to be changed back into her old scavenger garb and the bruises removed. Inform Plutt. I will leave it to you to see to all the details.”

“I shall see to it immediately.”

“As for Ren, put him in his bed, when he wakes he will have no memory of any of this.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

He bowed his head to Snoke and exited the throne room to arrange for Rey’s transport back to Jakku just as happy as he could ever be.

Hux smiled to himself.

_Ren was finally getting what he deserved._

————————

Rey came back to herself. She was sitting on a large sand dune.

How long had she been there?

She thought only a few minutes, but the sun was much lower and she realized how thirsty she was. She was exhausted.

She had run out into the desert carelessly, without bringing water or any of her gear. Although she couldn’t quite remember why......

Her head was pounding. She held it in her hands as she headed back toward the direction of her At-At on shaky legs. It was just over the next few dunes.

Before she could reach it, Retch, one of Plutt’s enforcers, flew by her on his speeder and threw a net over her. It knocked her off of her feet and she fought to free herself.

 _Kriff_!

She didn’t even have her staff with her.

He stepped down and peered at her through the net, radiating smugness. “Oh what do we have here? It’s little Rey. Well Rey, it seems that Unkar Plutt needs to see you immediately, so he sent me to fetch you. I guess you will be working in the pleasure tents after all, hmm.? Maybe I should see what all the fuss is about before taking you back.”

He reached into the net and tried to touch her breast. Rey bit him before he could.

“You vile creature. Let me go!”

The last thing she remembered before everything went dark was watching Retch’s meaty fist coming toward her face.

Rey woke up in Plutts office. She was bound and her head throbbed in unison with her heartbeat.

_Kriff it hurt!_

What was she doing here?

She heard Ankar Plutt and Retch arguing. Her face hurt. Her head hurt. Her insides felt wrong. There was a low cramp in her stomach.

“I told you not to harm her. You have no idea what bruising her face could mean for me. You didn’t touch her did you?”

“No, don’t worry. I wouldn’t sully your latest Maiden Bid. I know Tsarid Ra’ bid 100 for her, but now I want 50 for restraining myself. I could have easily taken her. “

“Tsarid Ra’ is dead. Kylo Ren killed him. You had better be telling the truth or he will be coming for us both. He wants her left alone.”

“Lord Ren? Force! What has he got to do with this?”

“I didn’t ask. He wants her unharmed and untouched. She is not to work the tents, and he’s making me give her 100 portions and apologize for suggesting it to her. He had wanted it done a few weeks ago, but I didn’t know where she was.

You don’t keep Lord Ren waiting for too long if you want to keep breathing. I heard that someone saw her today and that’s why I had you go look for her. Spread the word. She is off-limits. The First Order could show up here if anyone does not comply.”

Rey let that sink in. She must have really been hit hard. None of it made sense.

Kylo Ren had killed Tsarid Ra’, the man that had bid on her. Kylo Ren wanted her safe? What could that mean?

She still kept her eyes closed, pretended to be out.

“You bruising her face could be misunderstood as someone harming her. You had better hope Lord Ren never finds out.”

With that a Holo popped up. It was General Hux. “General, how can I be of service?”

Retch’s face turned white and his eyes were wide with shock. He scurried out of the room.

‘’I have returned the scavenger girl to you as previously discussed.”

“Thank You General, she is here with me now.”

“Good. See to it that you keep to the terms of our agreement. Do you understand?”

“Yes. General.”

The connection cut off. 

Plutt hurried out of the room.

He may have forgotten something...For some reason this girl was important to the First Order. Best to double-check....The First Order did not tolerate mistakes.

Rey opened her eyes and worked on her restraints.

Her mind reeled as to what all of this could mean. She was still feeling weak and dehydrated, her heartbeat pounding inside her head, making her nauseous.

She couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong....very wrong. She struggled at the restraints for a while. She had no concept of time. Her mind was so foggy.....

Plutt appeared in the doorway, covered in sweat. It was not like him to leave his office. He looked like he had been running somewhere.

“Oh, you’re awake. I had to keep you tied up in case you ran off. “

He gave her a canned smile. He never smiled. Rey thought it was odd.

“Why am I Here?” She demanded.

“Well Rey I uh, wanted to apologize for the other day, uh I shouldn’t have asked you to work the tents, but uh there’s one hundred portions for you there so there’s no hard feelings, ok.?”

She couldn’t believe it. There had to be more to this story than that, but she knew better than to ask any questions right now.

“Are you going to untie me?” Her tone was harsh, annoyed.

“Uh..yeah of course and um Retch says he’s sorry for hitting your face and knocking you out. I asked him to go find you and bring you here. He uh. misunderstood me.”

Now untied she said “alright” and glanced at Plutt contemptuously as she picked up her sack of portions and hurried out.

She thought maybe Plutt was the one that hit his head, he was acting so strangely. One hundred portions from him was unheard of.

Plutt, the creature who would argue all day over giving 1/4 portion more for something. It made no sense.She wanted to get out of there before he changed his mind, or before the deal changed. She wasn’t waiting around.

She grabbed a water canteen and headed back to her At-At with more questions swirling around inside her throbbing head than answers.

After a two hour walk in the scorching Jakku sun, Rey finally made it back. Her head was pounding and she didn’t have anything to make it stop. She drank as much water as she could and lay down to rest.

At least she didn’t have to go scavenging tomorrow. One hundred portions would last her for quite a while. She sat up to drink again and felt a warm gush between her legs. She looked down and saw blood.

_Kriff. Really?_

She’d been spared of this for nineteen years and today was the day that her body would decide to do this?

She was completely unprepared for it. Something about it made her sad. Really sad. She held herself as she sobbed uncontrollably.

She didn’t even know what she was crying about. This was it....she had finally lost her mind. Her difficult life had finally taken it’s toll on her...

Everything today had just been too much.

She cleaned up as best as she could and lay back down as the relentless cramping added to her misery.

_Something was wrong, so wrong._

She was too tired to figure it all out.

Giving in to the exhaustion, she lay her head back down and cried herself to sleep.

————————-

Kylo Ren awoke in his quarters. His head hurt. It was pounding right behind his left eye.

 _Kriff_.

He ran to the fresher and puked.

He could feel strongly that something was wrong. The force was different somehow, but he couldn’t think with his head pounding so much.

_Something was missing...._

The more he tried to figure out what it was, the more intensely his head pounded.

He braced himself against the door frame as dizziness swamped him.

 _Kriff_.

Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling of despair. This was important. Something had happened, something extremely important, and yet he couldn’t remember it.....

He shook his head and tried to concentrate. Sweat rolled down his face as he pushed into his own memories with all his might.

The last thing he remembered was kneeling before Snoke. The Supreme Leader must have been displeased at something he had done and he must have been punished.

That must be why he couldn’t remember anything. It had happened before. But he’d never had a headache like this nor this feeling, a feeling that he had lost something important.....

The closer he got to remembering what it was, the sharper the pain. Crying out in agony, he fell to his knees and crawled to his bed. He was trembling all over and drenched in a cold sweat. His body was done. Whatever he had endured, had sapped all of his energy. He would try again later when he was stronger....

He looked at his Chrono. It was the middle of the sleep cycle. There was nowhere he needed to be. He summoned a med droid and hauled himself into bed after his shot of pain-killers had been administered.

He fell back to sleep quickly, assisted by the drugs.

He dreamed of his last kill, when he had executed Tsarid Ra’. He had been exacting justice for someone....only he couldn’t remember who or why.....Just after the head had flown off into the distance, he noticed someone watching him.

A girl.

A beautiful girl, the most beautiful he had ever seen.

She seemed familiar somehow, like he had seen her somewhere before....

As soon as he had that thought, she was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so in case you are confused, Snokes memory erase took Rey back to the moments before she met Kylo Ren. As for Plutt, Rey has only been away for a few weeks and he still believes Kylo Ren will come for him if he hurts Rey, regardless of what Hux has asked of him.
> 
> As always thank you for the comments, they keep me going. I don’t have a large fan base on this one, but I will see it through for those of you who have stuck with me. ;)


	19. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confusion over the pain continues..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi readers, thank you for sticking with this. We have a little more angst, but you know there’s still light in this story...  
> I’ve been busy getting kids back to school so I apologize in advance for my shorter chapters.

Elsewhere in the galaxy the rebellion was preparing for their next initiative led by General Leia Organa.

Leia was sitting in the command center when a wave of anguish hit her.

She doubled over in pain as her stomach cramped and her skull felt like it was going to split open. Her heart ached, it was hollow, empty.

Sadness, despair, loneliness, grief, pain, anguish, desperation.

The strong emotions washed over her, taking her breath away.

Poe Dameron rushed to her side.

“General, What is it?”

“Poe, uh..I’m fine...I just need a moment alone..”

“Well you don’t look fine.”

“Poe. Go, please.”

He looked crestfallen at having been told to leave.

“As you wish, General.”

Leia closed her eyes. The force opened up all around her. She saw her son curled up in a ball, sobbing on the floor.

Her heart dropped as she realized it was his pain she was feeling.

“ _Mother_ ”

“ _Ben_ ,” she choked out through her own tears.

She covered her mouth and closed her eyes, rocking herself.

_Her poor boy. Her baby._

She had never felt so helpless in her life. It didn’t matter who he was to anyone else, or what he had done..

_My son._

He had never reached for her, never once in all the years since he had turned, and she knew he had been through a lot of pain with Snoke, so this had to be really bad. He looked completely broken.

“ _Ben, come home, please..”_

She didn’t know if he heard her or not, because a moment later the force changed, it went dark.

He was gone.

She knew there was still light in him, otherwise he wouldn’t have been crying over his broken heart. She had felt it, his heart was broken. Leia dried her tears, determined now, ever the strong leader. There was no time for her own tears, there was work to do.

_There had to be a way to get him back._

———————

 

Kylo Ren woke up with an ache in his chest. He attempted to move toward the fresher, but his legs betrayed him.

Instead, he knelt by his bed, swamped with emotion.

He fisted his hands into his hair and squeezed his eyes shut, shuddering as he tried to hold back a sob, taking in heaving breaths as sweat rolled down his face.

The despair washed over him in waves as he finally broke, allowing the hollow feeling in his chest to win out.

He yelled out in his agony and his frustration and rage at this unknown pain, this emptiness.

He felt utterly alone.There was no one to turn to, to even consult about this.

_What is this?_

He reached out into the force, looking for answers.

_Please stop, please..._

The force was surging all around him, swirling. Dark and light intermingled, allowing him to discern one thing:

Something had been taken from him at the hands of Snoke and eventhough he had no idea what it was, it was tearing him apart from the inside out.

His body was cramping up. He held his stomach as low cramps assaulted him, forcing him to double-over on the floor.

Everything was wrong.

He rocked back and forth, curled up in a ball as he attempted to ride out the pain.

But it wasn’t just his body that was in agony, it was his mind and although he didn’t want to admit it, his _heart_.

Thoughts of his parents immediately came to mind, and of Luke.

They had all rejected him. He had lost them.

It’s not that he even wanted them anymore, they were always a source for this kind of pain.

Except for his Mother, she was the only one that had ever shown him anything close to love.

He remembered her rocking him as a child...... For a moment he reached out for her, a desperate child longing to be soothed from his pain once again.

“ _Mother_ ”

She had heard him.

“ _Ben_ ”

He could get lost here, cling to the good memories of her, memories of a time when he had been loved.

“ _Ben, come home....please.”_

A shudder passed through him as her words reminded him that all of that was in the past.

He was no longer loved, he was cast aside and now on the opposite side of a war from his mother, his father, Luke, all of them.

“ _I just wanted you to love me,_ ” he sobbed outloud in the throes of his sorrow, his brokenness.

But this wasn’t about them. No, This was about someone far more important. This was about someone else....

As soon as he had that thought, a stabbing pain ripped through his skull. He cried out from the assault. Someone had been taken from him.

 _Someone_.

Snoke had taken his memories of whoever it was, and now he couldn’t remember them.

Why would he do that? Didn’t Snoke always do the things that would make him stronger?

Wasn’t all of this part of his training, to make him better? Better than his Grandfather, stronger, more powerful... Wasn’t that his destiny, his rightful inheritance?

He was weak, so weak. Lord Vader would have _never_ given in to this kind of emotion.

“Help me, Grandfather..”

The thought of his Grandfather being one with the force soothed him. Maybe he wasn’t alone, maybe his grandfather could hear him and give him some guidance...

“Please.”

He got up and kneeled now, waiting for a sign or a response, as his body trembled and tears rolled down his face.

Whatever had happened had broken him. He was _broken_. He was drowning in the darkness.

If Vader was listening, he didn’t answer.

——————

The heat of the Jakku Sun woke Rey up. Her body was already drenched in sweat from the suffocating heat that was building up in the enclosed space of her At-At. She hadn’t slept nearly as much as she needed to and she still felt dehydrated as it was.

She attempted to get up, but was stopped short as a strong cramp left her breathless. She curled herself into a ball and rocked herself. It helped a little bit.

“Kriff! Is this what I have to look forward to every month?”

She crawled to just outside the doorway to escape the heat and slept some more.

She dreamt, even as her body lay limp in the Jakku desert. She found herself in a beautiful outdoor room. There was a hot spring and trees. She woke up on a large bed, dressed in white silk.

There was a tray with water and fruit.

She picked up a piece of fruit and took a bite.

“Mmm. This is delicious,”she spoke out loud.

“I’m glad you like it. I had it brought here just for you.”

She jumped at the sound. The voice was so familiar, she’d heard it somewhere before....

“Um, where am I ?” She was starting to feel a little nervous.

"You are my guest,” the voice purred....she knew that voice, she knew him.

“Where are you?”

There was no reply, the dream had morphed into a nightmare.

A masked figure stood over a groveling man with his angry red lightsaber set to strike. It thrummed with dark energy as he held it to to the man’s neck.

He was terrifying to behold.

She gasped as she witnessed the sabre fall, lopping the man’s head off.

As if he had heard her, the figure turned and looked directly at her. She froze as a realization struck her. The figure was Kylo Ren.

 

Several hours later, she woke up again. The sun was low in the sky. She wouldn’t have time to get more water before nightfall and she only had a little bit left, she would just have to go without. No one wandered around the desert at night, much less went to Niima outpost alone at night, not unless you had a death-wish.

She could wait, she would have to.

That was the least of her worries. She felt lost, more alone than usual, sad. There seemed to be a hole in her chest. She spoke out loud to herself, there was no one else to listen. Her heart hurt.

“Is this hormones? Why am I feeling this way?”

_Something is wrong, something is missing._

“I feel more alone than I ever have. I need someone to talk to me, to hold me, to help me through this.

She hugged herself.

“I feel like I’ve had someone do that for me before, but I know I never have. I want it. I need it.”

_Where are you?_

She immediately thought of the voice from her dream.

He was the one that would help her, the only one that could.

 _But he’s not rea_ l, she told herself.

“Maybe I hit my head really hard.. I just need...I need someone right now..”

 _Him_ , her inner voice whispered.

_Stars, I need help._

This is too much...sorrow engulfed her once again.

She finally gave in to the strong emotions that had been beating at her, and cried.

She covered her mouth with her hands and sobbed, her face red and damp with her tears.

_Please, someone make this stop..._

_Ria’a, I’m so broken...._

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first work. Please leave feedback if you liked it, or if you have constructive ideas for me. Reylo on..


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